Invitation Wording

ctr24 · August 2014

Would love to get thoughts on the below. Thanks!!

Invitation:

Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents

request the honour of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Bride's first middle

to

Mr. Grooms full name

Saturday, the fourteenth of March

at a quarter to four o’clock

Church name

Street address

Town, New Jersey

Black tie

Reception Card:

Please join us for cocktails, dinner, and dancing

in honor of the new

Mr. and Mrs. Lastname

following the ceremony

Name of Banquet Hall

Street Address

Town, New Jersey

Accommodations Card:

Hotel name

Address

Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.

Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:

The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015

We have reserved __ seats in your honor.

M________________________________

__ Accepts with pleasure

__ Declines with regret

OliveOilsMom · August 2014

@CMGragain She can give you the best advice on the wording of the invite, though it looks fine to me. The only thing that concerns me is if your wedding is truly black tie. First, the start time of your ceremony makes it seem a little too early to have a black tie reception.

Also, black tie is the top of the top:
-hand passed appetizers
-white glove service
-valet
-live band with DJ for in between
-table side ordering
-sit down 5 or 6 course meal

ctr24 · August 2014

Thanks for checking it over @oliveoilsmom

I appreciate your comment on black tie and agree that that's an important distinction.

We'll be having a full Catholic Mass, which we know isn't everyone's favorite but was important to us and our families. Mass will start at 4 and run a little past 5. It's then a 20 minute drive to the reception. Cocktail hour will run until 7 and the reception will end at 11:30. It will include all of the points you mentioned.

I know having a cocktail hour longer than an hour is a little much, but it's a fairly large wedding and we'll have a dozen different stations in addition to the hand passed appetizers.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

Is your wedding actually Black tie? I went to a wedding this weekend that was SUPER fancy and where there's no way they spent less than $150,000 and it still wasn't black tie... In addition to the things @OliveOilsMom listed, you would need top shelf open bar, a ritzy venue (not sure the level of formality of your banquet hall), etc. Also, if your ceremony is at 3:45pm with the reception starting immediately after, it's improper for men to wear tuxes anyway... which defeats the purpose of Black tie in the first place.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

Do you absolutely positively want a black tie wedding? Are your guests used to black tie affairs?

If they aren't then it is really a lot to ask them to rent tuxes and/or buy long evening gowns for your wedding. You can still have a very formal and classy affair without having your guests purchase attire they may never wear or need again.

ctr24 · August 2014

About half of the weddings we attend are and most of our guests probably own.

manateehugger · August 2014

Disclaimer: I'm being picky.

1. I think for the time, the correct way is, "three quarters after 3 o'clock" instead of a quarter to four - awkward wording either way though. I'd personally want to bump it to 4:00 or 3:30.

2. Your accommodations card says February 2014 - your guests would be SOL for a blocked room.

3. Personal really finicky thing: I think it looks much better when the date formats on the invitation and RSVP are the same. I think "The favor of your reply is requested by Friday, the seventh of February" sounds more elegant and formal than the standard American date format.

4. Either use the British spellings or the American spellings for the invitation and RSVP. Right now your invitation is British and your RSVP is American.

5. Again for formality's sake (since you are having a black tie wedding), on your accommodations card, I would change up the wording a bit. "A block of rooms has been reserved..."

OliveOilsMom · August 2014

@ctr24 you said mass will start at 4? Then that is the time that should be listed on your invites. And no worries about the full Catholic Mass. If that is what you and your FI want, anyone who has a problem with that, its' their problem, not yours.

manateehugger · August 2014

OliveOilsMom said:

@ctr24 you said mass will start at 4? Then that is the time that should be listed on your invites. And no worries about the full Catholic Mass. If that is what you and your FI want, anyone who has a problem with that, its' their problem, not yours.

Oh yeah, if you're trying to make sure people are on time by putting an incorrect ceremony start time on your inviations, that's incredibly tacky and annoying. I'd show up at 3:30 and sit around for half an hour, not pleased.

ctr24 · August 2014

Thank you so much everyone! Such an amazing resource.

