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Setting Up for Reception

steph861steph861 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm renting some decor for centrepieces from a company other than my venue. My venue won't put the centrepieces on the tables because they don't want to be liable for any damage caused. 

There are a couple of options, but I won't know which are available to me until much closer to the wedding:

1. Preferred option: Come in the day before and put the centrepieces on the tables myself. This is only possible if they don't have anything booked in the room the day before. 

2. Have a friend / family member set them up either the morning of the wedding or during the cocktail hour (the ceremony and reception will be in the same room and it needs to be flipped over during cocktail hour). I really don't want to do this, for obvious reasons. The venue provides the DOC, so I can't get them to do it either.

I know I'm probably overthinking this because it's several months away and the whole issue could end up being moot if we're able to set up the day before, but I have nothing to do at work today so I'm worrying about shit like this instead.
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Re: Setting Up for Reception

  • Peaseblossom55Peaseblossom55 mod
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    I wouldn't have any friends or family members set anything up the day or the wedding or during cocktail hour. I would want them to enjoy their times as guests not "help". If you can go and set up the night before great, otherwise I'd probably hire a separate wedding planner/day of coordinator to help with the set up the day of.

    Anniversary

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  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
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    Do you have a day-of coordinator? We're going with a catering company because they apparently have a rocking one. I intend to basically go to her with all of these things and say "Please coordinate this on the day of."

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
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    We were able to go the day before, which we only found out that week.

    I paid some college kids to come over and help. Is that an option for you? An easy 50 bucks for them and a great option for me.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    I'd probably do this myself. I wouldn't ask a friend or family member. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    tigersgirlgv said:
    If a friend or family member offers to help with something like this, it would be fine to take them up on their offer. But you should not ask anyone to do this. In my circle, moms, cousins, aunts usually offer to help set up, but they are not required to do so and one should never ask, unless you intend to pay them.
    This.

    Close friends of my mother's who are invited to the wedding offered to help us set up for the reception the night before/the morning of.  They do this all of the time for ppl in our circle.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    I would arrange to have the company you are renting the decor from set it up or not do it at all. Just like I would only hire a florist able to deliver the centerpiece arrangements and put them on the tables. I just can't picture decor important enough that I'd want to put my family and friends to work on it. I'd rather have empty tables.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    Just out of curiosity, if the room has to be flipped where will the tables be and will they already be set up? If the tables need to be moved then I would think the centerpieces need to be placed on them once they are put in their place for the reception. In that case, it would need to be done during cocktail hour and you should really have someone who has been hired to do that so that none of your guests need to miss part of your wedding. Either a DOC or the rental company would be fine. 
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  • steph861steph861 member
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    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    I'd probably do this myself. I wouldn't ask a friend or family member. 
    This is definitely my preferred option. Hell, if I could get in there before my makeup/hair appointment the morning of, I'd do it. My mom would throw a fit, but whatever.

    I won't ask a guest to do it, no matter what. I could probably pay a couple of my sister's friends to do it.

    I guess I was more wondering about what do to if a family member / friend offered to help set up (I'm not going to go around telling people that we need help or anything in hopes that they offer to help).
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  • steph861steph861 member
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    edited August 2014
    tammym1001 said:
    Just out of curiosity, if the room has to be flipped where will the tables be and will they already be set up? If the tables need to be moved then I would think the centerpieces need to be placed on them once they are put in their place for the reception. In that case, it would need to be done during cocktail hour and you should really have someone who has been hired to do that so that none of your guests need to miss part of your wedding. Either a DOC or the rental company would be fine. 
    The tables will be around the perimeter of the room during the ceremony. I'll inquire about this with the decor rental company as well.

    ETA: My understanding is that the tables will be set up before the ceremony.
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  • jules3964jules3964 member
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    edited August 2014

    I agree with PPs—either hire a coordinator or pay someone else to help you.

    For a long time I thought we could get away with not hiring a coordinator... but when I started counting up all the details that would need to be done (and things that needed managing), we bit the bullet and hired a month-of coordinator. I can't tell you how much stress has lifted from my mind ever since we sent the deposit. Best feeling ever.

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  • steph861steph861 member
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    jules3964 said:

    I agree with PPs—either hire a coordinator or pay someone else to help you.

    For a long time I thought we could get away with not hiring a coordinator... but when I started counting up all the details that would need to be done (and things that needed managing), we bit the bullet and hired a month-of coordinator. I can't tell you how much stress has lifted from my mind ever since we sent the deposit. Best feeling ever.

    My mom has a friend that does event planning that I could probably hire if push comes to shove.

    Thanks for all the responses, ladies!
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    steph11814 said:
    ClimbingBrideNY said:
    I'd probably do this myself. I wouldn't ask a friend or family member. 
    This is definitely my preferred option. Hell, if I could get in there before my makeup/hair appointment the morning of, I'd do it. My mom would throw a fit, but whatever.

    I won't ask a guest to do it, no matter what. I could probably pay a couple of my sister's friends to do it.

    I guess I was more wondering about what do to if a family member / friend offered to help set up (I'm not going to go around telling people that we need help or anything in hopes that they offer to help).
    You can take them up on the offer.

    There is a weird mentality towards asking for help/accepting help on this board.  As if asking for or accepting help with wedding shit is somehow more offensive and awful then asking people to help you move, etc.  And people ask friends and family with moving help all the time.

    One should never excpect or demand help, but one should also be able to ask for help if needed.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • melbensomelbenso member
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    We had the same issue with decorations for the ceremony - the one thing that our venue wouldn't do themselves.  I was lucky.  My dad and uncle volunteered to put up the decorations (hang some ferns, wind a garland around the gazebo) that morning.

    If you don't have any friends or family members who will volunteer and the issue on the part of the venue is liability, would they do it if you signed a release agreeing not to hold them liable if there was some damage to the centerpieces?

    And just out of curiosity, are these centerpieces ridiculously complicated and delicate, or is the venue just being overly cautious?  Because if it's something simple, no big deal, sign a release if possible.  But if the centerpieces are really difficult to set up or easily damaged, you should consider hiring someone to do it.  Does the company you are renting the centerpieces from have an option of paying them for set up too?
    image
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  • steph861steph861 member
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    melbenso said:
    We had the same issue with decorations for the ceremony - the one thing that our venue wouldn't do themselves.  I was lucky.  My dad and uncle volunteered to put up the decorations (hang some ferns, wind a garland around the gazebo) that morning.

    If you don't have any friends or family members who will volunteer and the issue on the part of the venue is liability, would they do it if you signed a release agreeing not to hold them liable if there was some damage to the centerpieces?

    And just out of curiosity, are these centerpieces ridiculously complicated and delicate, or is the venue just being overly cautious?  Because if it's something simple, no big deal, sign a release if possible.  But if the centerpieces are really difficult to set up or easily damaged, you should consider hiring someone to do it.  Does the company you are renting the centerpieces from have an option of paying them for set up too?
    They're glass vases. I think the venue has this policy regardless of what the decor is, though.
    image



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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    steph11814 said:
    melbenso said:
    We had the same issue with decorations for the ceremony - the one thing that our venue wouldn't do themselves.  I was lucky.  My dad and uncle volunteered to put up the decorations (hang some ferns, wind a garland around the gazebo) that morning.

    If you don't have any friends or family members who will volunteer and the issue on the part of the venue is liability, would they do it if you signed a release agreeing not to hold them liable if there was some damage to the centerpieces?

    And just out of curiosity, are these centerpieces ridiculously complicated and delicate, or is the venue just being overly cautious?  Because if it's something simple, no big deal, sign a release if possible.  But if the centerpieces are really difficult to set up or easily damaged, you should consider hiring someone to do it.  Does the company you are renting the centerpieces from have an option of paying them for set up too?
    They're glass vases. I think the venue has this policy regardless of what the decor is, though.
    Then I'd either

    A. Politely ask a friend or family member to help you with this, and if they accept get them a nice gift in return for the favor.  I think it's fine to ask friends and family for favors if you are gracious about it and you don't make a habit of taking advantage of people.

    B. Hire the event planner friend of your Mom.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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