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Food and Cakes

Peanut butter filling...?

Hey there, My cake lady tells me I can pick 4 flavors and 4 fillings, which is pretty exciting. I saw she has a peanut butter filling, and I am a complete fiend for anything chocolate/peanut butter, but then a friend reminded me that some people have peanut allergies which could possibly mean that they could have NONE of the cake (even the other flavors), since that allergy is so sensitive sometimes. I don't know of anyone on our guest list who has an allergy, but I wondered if anyone else ran into this issue.

Re: Peanut butter filling...?

  • Just because you don't know they have an allergy doesn't mean they don't. There were people at my wedding I never saw before and never saw again. I have no idea about their medical history. The allergy can actually be so sensitive that just being in the room with the cake could cause issues. I would only do this if you are 100% certain that no one has an allergy.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    snippet17MesmrEwe
  • It sounds super yummy, but yeah, I'd wouldn't do it for the wedding. I'd be too nervous to cause a massive allergic reaction. 

    You never know who may or may not have an allergy. 
    image
  • Ah that's what I was afraid of.  I certainly don't want anyone to remember our wedding as the day they had a massive allergic reaction from the cake LOL.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Yeah, this is something I would not risk.  Unless your guest list was under 20 people and you knew for a fact.  But then you wouldn't really need 4 layers.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    snippet17
  • KahlylaKahlyla Moncton, NB member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    You could always ask your baker to make a little mini-cake with the peanut butter filling that you and your husband (!) could enjoy the next morning or something. The wedding itself will be very jam-packed for you guys (in a good way) and then you come down from that high... why not treat yourselves and have something to look forward to the next day? And you won't kill any guests! Bonus!
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    chibiyuijaime232snippet17MesmrEwe
  • Our wedding cake will have 4 tiers, but two flavors- white chocolate cake with a lemon curd filling, and white chocolate cake with chocolate ganache filling. Chances are, if everyone wanted to try both, they would be able to with our decline rate! (Just 'cause we have less people doesn't mean we will be having less cake, hehehe). The grooms cake will be chocolate chocolate chip cake with peanut butter filling. FI's favorite flavor combo is chocolate peanut butter and having those cake flavors was a huge request of his! At least this way, the cakes won't be touching!
    jaime232
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I like @Kahyla 's idea. One thing I regret is that I didn't eat more than a bite of each cake flavor at my wedding. I got distracted and never had a full slice! How terrible! We did take two tiers home with us, and one, well, we ate it pretty quick. So yes, take steps to make sure you get your cake.
    image



    Anniversary
  • We had chocolate pb as one of our cupcake flavors. I did actually know that no one on our guest list had a peanut allergy, but if anyone did they probably couldn't have eaten any of the cake at all, even if I didn't choose a pb option, considering the bakery makes everything in an area that could possibly be contaminated.
    image
  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2014
     I would *love* if someone had chocolate & peanut butter flavoured *anything* at their wedding! (Peanut butter is, (legit), my favourite food)! My H picked out our cake flavour, which did not include peanut butter. Although, if it had, I don't think I would have been overly concerned. I would have just made sure it was properly, and noticeably, labelled as having peanut butter. Having it on a separate serving plate, and asking caterers/bakers to make sure they take extra caution to not cross-contaminate between the desserts, should be enough. Regardless, anything could contain traces of peanuts anyways, as they obviously use it as a filler in their bakery, and wouldn't be able to guarantee that peanut products didn't come in contact with other desserts. (People with incredibly severe allergies can't even be in the same room as peanuts, let alone touch/eat them). If I was overly worried, I'd clearly mark the peanut butter dessert, and then have something separate, that stated everything may contain traces of peanuts. That's "if" you wanted to be super cautious. Although, I would think by seeing the peanut labelled dessert, and having that allergy, the guest would make the right decision for themselves. 

     *J
    jaime232
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Anyone with a peanut allergy severe enough that they would have a reaction from anything that came in contact with peanuts isn't going to eat your cake anyways. Bakeries make things with peanuts in them and there's no way that they can guarantee there was no cross contamination whatsoever inside the bakery. 

    I think putting allergies on your RSVP card would be a good idea and if it does come back with a peanut allergy from someone then you could change the filling. 

    FWIW,I really wanted strawberry filling in my cake, but I had two guests who were allergic to strawberries. Even though we had two different kinds of cakes I opted for a different flavor filling just so there weren't any problems.
    image
    southernbelle0915
  • I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
  • I have a serious food allergy.  I'm used to declining certain foods when I'm out.  I would never call ahead and ask for someone to make me something special.  I also know what foods are riskier, in terms of it being a potential ingredient/contaminant.  Part of having allergies is living with them.  If you want peanut butter filling, go for it.  Like any food, whether it's an app, soup, or the cake, just let your guests know what it is.  State on the menu, placard with the cake, whatever the flavors.  Then people can make a judgment call about whether it fits with their dietary needs.  Sometimes I'm sad I can't eat the food places, but that's life.
    MesmrEwe
  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    jaime232 said:
    I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
    I disagree.  Then you'll have everyone stating what they are/think they're allergic to and you'll have a ton of special requests on the RSVPs...  Don't open that can of worms.  Have them select chicken or beef, or whatever the entrees are, and move on.  Part of why people are so bitchy is because they're used to being catered to nonstop.  Life isn't fair.  If you can't eat all the foods at an event, you'll live.  There's McDonalds on the way home if you're that hungry.  Since my allergy is mostly in desserts, I'm used to not getting to eat dessert.  And the fro-yo/soft serve/whatever safe food I get on the way home tastes even better if I have to wait to get it.
    MesmrEwe
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    jaime232 said:
    I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
    I disagree.  Then you'll have everyone stating what they are/think they're allergic to and you'll have a ton of special requests on the RSVPs...  Don't open that can of worms.  Have them select chicken or beef, or whatever the entrees are, and move on.  Part of why people are so bitchy is because they're used to being catered to nonstop.  Life isn't fair.  If you can't eat all the foods at an event, you'll live.  There's McDonalds on the way home if you're that hungry.  Since my allergy is mostly in desserts, I'm used to not getting to eat dessert.  And the fro-yo/soft serve/whatever safe food I get on the way home tastes even better if I have to wait to get it.
    I agree with this to a point.  What happens if someone has a pine nut allergy and the dish they selected is covered in pine nuts once it is placed in front of them?  Are they just supposed to go hungry because they chose something without fully knowing what is on it?

    I agree that people take advantage when asked what allergies or food restrictions they have but I think that when it comes to food issues the entree should be the main focus.  As long as you have an entree or entrees that everyone that is attending can eat then you are good.  When it comes to cake, I would keep away from peanut allergies since they are so prevalent if you choose to but I am not one to then get a special gluten free cake or vegan cake or sugar less cake or whatever to cover all cases of food restrictions or allergies.  For cake/dessert you should do your best to allow something that everyone can enjoy if they wish but you shouldn't have to bend over backwards to find something that everyone no matter their food issues can eat cause that may just not be possible.

    snippet17
  • I have a serious food allergy.  I'm used to declining certain foods when I'm out.  I would never call ahead and ask for someone to make me something special.  I also know what foods are riskier, in terms of it being a potential ingredient/contaminant.  Part of having allergies is living with them.  If you want peanut butter filling, go for it.  Like any food, whether it's an app, soup, or the cake, just let your guests know what it is.  State on the menu, placard with the cake, whatever the flavors.  Then people can make a judgment call about whether it fits with their dietary needs.  Sometimes I'm sad I can't eat the food places, but that's life.
    I agree that you can't always avoid all allergen foods and people who have allergies are used to declining foods. However, I have known people with peanut and/or tree nut allergies who are so sensitive they literally cannot be in the same room as that food item.  They could start reacting before they get to the table to see the sign that says "contains peanuts" or "contains tree nuts".  They would have to leave the venue.  That would especially suck if they had flown across the country and rented a hotel room to attend a wedding and it turns out the cake puts their life at risk.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    snippet17
  • jaime232 said:
    I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
    I disagree.  Then you'll have everyone stating what they are/think they're allergic to and you'll have a ton of special requests on the RSVPs...  Don't open that can of worms.  Have them select chicken or beef, or whatever the entrees are, and move on.  Part of why people are so bitchy is because they're used to being catered to nonstop.  Life isn't fair.  If you can't eat all the foods at an event, you'll live.  There's McDonalds on the way home if you're that hungry.  Since my allergy is mostly in desserts, I'm used to not getting to eat dessert.  And the fro-yo/soft serve/whatever safe food I get on the way home tastes even better if I have to wait to get it.
    I agree with this to a point.  What happens if someone has a pine nut allergy and the dish they selected is covered in pine nuts once it is placed in front of them?  Are they just supposed to go hungry because they chose something without fully knowing what is on it?

