this is the code for the render ad
Not Engaged Yet

S/O Confession

Okay so I am posting this here because it's too long for the other thread. It's not really just a confession but I haven't known what to label it and I need to get it out so here is my Confession/AW/Rant/WTF/IDK.

So I mentioned in the Friday thread that we were going to Countryfest on Sunday. Basically a full day of drinking/tailgating in a parking lot followed by a huge country concert. I had too much to drink, as did BF. I wasn't feeling good, basically I knew I had pushed it so I stopped drinking and switched to water, but it made the hangover come quickly. So instead of dancing and enjoying the concert as I should have, I was standing back against the chair and singing occasionally. 

BF was feeling good. REAL GOOD. He wasn't being obnoxious as he has in the past, but it was obvious that he was drunk. We were with our friends who are married and they had been on his case all day asking when he was going to make a move and propose already. So he and the friend left to get water and go to the bathroom, and BF expressed to friend (E) that he was ready to propose and was going to do it. E then said okay let's go and you can do it now. BF was unsure because he wasn't prepared and didn't have a ring but E convinced his that it was okay we could get one later. 

So BF and E come back with waters and all of a sudden BF is down on one knee with tears rolling down his face. He asked me to marry him. I knew that he was drunk, and I was feeling like ass myself, so all I could do was ask "are you sure? Is this real?" He got up off the ground and we sat in the seats to talk. Mind you this whole time the concert was going on so we could barely hear anything. Turns out he even texted my parents asking their permission. My step father responded "Of course! And Tessie just told me she wants you to make it legit" and my mother said "If you really mean it then yes, if you are drunk then I think you should wait." 

BF was upset that I wasn't jumping up and down for joy but I was just trying to process the entire thing. He ended up walking away to find a quiet spot and think. I found him and we talked about it. He just kept saying "I'm just scared. I know this is something I want to do, I'm just scared. You know I can't make commitments, even to what kind of TV I want to buy (that was a 100% true statement). I told him that I was overjoyed that he wants to get married but that I felt it was a conversation that needed to be had sober.

Fast forward to last night. I got home from cheer and we were going to have our discussion over preparing and eating dinner. My mom called. She and my step-father wanted to know if we were in fact engaged or what the plan was. They were so eager and giddy. I told her that BF and I needed to have a conversation and then we would get back to them. 

We had our sober discussion and BF said that he didn't do it just because he was drunk but that he is ready to make the commitment and get engaged. He also expressed that it is important for him to have a ring and be prepared and have a thought out proposal. I agreed and expressed my feelings that it does not have to be something elaborate in the least but I would like for him to be completely sober. BF was extremely embarrassed and feels like he ruined the whole process. I don't feel it was ruined, but I am glad that we were able to have an open honest discussion about it and get on the same page. So after our discussion, we are not engaged, but it is right around the corner. 

Sorry for the novel! 


CN: BF got drunk at the concert and proposed. The next day we had a sober conversation that it was not how either of us wanted it to go, and we are not engaged, but it is right around the corner. 
friends tv show funy

Re: S/O Confession

  • @caseface5 I love you and so does your BF :) Yay! I think it's awesome you had your sober conversation and talked things out! Confession: I thought you were going to be pregnant, so my guess was completely wrong :) Plusalso, 7 months pregnant at Disney would stink.
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • Oh man, this is a hard one.  I would be a little disappointed if H had proposed while completely drunk.  That said, some guys need a lot of liquid courage to take the plunge.  It sounds like you handeled it very, very well.  My only concern would be that now your BF has it built up in his head that a proposal has to be perfect (even though you made it clear to him that that wasn't the case).  Did you guys set a rough timeline?  
  • justbeingme93justbeingme93 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    You handled that entire scenario really well. Your SO should not feel embarrassed about what happened. His friend should feel quite ridiculous, but that is beside the point. That is wonderful that you two were able to talk openly about what happened (and in a non-dramatic way). Way to go, you! 

    On a different note, Yay! You are going to get engaged. :)
  • At least now the cat's out of the bag - you could offer to go ring shopping and pick out the ring (or at least help pick it out) on his terms of course.  So glad you guys were able to have an open and honest discussion about this next step in your adventure!!


    image
    Anniversary
  • You handled that situation amazing. Props to that! I'm really glad you guys had a good sober conversation afterward. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • @Blue, that would SUCK! I'm not ready for that yet.. lol.

    @minskat30 We had a timeline before that we were going to get engaged within a year and that was next July. I honestly thought he would wait and do it in Disney. This situation has moved the timeline up and will most likely occur in the next month or two.

    @justbeingme93 I don't think his friend meant any harm. He is a mutual friend of ours from high school and I think they were just both having a drunk conversation and anything was a good idea at that point.


    friends tv show funy
  • You definitely handled the situation better than I would have. I don't know that I would have been angry with him for getting drunk and sort of proposing but I'd be really upset and even a bit embarrassed that he involved my parents. I would have a hard time facing them and giving them an explanation. I'm glad you guys were able to sit down and have a (sober) discussion about everything and it seems like you're both on the same page now. I'm excited for you that it'll happen soon!



  • @caseface5

    Well, then everyone is in the clear. I'm glad everything ended well. 

    Oh my goodness, your new timeline makes me so excited! You might be able enjoy Disney with your new FIANCE! 
  • You are infinitely more patient and understanding than I am.

    I would've ripped his balls off.
  • We have had the conversation so many times about timelines and what we both wanted. In every conversation, BF stated that he was not ready. That was one of the big reasons that it hasn't happened yet. I posted here about it a while back that he was planning to propose when we bought the house. Because of some drama with his mom and the puppy, we ended up buying before we had originally planned. This prompted the conversation of him not being ready and us establishing the timeline of one year from July. 

    I honestly think he is finally ready and expressed that to our friend while he was being asked about it. Factor in the drinks and situation and they decided that doing it right then and there was a great idea. 

    The entire situation was pretty bad, although I think a good thing came out of it. Conversation is key!
    friends tv show funy
  • I had something similar happen about a year and a half (I think) before we got engaged, where he said something during a disagreement about not having proposed because "you don't like weddings." (First off: to the grave, man. To the grave.) You're a lot more patient than I am - it took months to get over that and for a while I wasn't sure our relationship would survive.
  • You handled that way better than I would have! I'm glad it gave you guys the opportunity to really discuss your future and plans to get engaged/married.


  • @caseface5

    Well, then everyone is in the clear. I'm glad everything ended well. 

    Oh my goodness, your new timeline makes me so excited! You might be able enjoy Disney with your new FIANCE!

    SITB:
    Maybe he'll propose in front of the castle!!  OR Engagement photo session @ Disney!!!


    image
    Anniversary
  • Oh wow!  As others have said, Bravo! for handling that well.  I'm not sure how I'd have reacted but I'm sure it wouldn't have been like that.  I'm glad that you guys were able to talk it out the next day.  Poor guy needed many drinks to get the courage.  My H is the SAME way, takes him forever to commit to something but once he does, it's full steam ahead!


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Thank you ladies for all your responses and for reading my novel. I was upset about it but I think that it completely took me by surprise and that I was totally not ready for any of that to happen. If I had been in a better state of mind I'm sure I would have flipped out and not handled it as I did. 

    Behind all of this, my cousin was taken to the PD and put in the drunk tank and I had that on my mind too. His GF was freaking out because she didn't know what to do. So take being drunk/hungover, cousin in the drunk tank, loud music, thousands of people, and BF down on a knee. It was like a dream that took a long time to sink in. 

    I'm glad that we were able to discuss a more concrete timeline. And I have to admit I am thrilled that he has expressed that he is ready and our timeline is taking the express route. 

    I also have to add, I was really nervous about posting this here. I contemplated it all day yesterday and finally did today. I love that you ladies are all so supportive even during tough/embarrassing times. Thank you for always being there, you guys ROCK!
    friends tv show funy
  • So great that you were able to handle that experience so well. I would probably need a lot of time to process! And many conversations to figure things out for sure. Do you think you will be involved in finding the ring? 
  • 500days said:
    So great that you were able to handle that experience so well. I would probably need a lot of time to process! And many conversations to figure things out for sure. Do you think you will be involved in finding the ring? 
    I asked him if he wanted to pick out the ring together and he said no that it was something he would like to do himself. We will be discussing what styles I prefer and then he will be going on his own for the rest. 
    TwoDimes said:
    You handled that so well! Props to you! I was in a similar situation with BF about 8 months after we started dating over saying the "L" word. For some reason I was OBSESSED with not saying "I love you" until I was absolutely 1000% sure we both meant it. Well, BF finally said to me when we were both drunk. I was PISSED at him for "ruining" it and ended up (drunkenly) crying for hours. I did not handle it well.

    Anyway, good on you for handling it so maturely, and I'm glad that it spurred a serious conversation. Hopefully your parents will be understanding, patient, and uncritical :)
    My parents were very understanding. I talked to my mom about it and she knew that he was in a drunken stupor and that is why she had responded "if your drunk you should wait." They are happy that it is coming, and obviously approve of us getting married, but understand that it was a mistake and liquid courage. I know they will be just as happy when it happens for real and that makes me happy!
    friends tv show funy
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards