I hit my lowest point....

BreMR · August 2014

So, as you all may remember that I've been trying super hard to lose some pounds, and I have been doing really well with sticking with my work out plan (30 day shred) and eating healthy. My mom has also been doing a plan with me. We had a discussion before about our mom's and what they did to our body image, and I mentioned that my mom was always very thin when I was growing up (think 120-130 pounds for a 5'5 woman) but she harped on how fat she was all of the time. Needless to say, when I turned 20 and my weight went from 120 to 130 I "knew" I was fat. I've been struggling for years. I'm closer to 150 pounds now, so 130 sounds like heaven to me!

I had mentioned that it was really important for me NOT to raise my daughter the same way. Well, yesterday my daughter walked out of the bathroom and said "mom, I need to lose pounds" Heart. Broken. She's six years old!!! I told her that she is SUPPOSED to gain weight and that it is a great thing. I went to the bathroom, grabbed my scale and threw it in the dumpster. I called my mom and told her we are not to discuss our weight loss or our disdain for our bodies in front of her anymore. I'm hoping she's young enough that I can reverse this.

I feel HORRIBLE. I just wanted to vent! Also apologize in advance for the post and run.. I miss this place but I'm too scared at my new job!

CLoGreenEyes · August 2014

Aww, that is hard to hear from a little girl! I remember that discussion, and I know you are so committed to helping your daughter grow up healthy and confident. It's so hard because I think that kids get bombarded from all sides with messages of inadequacy; even when you are obviously doing everything you can, there's always people on TV, the tabloids at the grocery store, kids she knows...It sucks out there.

I an so glad to hear that you are responding to her this way and are obviously in tune with what she says. As long as she is able to come to you and talk about these issues, I know you're going to give her the encouragement she needs, and it sounds like you are very conscientious of the example you set.

Dignity100 · August 2014

Aw, you're poor daughter!! The only thing I can think of - is your daughter involved in any activities? I think they might give her more confidence and make her feel more empowered and not feel that she needs to 'diet' when at her age she shouldn't even be THINKING of that!

Swazzle · August 2014

I think you're a really great mom

BreMR · August 2014

Thank you ladies!!! @Dignity100 She was in dance for a little bit but she didn't really like it I just went to sign her up for Fall Soccer but the games are days I have classes

So now I'am looking into gymnastics.

I think you're right though, something for her to do that she feels she is good at will be a good thing.

BreMR · August 2014

Thanks @swazzle.. I have to admit, I didn't really feel like one when she said that :-/

Dignity100 · August 2014

@BreMR - what about Swimming or even Karate?

Blackbird230 · August 2014

You are a great mom. I wish my mom had realized when I was young to stop talking about pounds and how overweight and ugly she was. I love that you threw the scale away. Power to you!

BreMR · August 2014

Ooh swimming is a great idea @Dignity100‌!! Probably much cheaper than gymnastics too:) thanks @Blackbird230‌ , throwing the scale away was HUGE because I struggle with how much I weigh myself anyway, so it's going to help both of us!

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I think you are an inspirational mama @BreMR!

My mom has struggled with her weight her entire life. It wasn't until she and my dad divorced her that she finally learned how to take care of herself...and now she's one of the most active, life-living, happy people I know - and even though she's lost a lot of weight, she still has to work at it every.single.day. She's my hero and I look up to her for taking control and working towards her goals.

I think if you want to talk about the changes you're making with your daughter, talk about how much better you feel when you eat healthier and how much more happy you are when you're active. Young girls need to hear about eating right...but it shouldn't be about body image...it should be about health and wellbeing.

Again, I applaud you for throwing away the scale and setting your mind towards becoming a positive role model for your daughter. You leading an active, healthy lifestyle will not only give her the tools to do the same for herself - she will also look up to you because of how you did it.

Blue & White · August 2014

Hugs! I am now lecturing my mom about how her calorie intake is to low so there is still hope for your daughter

It's hard when 5'5" and 120 lbs is the goal. It's doable, sure, but my doctor yells at me if I'm less than 130 and I'm 5'4" lol --> it should be noted the last time she yelled at me I had freakin c. Diff (aka an awful stomach bug). She's lucky I didn't slap her.

I've also removed the scale from our house because frankly, if my pants fit, I'm fat/skinny enough.

lmcooper86 · August 2014

Good for you for taking steps to try and help your daughter grow up with a healthy body image!

I don't remember my parents ever talking about weight or about feeling bad about their looks (aside from my mom saying that her size changed after having kids...not that it was bad, just different), and they encouraged my sister and I to be active and to eat well. They raised us with an "everything in moderation" mindset, and it's stuck. I think that talking to your daughter like @allusive007 mentioned would be really great, to help her understand that eating well and being active are more about being healthy than being skinny.

I think you're a great mama for wanting to make changes now to help her feel good about herself in the future

joy14bw · August 2014

I wouldn't blame yourself girl, look at the TV and other sources. Its everywhere.

My niece just turned 8 and she keeps telling everyone she is 12! I hate it.

bethsmiles · August 2014

I agree with PPs that you are a great mom!

[Deleted User] · August 2014

I love your reaction to this happening, though! But it's true that you can't kick yourself too much if it comes up again later. This crap is everywhere. She can hear it from other kids, their parents, etc. It's gotta be a culture change, or poor little girls don't stand a chance. . . I still wish I commented on my weight less. I hate that I used to be 30 pounds heavier, but now if I weigh 5 pounds more than my new normal (25 less than my highest) I still say I look/feel fat. It's dumb, but I think I'm stuck with it.

buttercup1958 · August 2014

Don't feel bad you sound like a great mom. I think getting her invovled in something would be awesome. If she doesn't like sports what about a drama/ improv group?

BreMR · August 2014

Thank you all so much for your kind words and affirmations of my parenting

I honestly thought that I was a HORRIBLE mom that my kid even had these thoughts. I love all of your suggestions and have already looked into gymnastics and the theater group, @buttercup1958 I don't know why I never thought of that because she is OBSESSED with singing, dancing, and being dramatic:)

buttercup1958 · August 2014

BreMR I think it would be a lot of fun for her! Plus drama is a workout from learning dance routines to moving props. But then again I'm totally biased since I was a thespian (drama geek)

I hit my lowest point....

Re: I hit my lowest point....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards