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Time for a Friday wedding

carmellahahacarmellahaha member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are getting married on a Friday and are not sure on what time the ceremony should begin. I was thinking 5:30, but is that too early considering it's a Friday? We have a reception hall booked down the street from the park we're being married at, and we have it until 1am if we choose to do so. I just don't want people to wait too late for dinner. So with a 5:30 start time, a short ceremony and small amount of pictures, the reception could start at 7:30-8?
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Re: Time for a Friday wedding

  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    If you are hosting a cocktail hour during the photos I don't think it's a huge problem, but still not ideal. I would prefer a later start time but it really depends on a few factors. Primarily - is the location in an area that will be heavily congested during rush hour?

    I would suggest doing a first look to cut down on photos after the ceremony. Ceremony 6-6:30. Cocktails/apps 6:30 - 7:15 with toasts/prayer/ any pre dinner stuff 7:15-7:30 and dinner at 7:30.

    Personally I think 8pm is little late to serve dinner when guests will have left work early, gotten ready and be at the ceremony around 5 or 5:30. On a weekday you haven't left anytime to eat anything since lunch at work - typically 11:30 or noon.

    ETA there should be NO unhosted gap. Gaps are awful, but a gap on a Friday night is even worse.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • jenajjthrjenajjthr member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Why the 2 hour gap? What will your guests do during that time? How will you host them?

    My niece had a Friday wedding. Ceremony started at 5:15ish, but invite stated 4:45. I will say as a guest that even 5:30 would be pushing it for me to make it unless I took off work early. Unless you were family I would decline if you were not local. 

    To shorten the gap I would take your pictures before hand, then your ceremony, with your reception to follow right after. Maybe an hour gap for some pictures. So if you want the reception to start at 7:30, a 6:30 ceremony start time would be better. 
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  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    carmellahaha said:
    My fiance and I are getting married on a Friday and are not sure on what time the ceremony should begin. I was thinking 5:30, but is that too early considering it's a Friday? We have a reception hall booked down the street from the park we're being married at, and we have it until 1am if we choose to do so. I just don't want people to wait too late for dinner. So with a 5:30 start time, a short ceremony and small amount of pictures, the reception could start at 7:30-8?



    STUCK IN BOX
    So, ceremony from 5:30-6. And the reception wouldn't start until 7:30? If the reception is down the street from your ceremony location, I'd leave about 10  minutes for travel time, unless we're talking crazy city traffic, or an unwalkable distance. That would mean a reception start time around 7:10. As a rule, an hour for cocktails while you do your photos is ideal, an hour and a half is pushing it, and two hours is unacceptable. Speaking of which, you only mentioned "a small amount of pictures" and not the cocktail hour. You need to host (with refreshments and light snacks) any gap between your ceremony and reception. 

    As for your actual question, later than 5.30 is probably better if you want people to make it from work. But, you knew by picking a Friday that some (many?) people would miss your wedding in order to go to work, so if 5:30 works best for you and the majority of your guests, then go for it. 
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2014
    One thing to consider is some people get vacation days, not hours.  So if you have people who work until 5pm (like myself) who don't have the option of just taking a few hours of vacation time, you'd be asking them to take a whole day off to get to your wedding on time potentially.  I probably wouldn't go any earlier than 6:00 start time. 

    I'm also confused why a short ceremony and small amount of pictures would take two hours though.  And I assume there is a cocktail hour while you're doing the pictures, yes?  I like photokitty's timeline above.
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Agree with PPs.  I would not start before 6:00 PM and I would eliminate the gap between the ceremony and the reception.  Limit your pictures to what can be taken before the ceremony and during cocktail hour. 

    I know I personally would not be able to get to a wedding until around 6:00 PM on a Friday, unless I took time away from work.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    PDKH said:
    I wouldn't do any earlier than 6pm. 

    Why wouldn't this work for you?
    6:00 Ceremony
    6:30-7:30 Cocktail hour
    7:30 Reception start time
    This.

    A two hour gap (even if hosted) is too long. Keep the gap hosted and closer to one hour. 
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Another vote for 6:00 ceremony, 6:30-7:30 cocktail hour, 7:30 dinner.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    jacques27 said:
    One thing to consider is some people get vacation days, not hours.  So if you have people who work until 5pm (like myself) who don't have the option of just taking a few hours of vacation time, you'd be asking them to take a whole day off to get to your wedding on time potentially.  I probably wouldn't go any earlier than 6:00 start time. 

    I'm also confused why a short ceremony and small amount of pictures would take two hours though.  And I assume there is a cocktail hour while you're doing the pictures, yes?  I like photokitty's timeline above.
    Or they just get unpaid time.  At my last job I was a part time employee so no paid time off.  I'm honestly not sure if they would have let me just leave a couple of hours early or wanted me to take my whole shift off.  Either way, I would have lost out on pay. 

