Maid of Honor Dilemma

Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma

• BMoreBride6 member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  If your wedding is Sept. 2015, you shouldn't really be picking/asking anyone yet.  You have a ton of time, let this go for a while and reconsider closer to the wedding.
  
  Edited for grammar fail.
  

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• mileybangerz member

  

  August 2014

  nicolie1125 said:

  My current best friend I have known since I started dating my fiancé. We hit it off right away once I started hanging out with their group and we've been super close ever since. My best friend from high school lives in NC and we've known each other since 3rd grade. After high school we have had our extreme ups and downs and gone back and forth with being close and not close at all. I'm torn as to who I have as my maid of honor. Instantly I thought of my current best friend. She's loves me and my fiancé And since we got engaged has been helping me plan out everything and is making our center pieces even. I know my best friend from high school is going to have a cow that she is not MOH.. I haven't told her yet. Partially because I'm torn on if I should have them both be MOH. My friend from high school has never liked my fiancé really (or anyone else I've dated). But growing up we always thought we would be each other's MOH. When I see pics on Pinterest of a bride with one of her maids there are times I instantly think of my friend from high school but I also can see my current best friend in those as well. Ugh... I hate drama and I don't know what to do. Friend from high school is coming to visit her family in a couple weeks so I'm going to ask her to be a bridesmaid with a cute gift.. I'm scared as to how she is going to act.. I've loved everything about being engaged and planning (it's only been a couple months.. We're getting married Sept. 2015) and this has been the worst part!!

  Don't let Pinterest tell you whom to pick as your MOH.  There is nothing wrong with having 2 MOHs. 
  
  Agree with PP - You have a year.  I would wait a few months before asking anyone.
  

  
  

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• DanikaMarie0227 member

  

  August 2014

  flantastic said:

  Also, no one says you have to have a MOH. If this is still an issue about 8-10 months before the wedding, you can always decide there's no need to name a "chosen one" among the bridesmaids.
  

  
  

  
  

  SITB

  
  

  This. I am not having a MOH because I knew my sister would flip sh*t if it wasn't her. She actually basically said that to me! IMO it's not worth the (unwarranted) drama it would cause (only with her). I told my girls (I only have 3 - 2 BFFs & little sister) that they can call themselves whatever they want. They can all be bridesmaids or they can all be MOHs. 

  
  

  @WinstonsGirl & @AddieCake - told you I'd be SITB soon! LOL

  

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• AddieCake member

  

  August 2014

  You did it on purpose!

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  August 2014

  Don't ask anyone to be in the wedding until the first of the year. When the time comes, your MOH should be the person you are closest to. Not the person you think would help with center pieces, not the person you thought would be your MOH when you were 5. Think about the person you would call if something really bad happened. If your grandmother got sick and your FI wasn't around, who would you call? That's your MOH. If you truly can't decide between the two of them, ask both or neither.

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• jacques27 member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  nicolie1125 said:

  My current best friend I have known since I started dating my fiancé. We hit it off right away once I started hanging out with their group and we've been super close ever since. My best friend from high school lives in NC and we've known each other since 3rd grade. After high school we have had our extreme ups and downs and gone back and forth with being close and not close at all. I'm torn as to who I have as my maid of honor. Instantly I thought of my current best friend. She's loves me and my fiancé And since we got engaged has been helping me plan out everything and is making our center pieces even. I know my best friend from high school is going to have a cow that she is not MOH.. I haven't told her yet. Partially because I'm torn on if I should have them both be MOH. My friend from high school has never liked my fiancé really (or anyone else I've dated). But growing up we always thought we would be each other's MOH. When I see pics on Pinterest of a bride with one of her maids there are times I instantly think of my friend from high school but I also can see my current best friend in those as well. Ugh... I hate drama and I don't know what to do. Friend from high school is coming to visit her family in a couple weeks so I'm going to ask her to be a bridesmaid with a cute gift.. I'm scared as to how she is going to act.. I've loved everything about being engaged and planning (it's only been a couple months.. We're getting married Sept. 2015) and this has been the worst part!!

  Re: bolded above - you're not 15 anymore.  Let it go.  When I was 15, I was going to be a lawyer even though I hated mock trial and found it tedious.  And be married at the age of 27 because 27 seemed like a good age to get married.  And I was going to live in a house off the lake and have the perfect family because at 15 you don't understand how freakin' expensive lake front real estate is or that perfect husbands don't just magically appear because you're the "right" age.  Life happened while you were busy planning to be each other's MOHs at the age of 15 and the situation has changed.  It's not like you signed a contract.
  
  Also, please read the numerous threads on here from people regretting their wedding party picks that they made way too early because in the intervening time period relationships changed, and financial situations changed, and just life happened.  There's no reason to pick your wedding party 13 months ahead of time - all they have to do it buy a dress and walk down an aisle on the wedding day, it's not actually all that complicated or time-consuming that they need 13 months.
  
  And finally, MOH is a position of honor (baked right into the title).  So don't go picking it based on pinky swears at the age of 15 or obligation because you've known certain people longer or because you're afraid of their reaction if you don't pick them as MOH.  Truthfully, anyone who gets that upset over not being picked as MOH such that you're scared about the reaction probably isn't truly a friend or a person you should have in your life at all, let alone your wedding party.
  

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  August 2014

  PPs have great advice: don't choose this early, and choose based on who you feel closest to now.  You can also have both of them, or no MOH at all.

  
  

  In general, I'd encourage you to slow down the early planning.  How can you be already making centerpieces well over a year before your wedding?  It's way too early to be working on details like that.  If you live in a very popular wedding area, it might be time now to book your ceremony space and reception venue.  Anything more than that IMO is way too early.  You could change your mind, your budget could change, anything could happen in the next 14 months.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• cowgirl8238 member

  

  August 2014

  flantastic said:

  Also, no one says you have to have a MOH. If this is still an issue about 8-10 months before the wedding, you can always decide there's no need to name a "chosen one" among the bridesmaids.

  
  That is what I did!!! I just couldn't out any one friends "above" the other as I love them equally for different reasons.  So I just didn't choose a MOH.  Everything has worked out fine and one of the girls even volunteered to organize the bach. party.  I say wait a little while to ask anyone.

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• abbyj700 member

  

  August 2014

  Yeah - all my ladies are special for different reasons - no need to honor one more than the other. :-)

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