Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Last Minute Plus-One

acstewart24acstewart24 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am 5 days out from wedding day! Very exciting but with that comes the last minute changes and requests. One of my good friends, who we gave a plus-one, RSVP'd as coming solo. She asked me the other day (a week from the wedding) if she could now bring a date. We have already given final counts and finalized the seating chart, which will need some re-arranging to accommodate another person. Is it wrong to tell her no since we gave her the option to bring someone to begin with? She will be totally understanding either way, just want to know what the right thing to do is. 

I apologize if someone has already asked this. Less than a week out and haven't found time to scour the boards! 
Report Reply to Post

Re: Last Minute Plus-One

  • Options
    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think at this point, if you really can't fit in another person, that you can tell her that you've already planned based on her previous statement that she wasn't bringing anyone and it's too late now to allow her to bring a date.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2014
    It's not required, no. She was aware of the deadline.

    If I were your friend and you explained that you'd have to rearrange seating, call the caterer, etc, I'd thank you and tell you not to worry about it.

    For some weddings, last-minute guests aren't a huge issue (our reception was held in a hotel suite, so there was no assigned seating, and we had a buffet), so I can understand why she asked if it would be okay. It's technically rude to ask, but I had some friends ask to bring last-minute guests (they were given a +1), and I was okay with it. If we'd had a wedding like yours, though, I would have had to say no.

    I'm glad she asked instead of just showing up with a guest. :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd just explain you already had to give final numbers to the caterer and that you are sorry and are excited to see her.  The seating chart was 100% my least favorite part about wedding planning, and before I had to do it, I would have NEVER realized the amount of work that went into it, but after doing so, I would not want to have to rearange.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sarahuflsarahufl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Let her come if you still can, I think it would be nice. We had a few last minute changes the week of and it wasn't that big of a production.

    That said, we had a buffet and probably the World's Most Flexible Caterer. I also designed my own escort cards, so it was easy to add/swap. So it was really easy for us to move people around. If it isn't easy for you, don't worry about it.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    The fact that the wedding is so close and it would cause all that extra work makes it seem fair for you to tell her no. She missed the deadline, and now it's going to cause a problem for you. If you explain it the way you did in the OP, I'm sure she'll understand. No one wants to cause trouble like that for any host of any party, let alone a bride.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    acstewart24acstewart24 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thank you, ladies! Like I said, she is totally not one to cause a fuss about it, and she is not dating anyone, so it's not like I'm excluding someone she is in a long-term relationship with. I appreciate the backup! 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards