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Well, that's awkward

Or maybe I'm overreacting again. I have heard of misspellings on invites, but whoever wrote the bridal shower invite I received today got my name completely wrong. Obviously my name is Kelly, but they addressed it to "Shelley MyLastName". That says to me, "Hi, come over and bring me a gift but I won't take the time to learn your name" (The invites also have registry info printed on them as well as a request for cash for their future home AND their honeymoon, which also speaks volumes).

So a backstory to this situation, because I was going to ask you all for advice on if I should even attend the wedding:

I was invited to a wedding of an old friend that I do not speak to anymore. We were great friends in high school/college, but she met her FI and completely changed. She has decided to become born-again, which is absolutely fine except she is doing it for the sole purpose of impressing FI and his family. She also has a gay mother and has become anti-LGBTQ+, again to impress FI/family. From the sounds of it, her and her mother do not speak despite always being close. I have many deeply religious and conservative friends and I respect that, but this is just strange to me.

At first I figured I would attend, but the Facebook statuses have really turned me off, and any time I have tried talking to her about anything (just shooting the breeze or asking how she is doing- nothing political) she ignores it. She *only* messaged me once after I became engaged to ask me wedding details and to moan about her cousin who is in the wedding and has visible tattoos ("she'll ruin the pictures!"). I find that clearly shows she does not want to be a friend anymore.

I was actually going to make a post asking advice on if I should attend. I am not sure if I am being overly snobby or if I should just decline to both shower and wedding and just send a gift? Any thoughts would be appreciated.


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Re: Well, that's awkward

  • Sadly, I have tried reaching out to her on many occasions with no success. It is a shame, because we were once very close. I was shocked to even receive an invite.


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  • The mistake on the shower invite could have been on the part of whoever addressed them and that person may not have run it by the bride to make sure everything was right.  

    As for the rest of it, it really sounds like this friendship may be over. I think you will probably be very uncomfortable at the wedding.  Maybe send a card.  
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  • That is true- With everything that happened between her and I, I think it kind of added some annoyance when I was already feeling sensitive. So that definitely is a possibility. If it were anyone else, I probably would have just laughed.

    I think I will uncomfortable and FH has expressed that he will feel very uncomfortable.


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  • I totally relate about the statuses I have a "friend" (and I use the term loosely) who posts really tacky/obnoxious things via instagram about her wedding...like yesterday. it was a stack of invites says "golden tickets are going out today" ...bitch please... your wedding is not that special. 
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  • I'd decline the shower and the wedding. 
  • Another vote for no.  A nice card will be enough. 
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  • l I did misspell someone's name on the grooms side when I hosted my friend's shower.  It was an auto-correct mistake from the person that sent it to me, but I still felt awful and apologized.

    That said, I don't think I'd go to either in this case.  I am a deep
    ly religious person and lean a little conservative on some things, but I can't imagine a change in my religious beliefs leading me to get on such bad terms with my mom that we didn't speak anymore.  Unless she was sacrificing infants or something...
  • I totally relate about the statuses I have a "friend" (and I use the term loosely) who posts really tacky/obnoxious things via instagram about her wedding...like yesterday. it was a stack of invites says "golden tickets are going out today" ...bitch please... your wedding is not that special. 
    Wooooow.  That chick is on a whole different level.  FI & I have a few friends who are also engaged that have been posting things about their wedding planning along the way, and while I find it a bit strange if its what they want to do then that is their choice.  Our invites just went out and I really hope no one posts a picture of them on FB.  
  • So the general consensus from everyone I have asked about this situation (IRL and so forth) has been to say, "Bye Felicia". So, it looks like Shelley and I will be declining. I may actually sign the decline e-mail for the shower as Shelley because I figured they will have no idea who I am otherwise, lol. 

    @smalfrie19 Ugh, I hate that. She does that too. Every other post that's not a direct ass-kiss to her FILs is about the wedding. I actually have a few friends who do that.. Like you said, their weddings are not the event of the decade, they need to seriously relax. 

    @scrunchythief I don't think a minor misspelling is too bad! And it's nice you apologized.


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