OP here:
http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/comment/7312966#Comment_7312966
and if you're lazy, a recap: so MIL's neighbor's daughter is apparently having a wedding shower. I have met this girl on a few occasions, at MIL hosted events, but have no interaction with her otherwise. I didn't know she was dating someone, let alone getting married.
oSIL and MIL were asking me in early July if I had gotten my invite because MIL was the only one to receive one, despite the hosts also requesting addresses for me, oSIL, and ySIL. MIL says something about getting lost in the mail and continues to follow up with me (or DK) every few days to see if we received it. So, like 3 weeks later, I finally receive this invite. MIL said that they had to go and have more printed because so many people didn't receive one. (I guess mail is complicated.)
The shower is in Philly during our upcoming visit.
I knew my MIL would be busy that day (I didn't know anything beyond she was making a cake for and going to a shower) so I had asked my cousin to get together - so it wasn't like MIL would feel like she was cheated out of any time with us or Wolverine. This was before I knew about my invite - once I knew I was invited, I was even more adamant that we needed to make DAYTIME plans to avoid having to go to this shower.
I figured that I was only invited as a gift grab - I decided I'd leave it up to DK if he wanted to get anything at all , since it was his old neighbor, and just send it with his mother.
So I found out more information, yesterday, that has me even more disgusted at this whole situation. DK was talking to MIL and asked her for the RSVP info to the shower, since I somehow lost the much awaited invite, and had never called to say I wasn't coming. He started talking with her and said something to the effect of "making a cake for the baby shower" - so I asked who was having a baby, and he said the shower in August was a baby shower... and I was like, "um, the invite said wedding." So he asked his mom, and she confirmed that it was a wedding shower *BUT* the wedding already happened! Several months ago!!!1!
Me: "What do you mean she's already married? Why is she having a wedding shower if she already got married?"
DK (relaying for MIL) "She got married because her husband is in the military, and they needed to be married so she could move onto the base. They were only engaged for ~2 weeks."
Me: "So, now she's having an after-the-fact shower so all of these people that were not invited to the quickie wedding are supposed to get her gifts?"
DK/MIL:"Pretty much. Apparently they will have a vow renewal in December. As far as I know, she's not pregnant."