    The job before that I could take just 4 hours of PTO or possibly use flex time if I skipped lunch all week (which I usually did anyhow).  

    Also, people may need to change after work.  That part time job I mentioned, specifically told us not to dress up for work.  Jeans and sneakers were expected.  The other job let us wear jeans on Fridays and even my normal work day clothes were not what I would wear to a wedding.  Parents will have to pick kids up from wherever to either get them ready for the wedding or drop them off with the evening sitter if they aren't attending.  Plus, Friday evening traffic. 

    Basically a Friday evening wedding is going to be a logistical issue for guests, especially local ones.  
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    lolo883 said:
    Another vote for 6:00 ceremony, 6:30-7:30 cocktail hour, 7:30 dinner.
    Me three! Also, if you don't want a first look, I suggest making a really solid list of ALL the pictures you want (different combos of people, etc) and do everything that doesn't include you and your then husband together before the ceremony. I did this and we had all family & our couples pictures done in like 35 minutes. Seriously though, you don't need 1,000 perfect couples pictures. 
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  • Couggal12Couggal12 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I am having a Friday night wedding. Our timeline is roughly what is mentioned above, although we plan to have a short ceremony of roughly 15-20 minutes so our cocktail hour will probably end about 7:15-7:20 with the buffet opening right after so there is no gap and people will not have to wait for dinner. 

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  • ShadeofGreen816ShadeofGreen816 member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    My friend recently got married in a very congested part of town at 5pm on a Friday. Probably 20%+ of people missed the ceremony and showed to the reception. This is not ideal for anyone. My friend was really upset (don't know why this hadn't occurred to her), and people were stressed from sitting in traffic and being late. Please listen and do the 6:00 or even 6:15 start time. Give your guests a chance to make it on time!
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    A 5:30 pm Friday ceremony means that I would probably skip the ceremony and just go to the reception.



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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    If it were me I'd start the ceremony at 7:00. Or even 7:15. If you consider that most people work until 5:00 then factor in Friday afternoon rush hour traffic, possible kids to deal with (if school is in especially), showering/changing that's a lot of stuff to deal with in a short amount of time. I'd rather grab a granola bar on my out the door than deal with road rage and not getting to change and freshen up before a wedding.

    Years ago my ex and I went to a wedding on an early Friday evening. It happened to be the Friday of Labor Day weekend, and it was west of the city. We sat in traffic with about 50% of the rest of the guests who had to work that day. Not ideal. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    There should be no gap between the end of the ceremony and the start of the cocktail hour. I think 5:30 is a little too early. And personally, I'd skip the ceremony if it started that early and there was a two hour gap. 
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  • cantwaitforthefuturecantwaitforthefuture member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    My wedding is on a Friday and we are having a 5;00 ceremony. We invited 178 people and 164 of them replied yes. I know some will not make the ceremony, and that is ok, but honestly the people we really care about, will make time for us and take a half day if needed. It has not been a big deal at all.
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  • chkmeowtchkmeowt member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm getting married next Friday night: Every single photo is getting taken prior to the ceremony. 6pm Ceremony 6:30 pm (approx) Cocktail Hour 7:30 pm Dinner 8:30 pm Dance 12 am we haul our drunken asses to bed

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    My wedding is on a Friday and we are having a 5;00 ceremony. We invited 178 people and 164 of them replied yes. I know some will not make the ceremony, and that is ok, but honestly the people we really care about, will make time for us and take a half day if needed. It has not been a big deal at all.
    So if they are faced with the decision of losing their job or missing your ceremony, they either lose the job or they don't love you enough?

    If you expect them to care about you, you should care enough about them to make attending your wedding as easy as possible. 
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  • Couggal12Couggal12 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    My wedding is on a Friday and we are having a 5;00 ceremony. We invited 178 people and 164 of them replied yes. I know some will not make the ceremony, and that is ok, but honestly the people we really care about, will make time for us and take a half day if needed. It has not been a big deal at all.
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    How thoughtful of you. 

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  • cantwaitforthefuturecantwaitforthefuture member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited August 2014
     Our venue got double booked for the day after, a Saturday, so we made the decision to switch it to the day before.  It's hardly the end of the world. My point was that our close friends and family will be at the ceremony and that is fine by us.  I never said anything about anyone "not loving me", that was all you.  I understand that life happens and if someone could not make the ceremony, that's okay.
    With that said, no one is going to lose their job over a half day off of work.  You people are more dramatic than the 7th graders I teach.

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    cantwaitforthefuture said:

     Our venue got double booked for the day after, a Saturday, so we made the decision to switch it to the day before.  It's hardly the end of the world. My point was that our close friends and family will be at the ceremony and that is fine by us.  I never said anything about anyone "not loving me", that was all you.  I understand that life happens and if someone could not make the ceremony, that's okay.

