Bridesmaids Dilema

Modernorthodoxy · August 2014

Hello fellow Knotties!

I have four bridesmaids (also a bridesman and Man of Honor) and we have been looking at dresses for the ladies. I have found two absolutely gorgeous gowns by Jim Hjelm and they are priced at $215. The store that has them only has size 8 sample sizes, so one of my girls was able to try it on, but the others cannot. I just cannot visualize a dress on someone without it physically being on the girl. The four girls run the gamut of being size 8 to size 24. I have also found two other gowns that are around $175 a piece and they have those in larger sizes for me to see all my girls in them. They are a little too plain for me, and very “bridesmaidsy”. They look stereotypical for a bridesmaids gown. I am having a formal cathedral wedding and I want my girls to stand out but I just don’t know what to do. Do I go with the slightly cheaper dresses that are a little predictable, but I know will look good on everyone, or do I take a leap of faith and choose the slightly more expensive gown that looks fantastic on the one girl I’ve seen it on. (I posted this question on weddingbee as well - so if it looks familiar, it probably is! Just want to get many ideas from many people)

Attached are the pictures of each of the dresses.

Thanks!

Traditional style Alfred Angelo:

Another Alfred Angelo:

OR Jim Heljm lovely picks:

OR Another Jim Hjelm:

artbyallie · August 2014

Are the dresses within the lowest individual budget among your bridesmaids? If you haven't yet, you need to ask each of your attendants (privately!) how much they're comfortable spending. Don't name any numbers yourself.

artbyallie · August 2014

And another thought. Bridal/bridesmaid designers tend to run small. I worry whether your size 24 will be able to get any of these gowns in her size since all of them may need to order larger than their street size.

missdelilah · August 2014

artbyallie said:

And another thought. Bridal/bridesmaid designers tend to run small. I worry whether your size 24 will be able to get any of these gowns in her size since all of them may need to order larger than their street size.

This is a really valid point. I'd check the designer website and see what sizes the dresses come in. Often you can get larger sizes, but there's an additional fee for them.

Alternately call around local boutiques that stock these designers and see if they have samples, and what size the samples are. Hopefully you can see what the dress looks like on some of the other girls. Hopefully you'll then be able to determine whether everyone will look great in them, or just one of your ladies.

Have you looked at dress by www.dessy.com? That's where my ladies found theirs - I decided that matching was too hard due to all the different body shapes, but I wanted some consistency. They've got a huge range of styles in different fabrics, and a few different collections. I know their dresses can be ordered up to size 30, but with that extra charge, they're more likely to end up being about $300 each for the larger sizes. If you work with one boutique, you may be able to get a discount for an order that size, but the best I've seen was 15%.

Good luck with your search! I definitely think you need to go with a dress that you loved, so long as it's not going to make any of your ladies uncomfortable (not good for photos) or break anyone's budgets.

hyechica81 · August 2014

i would call around to different bridal shop. ask them if they have sample dresses that are in both larger and smaller sizes so you can see how it looks on both body types. all of my maids were average size but some of the samples the salon i delt with had both a smaller size and a larger size in some of the gowns.

just because it looks good on the size 8 wont mean it will look good on the 24 does the salon have alternative styles similar to the dress in an 8 she can try on. what about finding a plus size salon that has plus size samples for her to try on the rest of the maids can also try on dresses there in the smaller plus sizes like 14s 16s where they can be clipped to see how it looks.

also keep in mind budget get a budget from the girls and go from there ask them are they willing to go over a small amount if you found a gown that every one loved and looked good

theexactlee · August 2014

Alfred Angelo bridesmaid gowns go up to size 30W

xyentruocx · August 2014

I was finding it nearly impossible to find my BM dresses, and I ended up finding one I LOVED (that is actually a "special occasion" dress) at Nordstrom. I had my 3 of my bridesmaids (including our Jr. Bridesmaid) try it on and then got all of the other girls sizes, plus a few extra sizes, and Nordstrom ordered them all in from other stores. So basically, if you're worried about sizing, perhaps step out of the bridal shop mindset and see if you can find something delightfully gorgeous at a department store - they'll be able to easily pull gowns in from other stores or from their fulfillment centers to meet the sizing needs. Oh, and the particular gown that we ordered came in sizes up to 14, but then they had a "plus sized" version of the gown up to a size 28 or something. The brand is XScape, incase you're wondering - and they sell SOME at Davids Bridal, and then at Nordstrom and Macys.

MandyMost · August 2014

Also keep in mind that bridesmaid dresses are going to need alterations. Since they're full length they might all need to be hemmed to the correct lengths. Depending on what is needed your BMs could easily end up spending a couple hundred on alterations if they're ordering a size they haven't physically tried on!

Liatris2010 · August 2014

First, don't suggest anything that is out of your BM's price range. If you don't know what that is yet, stop looking at dresses and ask them. Then resume looking, making sure everything being considered is affordable for everyone. If those dresses are in everyone's budget, ask the BMs what they are the most comfortable doing since they are the ones buying the dresses and wearing them. Personally, I am not buying anything I can't return unless I have tried it on.

atlastmrsg · August 2014

xyentruocx said:

I was finding it nearly impossible to find my BM dresses, and I ended up finding one I LOVED (that is actually a "special occasion" dress) at Nordstrom. I had my 3 of my bridesmaids (including our Jr. Bridesmaid) try it on and then got all of the other girls sizes, plus a few extra sizes, and Nordstrom ordered them all in from other stores. So basically, if you're worried about sizing, perhaps step out of the bridal shop mindset and see if you can find something delightfully gorgeous at a department store - they'll be able to easily pull gowns in from other stores or from their fulfillment centers to meet the sizing needs. Oh, and the particular gown that we ordered came in sizes up to 14, but then they had a "plus sized" version of the gown up to a size 28 or something. The brand is XScape, incase you're wondering - and they sell SOME at Davids Bridal, and then at Nordstrom and Macys.

Obviously check and see if policy is different on a bridesmaid/evening dress, but usually Nordstrom has the best customer service and return policy. They will find you what you're looking for, exchange, take things back...they're great. Last time I was there, they even bought me a latte at the cafe for letting the sales girl style me.

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