noting attire in the invitation

Knottie98824330 · July 2014

My wedding does not call for formal attire, I suppose just cocktail attire - would you put cocktail attire on the invitation or would you use another term?

CMGragain · July 2014

It is very rude to put anything about attire in the invitation, except for the notation "black tie", which does not apply to your wedding. You do not tell your guests how to dress for your wedding.

manateehugger · July 2014

Don't put a dress code on your invites- that's a faux pas.

I take my dressing cue from the formality of your invites (heavy ecru or white paper, few colors, and traditional wording vs. nontraditional wording, lots of colors and images), the venue (ballroom = formal cocktail dress, park = sundress), and the time (evening = cocktail dress, afternoon= sundress).

People can figure it out; if they are totally clueless, they'll just ask.

chibiyui · July 2014

Yes, don't tell your guests how to dress. Those who know how to dress appropriately will be upset you think they can't dress themselves, those who don't know how to dress appropriately will not pay attention and show up however they want anyway.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

The formality of your invitations and your venue choice/time of day are enough to indicate how people should dress. If you want them to dress nicely, have high-quality, formal invitations. Book a nice venue and an evening wedding.

It's against etiquette to tell people how to dress.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

Some examples of what people mean by the formality of your invitations:

If I received this, I would wear a floor-length gown, sparkly jewelry and probably get my hair done professionally.

This invitation, I would wear a nice cocktail dress and pumps, maybe some fun statement jewelry.

This one, a sundress and sandals.

princessleia22 · July 2014

Like others said, the formality of your invite should let them know the formality of the event. Most people will figure it out from there. If they are unsure, they will ask. I think today, most people assume weddings are cocktail attire range anyway, unless there is something to suggest otherwise. So, even with no other hints, you have good chance of people dressing appropriate. But, they should have invite style to help guide them also. I had informal destination wedding, invites that looked like travel passports, when people asked I told them casual (sundresses, khakis, etc), and we still had over 1/2 guests show up full suit & tie or cocktail range attire, because that's what they felt was wedding appropriate.

manateehugger · August 2014

brookeapolson123 said:

We disagree! It is completely appropriate and in fact a must, as guests like to be as informed as possible! xx, Brooke www.lovedetailed.com

Of course - how else will you control everyone and make people talk about how you're an insane bridezilla?

Happy Banning! @KnotPorscha

kla728 · August 2014

This is one of those things I never realized could be rude until I almost did it -- chalk it up to complete lack of experience being in or attending weddings. We had it on our invitation drafts and I specifically asked my mom and FMIL about it because a lightbulb went off one day that maybe it wasn't a good idea. They both said we shouldn't put it, but never commented when they reviewed it before -- only once I asked them! I was very glad I did. Don't worry about it, people will figure it out... and if they don't, you aren't going to notice what they are wearing on your wedding day anyway

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

lovedetailed said:
We disagree! It is completely appropriate and in fact a must, as guests like to be as informed as possible!

xx,
Brooke
www.lovedetailed.com

This is terrible advice and is in direct conflict with every reputable etiquette source out there. Way to give crappy advice and try to promote your company at the same time....

@KnotPorscha‌

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

lovedetailed said:
We disagree! It is completely appropriate and in fact a must, as guests like to be as informed as possible!

xx,
Brooke
www.lovedetailed.com

I wouldn't visit the website of a company that gives out crappy etiquette advice, let alone hire them to do anything.

misshart00 · August 2014

I'm confused what lovedetailed up there even does. I looked at he website and it looks like, for $45, they basically gather photos of stuff you would like at your wedding.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

misshart00 said:

I'm confused what lovedetailed up there even does. I looked at he website and it looks like, for $45, they basically gather photos of stuff you would like at your wedding.

LOL - wow, so I can hire someone to browse pinterest for me. Greaaatt.....

KatieinBkln · August 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

misshart00 said:

I'm confused what lovedetailed up there even does. I looked at he website and it looks like, for $45, they basically gather photos of stuff you would like at your wedding.

LOL - wow, so I can hire someone to browse pinterest for me. Greaaatt.....

My little sister does that shit for me FO FREE!

peachy13 · August 2014

I'm getting married on Halloween and was also wondering about this. Most people have already asked us if it was a dress-up thing, which it's not. Even though the attire details have been spread through word of mouth, I still feel like some of my guests may be wondering and I'm tempted to write something just very basic like "Cocktail Attire" somewhere on the reception insert of the invitation, or is that tacky?

Another thought was to include the attire details on my website (but then not everyone goes on the website, etc.)... thoughts??

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

brideloveshergroom said:

I'm getting married on Halloween and was also wondering about this. Most people have already asked us if it was a dress-up thing, which it's not. Even though the attire details have been spread through word of mouth, I still feel like some of my guests may be wondering and I'm tempted to write something just very basic like "Cocktail Attire" somewhere on the reception insert of the invitation, or is that tacky?

Another thought was to include the attire details on my website (but then not everyone goes on the website, etc.)... thoughts??

Not ok from an etiquette perspective - on either the invite or the website.

If someone comes dressed as Peter Pan, you'll just have some hilarious pictures to look back on.

Liatris2010 · August 2014

Our wedding was the day before Halloween. We got a lot of jokes about people showing up in costume, but no one did, unless their costumes were "appropriately dressed wedding guest", in which case, everyone nailed it. I wouldn't worry about it. If someone does show up in costume it would make for the funniest photo-ops.

peachy13 · August 2014

Haha okay thank you

mysticl · August 2014

brideloveshergroom said:

I'm getting married on Halloween and was also wondering about this. Most people have already asked us if it was a dress-up thing, which it's not. Even though the attire details have been spread through word of mouth, I still feel like some of my guests may be wondering and I'm tempted to write something just very basic like "Cocktail Attire" somewhere on the reception insert of the invitation, or is that tacky?

Another thought was to include the attire details on my website (but then not everyone goes on the website, etc.)... thoughts??

I think this is a risk you run having a Halloween wedding. Most people assume that any event held that day is a costume event. Just hope that everyone gets the message and like others have said if someone does show up in costume it will make for interesting pictures.

noting attire in the invitation

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