    I agree that people take advantage when asked what allergies or food restrictions they have but I think that when it comes to food issues the entree should be the main focus.  As long as you have an entree or entrees that everyone that is attending can eat then you are good.  When it comes to cake, I would keep away from peanut allergies since they are so prevalent if you choose to but I am not one to then get a special gluten free cake or vegan cake or sugar less cake or whatever to cover all cases of food restrictions or allergies.  For cake/dessert you should do your best to allow something that everyone can enjoy if they wish but you shouldn't have to bend over backwards to find something that everyone no matter their food issues can eat cause that may just not be possible.

    If the venue has a way to accommodate you, certainly, such as going back and preparing a new version without the garnish.  But if that's it--say wedding only has one dish and all servings already have the allergic ingredient--that's par for the course in having allergies.  It sucks, but a host can't plan for every random allergy.  To expect that is unreasonable.  Like I said before, when you have a serious food allergy, you're used to skipping food because this happens.  There is someone allergic (or thinks they're allergic) to something anywhere you go.  Or they feign allergies because they don't like something.  
  • snippet17 said:
    jaime232 said:
    I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
    I disagree.  Then you'll have everyone stating what they are/think they're allergic to and you'll have a ton of special requests on the RSVPs...  Don't open that can of worms.  Have them select chicken or beef, or whatever the entrees are, and move on.  Part of why people are so bitchy is because they're used to being catered to nonstop.  Life isn't fair.  If you can't eat all the foods at an event, you'll live.  There's McDonalds on the way home if you're that hungry.  Since my allergy is mostly in desserts, I'm used to not getting to eat dessert.  And the fro-yo/soft serve/whatever safe food I get on the way home tastes even better if I have to wait to get it.
    I agree with this to a point.  What happens if someone has a pine nut allergy and the dish they selected is covered in pine nuts once it is placed in front of them?  Are they just supposed to go hungry because they chose something without fully knowing what is on it?

    I agree that people take advantage when asked what allergies or food restrictions they have but I think that when it comes to food issues the entree should be the main focus.  As long as you have an entree or entrees that everyone that is attending can eat then you are good.  When it comes to cake, I would keep away from peanut allergies since they are so prevalent if you choose to but I am not one to then get a special gluten free cake or vegan cake or sugar less cake or whatever to cover all cases of food restrictions or allergies.  For cake/dessert you should do your best to allow something that everyone can enjoy if they wish but you shouldn't have to bend over backwards to find something that everyone no matter their food issues can eat cause that may just not be possible.

    If the venue has a way to accommodate you, certainly, such as going back and preparing a new version without the garnish.  But if that's it--say wedding only has one dish and all servings already have the allergic ingredient--that's par for the course in having allergies.  It sucks, but a host can't plan for every random allergy.  To expect that is unreasonable.  Like I said before, when you have a serious food allergy, you're used to skipping food because this happens.  There is someone allergic (or thinks they're allergic) to something anywhere you go.  Or they feign allergies because they don't like something.  
    NO, NO, NO. That is such a bridezilla type of thinking. The reception is to thank the guests for coming. The bride and groom need to have food for all of their guests. If that means to make sure there is no pine nuts in the food so be it. And peanut and treenuts is a popular allergy and not a real random one.
    This just isn't practical.  Brides here who have small budgets are consistently advised to serve pizza, lasagna, pasta, etc.  Say a guest has a tomato allergy.  Probably a lot less common allergy, one that couldn't be anticipated.  If they can't eat breadsticks or salad, they're out of luck.  The bride can't be expected to have a separate dish just in case of every potential allergy out there.  That's not bridezilla, that's providing food and your guests can take it or leave it.
    MesmrEwe
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    snippet17 said:
    jaime232 said:
    I guess that's true that basically anything that comes from the bakery might have traces of peanuts.  And I hadn't even thought of other allergies (strawberry, etc).  Someone else suggested maybe have the DJ make an announcement or put a sign next to the cake.  Asking for allergies on RSVPs is a good idea too.
    I disagree.  Then you'll have everyone stating what they are/think they're allergic to and you'll have a ton of special requests on the RSVPs...  Don't open that can of worms.  Have them select chicken or beef, or whatever the entrees are, and move on.  Part of why people are so bitchy is because they're used to being catered to nonstop.  Life isn't fair.  If you can't eat all the foods at an event, you'll live.  There's McDonalds on the way home if you're that hungry.  Since my allergy is mostly in desserts, I'm used to not getting to eat dessert.  And the fro-yo/soft serve/whatever safe food I get on the way home tastes even better if I have to wait to get it.
    I agree with this to a point.  What happens if someone has a pine nut allergy and the dish they selected is covered in pine nuts once it is placed in front of them?  Are they just supposed to go hungry because they chose something without fully knowing what is on it?

    I agree that people take advantage when asked what allergies or food restrictions they have but I think that when it comes to food issues the entree should be the main focus.  As long as you have an entree or entrees that everyone that is attending can eat then you are good.  When it comes to cake, I would keep away from peanut allergies since they are so prevalent if you choose to but I am not one to then get a special gluten free cake or vegan cake or sugar less cake or whatever to cover all cases of food restrictions or allergies.  For cake/dessert you should do your best to allow something that everyone can enjoy if they wish but you shouldn't have to bend over backwards to find something that everyone no matter their food issues can eat cause that may just not be possible.

    If the venue has a way to accommodate you, certainly, such as going back and preparing a new version without the garnish.  But if that's it--say wedding only has one dish and all servings already have the allergic ingredient--that's par for the course in having allergies.  It sucks, but a host can't plan for every random allergy.  To expect that is unreasonable.  Like I said before, when you have a serious food allergy, you're used to skipping food because this happens.  There is someone allergic (or thinks they're allergic) to something anywhere you go.  Or they feign allergies because they don't like something.  
    NO, NO, NO. That is such a bridezilla type of thinking. The reception is to thank the guests for coming. The bride and groom need to have food for all of their guests. If that means to make sure there is no pine nuts in the food so be it. And peanut and treenuts is a popular allergy and not a real random one.
    This just isn't practical.  Brides here who have small budgets are consistently advised to serve pizza, lasagna, pasta, etc.  Say a guest has a tomato allergy.  Probably a lot less common allergy, one that couldn't be anticipated.  If they can't eat breadsticks or salad, they're out of luck.  The bride can't be expected to have a separate dish just in case of every potential allergy out there.  That's not bridezilla, that's providing food and your guests can take it or leave it.
    Look, lets all be realistic for a minute. The chances of one couple having the majority of their guests with different and unusual allergies is not really common. But if a guests lets you know that they X allergy or intolerance then you as the host need to accommodate them. Period. So if you are serving pasta and pizza and someone tells you that they are allergic to tomatoes then you make sure you have a nice white pizza and a great alfredo pasta available as well as tomato based items. Not really all that difficult.

