Dear Prudence,
I watch children from my home for income. One of the parents is a teacher, who should know how important words can be, who has a particularly whiny little boy. When she drops him off or picks him up, a process that takes about 10 minutes on either end, she will scold him for his whining by saying things like, “Stop crying like a little girl!” or “You’re a big, strong boy. Stop acting like a girl, sissy!” I have a young daughter who is around for these exchanges, and it makes me crazy that she has to listen to this. I pulled the woman aside and told her I’d appreciate if she didn’t use these expressions, especially since my daughter isn’t whiny or prone to tears. The woman laughed it off and said it’s harmless and that’s how people talk in the real world. It seems she’s even doing it more often now that I’ve addressed it. Because it’s a professional relationship, I’m not sure what to do. On one hand, she is the parent. On the other hand, this is my home and my child, and I feel I should have some say over what goes on in it. I’ve told my daughter that what this woman says is silly and makes no sense; boys and girls cry, and there’s nothing shameful about that. Do I let it go? Or do I take a firmer stance?