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MIL trouble- gift questions?

Chojlink25Chojlink25 member
10 Comments
in Wedding Woes
Asking on behalf of a friend: So my in-laws are pretty rich. They own 2 large mountain homes in Colorado, thinking of buying a 3rd, just bought a brand new Highlander and spends money like it is nothing. So for our wedding, she paid for the one of the groomsmen tuxs, the 2 flower girl dresses (her grand-daughters) and the rehearsal dinner. But that was it- she didn't follow the normal etiquette rules but that was fine with us. 

Now after talking with family we are hearing that she is saying some really hurtful things about the rehearsal dinner and how much it costed (it was a basic Mexican restaurant on a patio- nothing fancy). Mind you, she was pretty drunk at the dinner and went around telling everyone to order anything they wanted. She also got very, very drunk at our wedding- (fell off of a stool backwards and it didn't phase her type thing). Now, I'm doing the thank you cards and noticed the in-laws didn't get us anything!

How do I approach this? I mean they barely paid for "their part" in the wedding but demanded a traditional wedding, have serious amounts of money and they couldn't even bother to give us a wedding gift! Help!
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Re: MIL trouble- gift questions?

  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Chojlink25 said:
    Asking on behalf of a friend: So my in-laws are pretty rich. They own 2 large mountain homes in Colorado, thinking of buying a 3rd, just bought a brand new Highlander and spends money like it is nothing. So for our wedding, she paid for the one of the groomsmen tuxs, the 2 flower girl dresses (her grand-daughters) and the rehearsal dinner. But that was it- she didn't follow the normal etiquette rules but that was fine with us. 

    Now after talking with family we are hearing that she is saying some really hurtful things about the rehearsal dinner and how much it costed (it was a basic Mexican restaurant on a patio- nothing fancy). Mind you, she was pretty drunk at the dinner and went around telling everyone to order anything they wanted. She also got very, very drunk at our wedding- (fell off of a stool backwards and it didn't phase her type thing). Now, I'm doing the thank you cards and noticed the in-laws didn't get us anything!

    How do I approach this? I mean they barely paid for "their part" in the wedding but demanded a traditional wedding, have serious amounts of money and they couldn't even bother to give us a wedding gift! Help!
    Get over it and don't start a family fight over it.  No one is actually obligated to get you a gift, even if it is mean spirited not to.  That's your help.  I wouldn't recommend starting off your marriage by causing a fight over a present.
    �
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You approach it by sending a lovely thank you card saying something like:

    "Thank you so much for your love and support."
    image
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  • Chojlink25Chojlink25 member
    10 Comments
    edited August 2014
    First off, thank you MNNEBride and VarunaTT- I passed that information on to my friend. I think that was sound advice. Second- scribe95- no body cares about your opinion on who should pay for what, this was a question I was asking for a friend as she was having some serious personal issues with the situation. It doesn't matter who paid for what for her wedding or your opinions on that. If you are going to answer a question, at least stick to the subject. As for myself personally- I completely agree that I am "entitled" as you say or as I like to say, lucky. My parents worked very hard to put aside money for my sister' wedding and my wedding. My parents are paying for most of my wedding and my in laws are covering the rest. I completely understand and know how lucky I am to have that as most of my friends weren't that lucky. And yes, I have thanked them all multiple times for what they have contributed to my November wedding. And I'm sure I will continue to thank them even after I have my wedding.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Since going off-topic is a thing, can I just say how much I hate the construction "my sister and I's weddings?"  The possessive form of "I/me" is my.  This isn't exactly an obscure grammar rule, everyone over the age of about 18 months can say "my toy!" "my milk!" it's not fucking "I's milk."  Jesus.
    �
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