this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

ridiculous engagement party invite!

TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary
edited August 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
A friend of mine (male) recently got engaged, and he and his fiancé are throwing an engagement party for themselves. They sent the invites via Facebook, and included four registries. Wrong on every level!! we are not good enough friends for me to advise him to change it, but if I show up and it's a cash bar, I'm taking a present and leaving! SMH.They've invited random friends of mine who they met once, at my wedding, and clearly don't plan to invite to their own wedding. So totally bizarre.
Report Reply to Post

Re: ridiculous engagement party invite!

  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary
    Is there ANY tactful way for me to address this? It's next week, so I feel like the ship has kind of sailed....
    Report Reply
  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Are they selling tickets? Is "engagement party" the new term for Jack & Jill's???
    So tacky. So sorry you have to go.
    I think you're coming don with something in about 5 days.
    Good luck with that :-\
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary
    Hahah photo kitty - I almost NEED to go to see this for myself. DH is convinced we're in for a cash bar.
    Report Reply
  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Yeah, there's no way I would attend this after getting an invite like that.
    image



    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Can that even be considered an invite? I hardly ever look at my facebook, I'd never know I was invited.
    Report Reply
  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary

    OH - and the wedding is literally in six weeks. SIX WEEKS. so there is NO REASON for this other that getting gifts. we're celebrating their union basically tomorrow.

    I really want one of my random friends to go and express their extreme excitement for the wedding...

    Report Reply
  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Six weeks? So you already received your invite to the wedding? Are you sure your invited? Are all 250 FB friends also invited?

    This has to be a Jack & Jill mutation at its worst....so gross!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oooh, I'll friend them and join the event!  I'm sure it's a public event.

    I recently got a similar FB invite for a baby shower.  I was invited by the mother-to-be, and I haven't seen this girl in at least 10 years (I went to high school with her sister).  She also clearly invited her entire friend list.  That bugs the ish out of me.




    Report Reply
  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited August 2014


    Photo - I got my STD. They just got engaged about two months ago. She's not PG, so I have no idea what the rush is. I mean, there could be family/health thing going on, and I feel like a witch being so gossipy about this, but it's just the strangest thing I've been involved in.

    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    TheBaysideBride said:

    Is there ANY tactful way for me to address this? It's next week, so I feel like the ship has kind of sailed....

    Click "decline" on the FB invite and leave it at that. I wouldn't be too concerned about tardiness with a couple this tacky
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Engagement parties are NOT gift giving occasions.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • RissAnn1970RissAnn1970 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 10 Comments
    Depends where you live. In NY & NJ, engagement parties are ALWAYS gift giving events, with gifts akin to those given at showers.
    Report Reply
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Oh no, OP, I think you're busy the day of this party! Oh well...
    image
    Report Reply
  • mrsmagicgeekmrsmagicgeek member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    RissAnn1970 said:

    Depends where you live. In NY & NJ, engagement parties are ALWAYS gift giving events, with gifts akin to those given at showers.

    Yet another way in which upstate NY is different. .. engagement parties are rare here, and they are not gift giving occasions when they do happen.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    RissAnn1970 said:
    Depends where you live. In NY & NJ, engagement parties are ALWAYS gift giving events, with gifts akin to those given at showers.

    Please do not generalize. There are millions of people here with hundreds of different traditions and customs. Perhaps it is in your group, this is true.
    Report Reply
  • landa10315landa10315 member
    Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    NYCMercedes said:
    RissAnn1970 said:
    Depends where you live. In NY & NJ, engagement parties are ALWAYS gift giving events, with gifts akin to those given at showers.

    Please do not generalize. There are millions of people here with hundreds of different traditions and customs. Perhaps it is in your group, this is true.

    Yup. New Yorker here. We're having an engagement party in a few weeks because my dad wanted to throw us one. A few family members have asked my sister and my parents for our registry information, but it was NOT included with the invitation. A couple of things have been purchased, but definitely nothing compared to what would be purchased for a shower. We won't have a gift table, and won't expect anything from our guests other than their attendance (should they choose to attend) and well wishes.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Went to Fiance's cousin's engagement party in NYC a few months ago. No registry was mentioned. We brought a gift (a nice little vase), because in my family we ALWAYS bring a gift. A decent number of other people also brought some gifts, some wine, etc. It also looked like, but I can't be sure, that a decent number of people did NOT bring a gift. Had I not bought a gift for the engagement party and shower, we would have just bought her a more expensive wedding present, instead of splitting our funds three ways... so I would imagine for most people it kind of evens out regardless of gift giving/ not gift giving event.
    Report Reply
  • RissAnn1970RissAnn1970 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 10 Comments
    edited August 2014
    Okie doke.

    I'm 44, lead an incredibly varied life with many circles of friends and family, not one. With all the many engagement parties I've been to in many of those circles, different walks of life, religions, ages, and ancestry, only two have not taken place at a catered wedding-type venue or nice restaurant and every single one had gift tables and what looked to be nearly 100% gift giving, whether registry info was provided or not. I'd never go to an engagement party without a gift. It's why my sister and I each actually declined engagement parties when we were getting married. We both knew we'd have showers & didn't want people to have three gift giving events to attend in honor of each of us.

    However, I must admit I don't know every person in the area.
    Report Reply
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've only been to one engagement party (they are not very common in my circle). I did bring a gift, but I think many people feel they are not necessarily gift giving occasions, where others think they are. At the engagement party I went to, a mutual friend of myself and the bride asked if he should have brought a gift. I told him it wasn't necessary.

    My mother in law wanted to throw us an engagement party. We declined because it didn't really work with my husband's schedule. She said we would get more presents, and wanted to invite people not invited to the wedding. My husband said we were not getting married to get presents. 

    I think on this forum we say an engagement party is not like a shower, where gifts are expected, and registry info should not be on the invitation (when it's fine for a shower). I mean gifts are not required for a wedding either, but people certainly bring them.
    image
    image

    image


    Report Reply
  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm so confused by these people.
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards