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Hairdresser help/advice!!!

I dont't normally post in a forum, but I desparately need some advice!

My hairdresser and I used to go to church together when we were in high school (like 8 years ago). She has since moved away and moved back and switched churches. She still does my hair and that is really the only time we see each other. When she first moved back she was in a bad home situation and my parents helped her out a lot, so we consider each other family friends. I went to her wedding, she's invited to mine, but we really aren't good friends anymore. She did all of the hair styling at my sister's wedding last year, and it wasn't the best! The hair styles were amazing!! (She's an unreal hair dresser) But it took FOREVER!! My sister hardly had time for pictures because hair took so long. There were 4 bridesmaids plus my sister. I have 8 bridesmaids plus myself! So I booked a hair stylist for the wedding that specialized in doing weddings. She told me she would be able to get all of my bridesmaids and myself done with plenty of time for pictures. I didn't even think of asking my hair dresser to do it because it would be more expensive and take longer. Last time I was getting my hair done, my hair dresser made a comment about how I can just text her pictures of how I want my hair for the wedding. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was assuming that she would be doing hair for my wedding as well. I didn't say anything to her becasue I didn't realize that until later. I know that normally I could just go to her and explain the situation and she would understand and it'd all be good, but this isn't a normal situation. She is an extremely dramatic person. I mean like post about me on facebook and be rude to be dramatic. I know I shouldn't care, but our whole family gets our hair done by her and she charges us a discounted rate, and I just really don't want to have to find a new hair dresser. I feel like it wouldn't be as big of an issue if we weren't family friends as well. Also, she just found out she's pregnent, so that adds a whole new level of drama to her as well. I know I need to say something, but I'm not sure how or what to say to explain it to her. I'm sure she'll probably be mad anyway, but if anyone has any advice on how to discuss this with her to try to lessen the issue or the drama that will follow I would greatly appreciate it!!!

Re: Hairdresser help/advice!!!

  • Maybe play it up like, "I just want you to enjoy yourself at our wedding, so instead of making you work, I'd love you to just be a guest!" If she presses it, "Your hair at my sister's wedding was so beautiful, but I know you had to donate hours of your time! I really don't want you to have to worry at all - I want my wedding to be all about fun! Enjoy the day with Guest X, Y, and Z (other guests she knows and that are invited)!" And if she still presses, just change the subject ASAP and instead tell her how much she'll love the cake you have planned [insert lots of cake details] and the menu [lots of menu details] and blah blah blah can't wait for you to enjoy yourself blah blah blah.
  • If you don't want her to do her hair then I think you just need to be honest with her. If you think it will really hurt her feelings though could you just have her do your hair? You said the hairstyles at your sister's wedding were amazing and she normally does your hair anyways. Could you just use the other girl for your BM's and use her for you? Tell her that you wanted her to focus solely on you that day and I'm sure that it won't take as long as it did at your sister's wedding if she does your hair.
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  • I think I would probably end up fibbing and telling her that as a gift to you your BM's booked a hair stylist that some of them go to and you hate to offend them by turning down the stylist and oh yeah, you have no idea what salon she is from, you trust your BM that she'll do a good job.

  • Oh yeah, and no matter who you end up having doing your hair, you should be the first person to get their hair done before anyone else, this way you are ready for your photos or anything else that needs to be done. If you run short on time, your BM can always end up with a simplier hair style. Sorry, that might sound bitchy but I think the bride should have her dream hair on her wedding day & if a BM has to go with something less time consuming to do (but still beautiful) then that is how it should be.
  • I wouldn't say anything to her unless she says something to you about it.  If she asks, tell her that you have so many BMs that you thought it might be a little overwhelming for her, especially now that she is pregnant, so you went with someone else.  Also throw in that you want her to enjoy being a guest and not being overworked with that large group. 
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