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Do we invite these people to the rehearsal dinner?

Sars06Sars06 member
Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I tried to plan a very straightforward wedding without getting bogged down in all the WIC trappings. We are having a rehearsal on Friday afternoon followed by an early rehearsal dinner with just the parents, bridal party, and SOs (read: the people who will be at the rehearsal). Later that night, we are hosting drinks and snacks for everyone who will be in town.

My mom has now suggested that we invite my aunt to the rehearsal dinner because she is coming into town for the wedding on Thursday. Sigh. I know that technically we are not required to invite her, but are we being total dicks if we don't? 

I don't want to because:
- then it seems like we should also invite my fiance's aunt and uncle who we know will be in town on Friday
- then what about my close friends who are also coming into town on Friday?
- what about the aunts and uncles who aren't arriving until Saturday but might have come on Friday if we had invited them to the RD? They just don't get an invite?
- the invitations for the RD went out weeks ago, so the idea of doing a last-minute invite for any or all of these guests strikes me as a little rude.

What would you do? BTW, the wedding is this week.
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Re: Do we invite these people to the rehearsal dinner?

  • jnissajnissa member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My FMIL asked us to do the same thing for her best friend who was coming in from out of town. We obviously weren't going to do it for reasons similar to the ones you stated (invite one out-of-towner, invite them all) and we too are hosting a later night meet and greet for everybody. Here's what we said to her: "It's important to us that rehearsal dinner be a thank you specifically for our wedding party, so we're not inviting extra guests. We're excited to see so and so at the meet-and-greet later in the evening though."
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  • BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Who is paying for the dinner?
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  • Sars06Sars06 member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    We are paying for the dinner. The expense isn't a concern; it's all the aforementioned issues.
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  • NymeruNymeru member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Stick to your guns and keep your rehearsal dinner strictly for the people who are part of the rehearsal.  Once you open the floodgates, you'll find there's a TON of people who people feel should be at the dinner for various reasons.  That's what happened to us.  My FIL offered to pay for the dinner, but invited his entire extended family to the dinner, which caused my mom to invite her entire extended family, so we had a rehearsal dinner that was basically half of our wedding guests.  While it was nice to see everyone, it was not the experience I wanted (especially since we ended up footing the bill, despite what my FIL said).
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  • krcbkrcb member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I am having the same/similar issue. My FMIL has offered to pay for a rehearsal dinner, but my parents do not want to have one because I have 5 relatives coming in that night. They want to have dinner with them and not FI's family. I am not comfortable telling FMIL to add those people to the list because we discussed it just being WP, parents, and SOs. 

    My parents are saying they will not come to FMIL's rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal has not been planned at all because FMIL just offered it. My original plan was to go to a pizza place we all love after the rehearsal and have a good time there. Something not so formal (but fitting for our group) since no one has wanted to attend except for WP.

    It's a cluster. :/
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