CMGragain · August 2014

ctr24 said:

Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Bride's first middle
and
Mr. Grooms full name
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
at four o'clock
Church name
Street address
Town, New Jersey

Reception Card:
Reception
Name of Banquet Hall
Street Address
Town, New Jersey

black tie

Accommodations Card:
A special rate has been secured for guests at Hotel name.
Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.
Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:
The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
M________________________________
__ Accepts
__ Sends regrets

This is formal wording that makes it clear that you are having a full Catholic Mass. Your wording (except for the time) is fine, but if you want to make it very clear, this is the form. Afternoon ceremonies cannot be black tie. Receptions can, though.
You do realize that guests may decline if you put "black tie" on your invitation simply because they don't want to rent a tux? This is up to you, but you should be aware that this places a burden on your guests.
The accommodations card isn't necessary. I would skip it and put that information on your website, with a insert business size card giving that information.

manateehugger · August 2014

CMGragain said:

ctr24 said:

Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Bride's first middle
and
Mr. Grooms full name
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
at four o'clock
Church name
Street address
Town, New Jersey

Reception Card:
Reception
Name of Banquet Hall
Street Address
Town, New Jersey

black tie

Accommodations Card:
A special rate has been secured for guests at Hotel name.
Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.
Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:
The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
M________________________________
__ Accepts
__ Sends regrets

This is formal wording that makes it clear that you are having a full Catholic Mass. Your wording (except for the time) is fine, but if you want to make it very clear, this is the form. Afternoon ceremonies cannot be black tie. Receptions can, though.
You do realize that guests may decline if you put "black tie" on your invitation simply because they don't want to rent a tux? This is up to you, but you should be aware that this places a burden on your guests.
The accommodations card isn't necessary. I would skip it and put that information on your website, with a insert business size card giving that information.

I would so judge a black tie wedding invitation that gave me a business card with a website on it instead of an accommodations card.

CMGragain · August 2014

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

ctr24 said:

Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Bride's first middle
and
Mr. Grooms full name
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
at four o'clock
Church name
Street address
Town, New Jersey

Reception Card:
Reception
Name of Banquet Hall
Street Address
Town, New Jersey

black tie

Accommodations Card:
A special rate has been secured for guests at Hotel name.
Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.
Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:
The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
M________________________________
__ Accepts
__ Sends regrets

This is formal wording that makes it clear that you are having a full Catholic Mass. Your wording (except for the time) is fine, but if you want to make it very clear, this is the form. Afternoon ceremonies cannot be black tie. Receptions can, though.
You do realize that guests may decline if you put "black tie" on your invitation simply because they don't want to rent a tux? This is up to you, but you should be aware that this places a burden on your guests.
The accommodations card isn't necessary. I would skip it and put that information on your website, with a insert business size card giving that information.

I would so judge a black tie wedding invitation that gave me a business card with a website on it instead of an accommodations card.

I said a business size card, not a business card. I agree with you on that. We had them printed like this: "For more information about directions, hotel reservations, and other questions, please visit our wedding website, http://www.theknot.ourwedding."For a black tie wedding, all that is needed is an engraved invitation and the correct time of day (After 6:00PM). Everything else, including a pre-printed response card, is optional.

manateehugger · August 2014

CMGragain said:

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

ctr24 said:

Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Bride's first middle
and
Mr. Grooms full name
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
at four o'clock
Church name
Street address
Town, New Jersey

Reception Card:
Reception
Name of Banquet Hall
Street Address
Town, New Jersey

black tie

Accommodations Card:
A special rate has been secured for guests at Hotel name.
Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.
Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:
The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
M________________________________
__ Accepts
__ Sends regrets

This is formal wording that makes it clear that you are having a full Catholic Mass. Your wording (except for the time) is fine, but if you want to make it very clear, this is the form. Afternoon ceremonies cannot be black tie. Receptions can, though.
You do realize that guests may decline if you put "black tie" on your invitation simply because they don't want to rent a tux? This is up to you, but you should be aware that this places a burden on your guests.
The accommodations card isn't necessary. I would skip it and put that information on your website, with a insert business size card giving that information.

I would so judge a black tie wedding invitation that gave me a business card with a website on it instead of an accommodations card.

