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Bridesmaid issue

JBurd06JBurd06 member
First Comment
in Wedding Party

Hi all,

I want to get other people's opinions on this dilemma. Any advice would be appreciated! I have a total of 6 girls in the bridal party.  My wedding is in April 2015. 2 of the girls are wanting to wait on ordering their bridesmaid dresses till December. One because she doesn't know if she will be pregnant by then and the other one plans on losing about 80 pounds. This has been an ongoing thing and I have been trying to be open to their reasons and such. The one losing the weight, said she wanted the wait to order late after the other friend said she wanted to wait. I texted both girls earlier this month and asked them when they both plan on ordering the bridesmaid dresses... I did find a dress about a couple weeks ago and the place wants us to order them the beginning of September. I texted both girls and asked them when they both plan on ordering the bridesmaid dresses. Then I texted them another day and said that we need to talk and they can let me know when the best day/time to reach them. So I called the one and we discussed the problem and she is willing to work with me on ordering it in September. However, the other girl didn't answer when she told me to call her. And I haven't still talked to her about this. She did tell my friend (other bridesmaid) that she is upset that I didn't pick her as my MOH.  She didn't tell me this directly.So now I am left at not knowing what to do.

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Re: Bridesmaid issue

  • JBurd06JBurd06 member
    First Comment

    The store recommended it. Well they said September/October.

     

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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Regarding the issue with not being the MOH, let it go. If she brings it up, have a concise answer. I agree with PPs ... September / October is early to order a bridesmaid dress for an April wedding. I have a feeling the salesperson is pressuring you.




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  • JBurd06JBurd06 member
    First Comment
    thank you all for your input.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just give them the dress information and let them get the dress on their own schedule.



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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    The store is full if shit. You don't need to order that early unless they will be sailing to China to get the silk, sailing back and then hand stitching each one. Your wedding is in 8 months. You can get a wedding dress in less time. They just want your money.
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  • loveislouderloveislouder member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    When we went hunting for bridesmaid dresses 3 stores told me to Oder by the end of September as well, so I know that struggle.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Holy shit-- we're May 2015 and I only barely started looking at BM dresses online. They're saying Sep/Oct, really?

    And yeah, all you can do is give them the info and if they don't have a dress, they don't walk.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Let it got for now, they have the information, it is up to them to order.  That is a super early timeline to order dresses.  And as someone who is a pregnant bridesmaids, if your friend is trying to get pregnant, ordering the dress may be the very least of her current worries. 
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  • lc07lc07 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I get it if it's a possibility that the dress could be discontinued. But in that case, I still think you should wait to choose a dress later and be okay that this dress might not be available. Or you can offer to cover the alterations of both dresses if the true reason is sizing.
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    You may want to find out of the dresses are styles or colors being discontinued.  By Sept., the store is probably rolling out winter dresses or next year's spring?  They may not have the dresses after Sept.  If that's the case, provide the bridesmaids with this information so there's a reason for ordering so soon.  And tell the one losing weight that all dresses can be taken in, but not let out.  There are plenty of tales of woe on here about bridesmaids not ordering dresses, ordering too small, etc. because they planned on losing a huge amount of weight and it didn't work out.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is a sales person trying to make a commission. It's a common tactic. BM dresses come in 2-3 months, or less. A dress can be hand made in less than 6 months. Table this issue until November/December. Then make a decision on dresses and let them make a decision on ordering.
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  • smhubbelsmhubbel member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I know from a friend's experience with being a BM and having an unexpected pregnancy, it can be very expensive and inconvenient to have the dress let out significantly. The style was discontinued so she wasn't able to find a bigger size, so I can understand that BM's position here. 

    The store could have suggested that date because their stock might change at that time, and the dress will no longer be available. 

    If they don't want to order the dress now, don't worry. You communicated that the store wanted it ordered at a certain time. If the BM doesn't do what she needs to do in time, it will be her stress to deal with later because she could possibly be scrambling to get the dress in time. Her problem, not yours. Tell her the store, the dress style number, and the color. Check back in on the situation in December and remind her or make sure she has a plan for ordering the dress soon if she hasn't already.

    If she is just being petty because she is hurt that she is not MOH but isn't mature enough to deal with those feelings appropriately, then again, her problem, not yours. She will get over being manipulative about the dress in a few months when you try to talk to her again December, if it was the case in the first place. 
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  • JBurd06JBurd06 member
    First Comment
    Thanks guys!
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