    With that said, no one is going to lose their job over a half day off of work.  You people are more dramatic than the 7th graders I teach.

    *******sitb*********
    I despise Friday weddings. I don't think anyone is immature for saying they disagree with the sentiment that basically people who care " will be there and take a half day if needed." That is a crappy thought process. If I were your friend I'd LOVE to come but just couldn't do it. My job is demanding and I don't get a ton of vacation.

    I had 8 weddings to attend this summer. Yup - count 'em. If everyone did a Friday wedding I'd be vacationless in a hot minute.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    We had a friday wedding, and ceremony was at 6.  We had a quick ceremony and then the reception was at the same location so guests were ushered right to cocktails (while we took pics on site) and we were announced into the reception slightly before 7:30 where the venue immediately started serving dinner.  We did toasts and thank yous, etc after dinner before dancing so guests did not have to wait until 8 to start eating.  (they of course had aps at the coctail hour too).  Our venue did a "first look" of the room with H & I in between pictures so they opened the room early to guests (7ish) to start finding their seats and whatnot.  I never felt rushed one bit, and we got many compliments from guests on how smoothly the venue coordinated the day.

    if the hall is down the street, you can easily have a 6pm ceremony with a cocktail hour starting at the reception hall at 6:30 while you guys do pictures.  Have your reception/dinner start at 7:30.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
     Our venue got double booked for the day after, a Saturday, so we made the decision to switch it to the day before.  It's hardly the end of the world. My point was that our close friends and family will be at the ceremony and that is fine by us.  I never said anything about anyone "not loving me", that was all you.  I understand that life happens and if someone could not make the ceremony, that's okay.
    With that said, no one is going to lose their job over a half day off of work.  You people are more dramatic than the 7th graders I teach.

    If you're a teacher with a union and tenure, you don't understand how easy it is for some people to lose their jobs. No, it may not come to that for most people, but that doesn't mean they care about you any less than the people who can/do make it there in time. Even if they don't lose their jobs, they probably take a certain amount of pride in their work and won't shirk responsibilities.

    I will show someone exactly the same level of thought they show me. Choosing to have a wedding at 5:00 on a Friday shows you really don't care that much about me being there, since I work a very standard Mon-Fri 9-5 job that's pretty darn easy to plan around. If you don't show consideration to make it convenient for me to be there, I won't bend over backwards to finish projects early, have people cover my meetings, and beat traffic to get there on time and dressed appropriately.

    There's nothing wrong with saying "it's fine with me if people can't make it;" it's not ok to insinuate that the people who are there care more.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
     Our venue got double booked for the day after, a Saturday, so we made the decision to switch it to the day before.  It's hardly the end of the world. My point was that our close friends and family will be at the ceremony and that is fine by us.  I never said anything about anyone "not loving me", that was all you.  I understand that life happens and if someone could not make the ceremony, that's okay.
    With that said, no one is going to lose their job over a half day off of work.  You people are more dramatic than the 7th graders I teach.

    Wanna bet?  Not everyone gets time off.  And even if they do get time off their employer can deny the request.  I had one job that if you had a time off request denied and then called off for that day it was grounds for automatic termination.  
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  • cantwaitforthefuturecantwaitforthefuture member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    Wow. Just wow. Thanks, ladies, for turning weddings, something that should be joy filled, into nothing more than a snark fest of accusations, twisted words, and judgement. You all rock. Time to deactivate my account. Enjoy your divorces in a few years once your fiances/husbands realize who they married.
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    Wow. Just wow. Thanks, ladies, for turning weddings, something that should be joy filled, into nothing more than a snark fest of accusations, twisted words, and judgement. You all rock. Time to deactivate my account. Enjoy your divorces in a few years once your fiances/husbands realize who they married.
    bingo?

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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    Wow. Just wow. Thanks, ladies, for turning weddings, something that should be joy filled, into nothing more than a snark fest of accusations, twisted words, and judgement. You all rock. Time to deactivate my account. Enjoy your divorces in a few years once your fiances/husbands realize who they married.
    And you are an educator? My word, I fear for our future generation...
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  • Couggal12Couggal12 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    Wow. Just wow. Thanks, ladies, for turning weddings, something that should be joy filled, into nothing more than a snark fest of accusations, twisted words, and judgement. You all rock. Time to deactivate my account. Enjoy your divorces in a few years once your fiances/husbands realize who they married.
     
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    cantwaitforthefuture said:
    Wow. Just wow. Thanks, ladies, for turning weddings, something that should be joy filled, into nothing more than a snark fest of accusations, twisted words, and judgement. You all rock. Time to deactivate my account. Enjoy your divorces in a few years once your fiances/husbands realize who they married.
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