I said a business size card, not a business card. I agree with you on that. We had them priinted like this: "For more information about directions, hotel reservations, and other questions, please visit our wedding website, http://www.theknot.ourwedding."

I would still judge a tiny little card alongside a formal invitation. Why wouldn't you include an accommodations card if you are having a black tie wedding?

Even most formal, non black tie weddings invitations I receive have accommodations cards. If the idea is to convey formality befitting a black tie wedding, a business card-sized card with a website on it doesn't get it done.

That looks like you went to Vistaprint as an after thought.

CMGragain · August 2014

I guess I am a minimalist.

misshart00 · August 2014

Besides the obvious information on it, what's the difference between a business card and a business SIZE card?

Maggie0829 · August 2014

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

ctr24 said:

Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
request the honour of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Bride's first middle
and
Mr. Grooms full name
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
at four o'clock
Church name
Street address
Town, New Jersey

Reception Card:
Reception
Name of Banquet Hall
Street Address
Town, New Jersey

black tie

Accommodations Card:
A special rate has been secured for guests at Hotel name.
Please reference the BRIDE/GROOM wedding when making your reservation.
Kindly reserve your room by February 20, 2014.

For directions and additional information, please visit our website at www.weddingwebsite.com

Response Card:
The favor of your response is requested by February 7, 2015
We have reserved __ seats in your honor.
M________________________________
__ Accepts
__ Sends regrets

This is formal wording that makes it clear that you are having a full Catholic Mass. Your wording (except for the time) is fine, but if you want to make it very clear, this is the form. Afternoon ceremonies cannot be black tie. Receptions can, though.
You do realize that guests may decline if you put "black tie" on your invitation simply because they don't want to rent a tux? This is up to you, but you should be aware that this places a burden on your guests.
The accommodations card isn't necessary. I would skip it and put that information on your website, with a insert business size card giving that information.

I would so judge a black tie wedding invitation that gave me a business card with a website on it instead of an accommodations card.

I said a business size card, not a business card. I agree with you on that. We had them priinted like this: "For more information about directions, hotel reservations, and other questions, please visit our wedding website, http://www.theknot.ourwedding."

I would still judge a tiny little card alongside a formal invitation. Why wouldn't you include an accommodations card if you are having a black tie wedding?

Even most formal, non black tie weddings invitations I receive have accommodations cards. If the idea is to convey formality befitting a black tie wedding, a business card-sized card with a website on it doesn't get it done.

That looks like you went to Vistaprint as an after thought.

I agree with PDKH. If I were invited to a black tie affair then I would expect fancy/expensive invites with all inserts matching and in correct proportion to the rest of the invitation. A small card with the wedding website on it screams after thought and cheap. Also with a black tie affair invite I really wouldn't expect a website (not sure why, it just doesn't seem appropriate for such a lavish affair) but rather all the information provided to me in the invite package.

manateehugger · August 2014

CMGragain said:

I guess I am a minimalist.

Black tie weddings are the antithesis of minimalism.

CMGragain · August 2014

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

I guess I am a minimalist.

Black tie weddings are the antithesis of minimalism.

I disagree. I have been to many black tie affairs when I lived in Washington, DC.

If you receive an invitation from The White House, or an embassy, it is not full of inserts. It does not have a pre-printed RSVP card. It does not have hotel information.

The weddings that seemed to have the most superfluous paper were most definitely NOT black tie.
I could almost predict whose wedding would have the most photo-booth, candy bar, matchy-matchy bridesmaids by the amount of stuff in the invitation, including photo-copied directions.

I worked at one black tie wedding in Baltimore. It was minimalist, as in two bridesmaids, engraved invitations (only), exquisite gown with antique lace veil. I was not at the reception, but it was at a very well known country club. Quality, not quantity. (Pipe organ and hired boychoir!)

CMGragain · August 2014

misshart00 said:

Besides the obvious information on it, what's the difference between a business card and a business SIZE card?

