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Wedding Woes

Come and knock on our door

Dear Prudence,
My sister and I were born just 15 months apart. We get along swimmingly—so well, in fact, that we’ve lived in the same apartment building for years and see each other nearly every day. We exchange babysitting duties and are supportive of each other, practically and emotionally. We live in a really expensive area and buying a house is out of reach unless we move far away from our jobs, our parents (who help care for our children), and the kids’ schools. We are considering buying a house together, with our husbands. It was actually my husband’s idea and my sister’s husband is equally enthusiastic. My husband has found a big house with enough bedrooms, a yard for the kids, and it has two living rooms, so we could each have our own space. We have fantasies of sharing child care and cooking and hanging out after the kids go to bed. Are we nuts? Nearly everyone else seems to think so. I know there are lots of things to think about: Who pays for what, who does chores, how much we can parent one another’s children, what happens when someone wants to move (or, heaven forbid, dies or divorces). But I think the good outweighs the bad. What do you think?

—Two Families, One Mortgage

Re: Come and knock on our door

  • Yeah, this makes me feel squicky for some reason.

    It's awesome that you and your sister are so close, conn, but you are nuts if you do this.
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    The biggest problems w/ these plans isn't how it works but what can go wrong when it DOESN"T work.
    The more people, the more ways something can 'not work'.

    Sis and her husband get into a fight, being in the other half of that house is going to Suuuuuck.

    One person's ILs need a place to crash but having 4 extra people in the home is a PITA.  

    One person of the 4 looses a job and the housing market does another collapse, that whole 'foreclosure actually makes financial sense' appeals to 1/2 the adults living there...but 4 credit scores are tied in.

    The person who does the most cleaning feels underappreciated and wants to junkpunch everyone...


    Yeah, it *could* work, but I'm suspicious
  • This is amazing. The real upside is if there's a divorce (or even two!) then her sister is right there to help out, like physically right there. Perf.
  • maybe they could each buy half of the same duplex?
  • *Barbie* said:
    maybe they could each buy half of the same duplex?
    This was my thoughts.

    We lived in a house with another couple before we were married (they were married) and there were 2 living rooms. This was before children for both of us. We ddi it for 18 months and honestly we had way more good times then bad. But we didn't purchase the house, knowing we could get out at any time. And 18 months was enough, don't think we could have done it much longer.
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  • It seems like getting that big of a house would not really save you anything. I would rather buy a very small house and save money there? I don't really know anything.
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