    snippet17mysticlViczaesar
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited August 2014
    ETA: TK ate my paragraphs and nobody is going to read through my huge wall of text. Why can't they fix this?????
    image
  • I had a friend whose family member made a big deal about providing a vegetarian meal for her, I remember that being frustrating for the friend.. it is true that it opens a can of worms.  The point about part of having allergies is living with them is a great one.  I've been to baseball games with kiddos who had peanut allergies, and his mom just had to go to some lengths to keep him away from shells, etc.  A friend of mine has Crohn's and essentially can't have gluten, for a while it made picking restaurants sort of hellish, until she learned how to adapt.  SO, I think I'm not going to totally take it off the table (figuratively and literally-ha), but I certainly won't keep people in the dark about it if that ends up being the route we take.  I'm not sure there's any way to be aware of ALL the allergies that ALL the guests may or may not have.  
    MesmrEweatlastmrsg
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    jaime232 said:
    I had a friend whose family member made a big deal about providing a vegetarian meal for her, I remember that being frustrating for the friend.. it is true that it opens a can of worms.  The point about part of having allergies is living with them is a great one.  I've been to baseball games with kiddos who had peanut allergies, and his mom just had to go to some lengths to keep him away from shells, etc.  A friend of mine has Crohn's and essentially can't have gluten, for a while it made picking restaurants sort of hellish, until she learned how to adapt.  SO, I think I'm not going to totally take it off the table (figuratively and literally-ha), but I certainly won't keep people in the dark about it if that ends up being the route we take.  I'm not sure there's any way to be aware of ALL the allergies that ALL the guests may or may not have.  
    There is a big difference between people with allergies just living their lives and being careful and being invited to a hosted affair where the hosts should take their allergies and food intolerance into consideration.

  • jaime232 said:
    I had a friend whose family member made a big deal about providing a vegetarian meal for her, I remember that being frustrating for the friend.. it is true that it opens a can of worms.  The point about part of having allergies is living with them is a great one.  I've been to baseball games with kiddos who had peanut allergies, and his mom just had to go to some lengths to keep him away from shells, etc.  A friend of mine has Crohn's and essentially can't have gluten, for a while it made picking restaurants sort of hellish, until she learned how to adapt.  SO, I think I'm not going to totally take it off the table (figuratively and literally-ha), but I certainly won't keep people in the dark about it if that ends up being the route we take.  I'm not sure there's any way to be aware of ALL the allergies that ALL the guests may or may not have.  
    Sounds like it may not have been an inhaled allergy.  That's where the big issue comes into play. Will just entering the room cause a reaction?  I had shellfish at my wedding and three guests with a known shellfish allergy.  However, they can be in the same room with it, they just can't ingest it.  So entering the reception venue did not put their lives at risk. There were other food options available to them.  
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  • Coming from a family that allergies/intolerances make planning a meal nothing short of a living hell (we've got dairy, wheat/gluten, peanut/almond, banana, ginger, zantan gum, pepper, egg, etc., and don't get me started about the vegetarians..) I finally hit a "meat with a side of freak'n MEAT is what the menu is!  From there if you can't eat it, it's on you!"  Oh yes, and the one with the nut/gluten won't eat fish..  And we do a buffet!  And this is just my In-laws for Thanksgiving dinner.. 

    If someone has an allergy, they will contact you ahead of time.  If you want peanut butter cake, GO for it!  Just put a sign on the cake table of what flavors you are serving that evening that way they can determine for themselves if there's anything on the menu they can't have.  It is what it is, there's accommodating to a point, but there comes a point when one has to realize this isn't a restaurant meal, this is a catered meal.  Buffet is almost always the "safer" meal option because of this. 

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I am probably the only person who does not have a peanut allergy who actually hates peanut butter!
  • we knew who had alergies at my wedding to peanut butter and nuts and we had nothing of that at the wedding we also had a few guest call us and let us know they had some food alergies and if they could still get the chicken meal but minus the breading 
  • I have a guest with a bad peanut allergy, so we're not having anything peanut on the menu. Our caterer initially suggested peanut hummus but we switched to regular hummus. Don't want anyone to end up in the hospital on my wedding day thanks! But I agree you should ask people about dietary restrictions and just do peanut butter if no one has an allergy :).
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