A business card is a piece of paper printed to advertize a business or a person in business. A business size card is a card 2" x 3.5". Business mail should not be mixed with social mail.
A social card is a business size card engraved with personal information, usually title, name, address, and sometimes contact information. These are a very old tradition (calling cards) and seldom seen today. Yes, I have some.
When making enclosures with engraved invitations, handwritten notes are always etiquette approved.

mileybangerz · August 2014

misshart00 · August 2014

CMGragain said:

misshart00 said:

Besides the obvious information on it, what's the difference between a business card and a business SIZE card?

A business card is a piece of paper printed to advertize a business or a person in business. A business size card is a card 2" x 3.5". Business mail should not be mixed with social mail.
A social card is a business size card engraved with personal information, usually title, name, address, and sometimes contact information. These are a very old tradition (calling cards) and seldom seen today. Yes, I have some.
When making enclosures with engraved invitations, handwritten notes are always etiquette approved.

I said besides the information on them. So obviously both of you were talking about the same thing. I saw no need for you to correct @PDKH‌ over something so trivial. I also have social cards. I don't see how that information is pertinent to this post, as well as the comment about handwritten notes.

manateehugger · August 2014

CMGragain said:

PDKH said:

CMGragain said:

I guess I am a minimalist.

Black tie weddings are the antithesis of minimalism.

I disagree. I have been to many black tie affairs when I lived in Washington, DC.

If you receive an invitation from The White House, or an embassy, it is not full of inserts. It does not have a pre-printed RSVP card. It does not have hotel information.

The weddings that seemed to have the most superfluous paper were most definitely NOT black tie.
I could almost predict whose wedding would have the most photo-booth, candy bar, matchy-matchy bridesmaids by the amount of stuff in the invitation, including photo-copied directions.

I worked at one black tie wedding in Baltimore. It was minimalist, as in two bridesmaids, engraved invitations (only), exquisite gown with antique lace veil. I was not at the reception, but it was at a very well known country club. Quality, not quantity. (Pipe organ and hired boychoir!)

I wasn't aware the number of bridesmaids had anything to do with whether a wedding qualified as black tie or not black tie.

I think perhaps then that you and I don't have the same vision of minimalist in the context of this thread then. I don't mean minimalist as in classically simple; because I'm a relatively traditional person and believe that understated almost always outclasses frills. I took you to mean minimalist as in cutting corners or leaving out details which typically accompany formal events given the fact that we were talking about substituting something cheaper for something more elegant and formal.

Sending a "business sized card" that does not match the rest of the invitations is not fitting of a black tie event. If you had suggested that no accommodation card was necessary at all, perhaps we could agree. However, suggesting a "business sized card" in place of a true accommodations card is odd when it comes to a black tie wedding. There are very few expenses or luxurious details (read that as details such as posh venues and white glove service, not candy tables and photo booths) spared when it comes to a black tie wedding - which is why I do not view them as minimalist events. A black tie wedding may very well be minimalist in style, but a black tie wedding is not minimalist in nature.

And I don't believe it's fair to compare events of state to your average society weddings. These events have a different set of rules and expectations.

Look at the end of the day, I think the suggestion of ditching a accommodations card for a "business sized card" is a very odd one for a black tie wedding - that was my primary goal in commenting. I'm sorry it turned into a unnecessary conversation about taste and minimalism.

ETA: Because I can't help myself - an event of state would never have a website either.

CMGragain · August 2014

PDKH, I think you and I really agree on most things. This is just a matter of semantics.
The internet and wedding websites are still fairly new, and etiquette is playing catch up with new technology.
I, personally, hate superfluous frills and knick-knacks. I love simple, sensible weddings - black tie, or otherwise. (Gloved waiters, sit down dinner, full bar, live band, engraved invitations, but not 350 guests.) I'm quality over quantity. Most of my extended family is just the opposite, but we aren't close at all. If I go to a family wedding, I don't criticize, except in my head. (Tuxedos in the daytime - ack!) :-)

PS. I have never been invited to a White House dinner, but I do know people who have been, and seen their invitations, which they were thrilled to receive! ;-)

Maggie0829 · August 2014

You can still have amazing quality even if you have a large quantity.

Invitation Wording

Re: Invitation Wording

Choose Another Board

Search Boards