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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Emotions on the day of...

plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
To all of you now married ladies, how did you handle all of the emotions of your wedding day?  I can tend to be an emotional person, and tend to get overwhelmed very easily, and I just don't want to be a big blubbery mess on the day of the wedding.. hahaha! Any tips on how to handle stress/anxiety/emotions etc?? Thanks :)
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Re: Emotions on the day of...

  • I embraced them. I knew I would be a mess, but I didn't want to pretend not to feel my feelings. I was surprised by how physical my stress was (upset stomach, some shaking), so I just took it easy. I cried a lot. A lot a lot. (We had a very emotional ceremony.) I made sure to choose waterproof makeup and I always had a tissue on hand. Of course, there was a lot of laughing too!
    lc07chocolateygabs
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

    I'm glad I'm not the only one out there that feels like that!  I certainly want to embrace them, and the waterproof makeup tip is great. I will definitely have to remember that. Thank you!

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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Did you do  first look?  I'm still debating on whether or not to do this.  I really like the idea of having him see me for the first time walking down the aisle, but a private moment before also seems appealing.. I can't decide!
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  • I cry even just trying to write our ceremony and vows. It's ridiculous. I'll be getting eyelash extensions a few days before the wedding. Even waterproof mascara can't stop my happy tears. Haha.
    runsonveggies
  • I'm also still trying to figure out my processional music, and having to veto anything that makes me cry in the car while listening to it. Haha. So far, this is basically everything. I think I'm going to end up walking down the aisle to the hokey-pokey or something. Weird Al? ANYTHING SERIOUS KEEPS MAKING ME CRY. Lol.
    plainjane0415runsonveggies
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Girl I know it!  Just reading people's stories on these forums gets me teared up!  I cried like a baby when he asked me to marry him, and I know the wedding day will be the same type of situation.  The one saving grace that may be there is, we are doing a small destination wedding of only our immediate family, so the anxiety of standing up in front of a lot of people won't be there (hopefully)
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    lotsosandwichesrunsonveggies
  • Yep, we did a first look. It helped immensely with my nerves, and it was so much fun. FWIW, we both cried. Actually, I don't think anyone didn't cry. Even my dad said his eyes were "sweating." :) We're approaching our one year anniversary (!) and I love remembering the raw outpouring of emotion. It was so special and moving.
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Congrats on 1 year!  I'm still debating on the first look, I think I'll just have to ask FI and see what he thinks.  I'm so excited and just can't wait!
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  • I'm also a crier, also. movies, songs, watching weddings on TV when I don't know people, it's insane... I definitely cried but not nearly as much as I would have thought, I was SO EXCITED to see my fiance one last time before we were married (we did a first look) it really helped.  When we were at the alter and I was holding his hands, i just squeezed and it released some of the overwhelming feelings. I squeezed it like 10000 times... haha... it's weird to explain, but I didn't think i would get a single picture of me not crying, and surprisingly there's only a few (out of the 1900 !!) that I AM crying in.  Enjoy each moment, and if you cry, who cares..! that's who you are.. embrace it!!
    plainjane0415levieenrose
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
     
    I'm also a crier, also. movies, songs, watching weddings on TV when I don't know people, it's insane... I definitely cried but not nearly as much as I would have thought, I was SO EXCITED to see my fiance one last time before we were married (we did a first look) it really helped.  When we were at the alter and I was holding his hands, i just squeezed and it released some of the overwhelming feelings. I squeezed it like 10000 times... haha... it's weird to explain, but I didn't think i would get a single picture of me not crying, and surprisingly there's only a few (out of the 1900 !!) that I AM crying in.  Enjoy each moment, and if you cry, who cares..! that's who you are.. embrace it!!
    Thank you so much for your kind words!  I am just going to embrace it, I am worrying too much!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I am no help because I really wasn't nervous nor did I cry or even felt like I was going to cry. I was just excited and only had to try and control myself from running down the aisle. I kind of was surprised that I wasn't emotional because typically I am (or I should say was...not so much now) but I was just happy and smiley about the whole thing. But I have heard from photographers that if you are going to cry then cry. Don't hold it back because then you typically make some really interesting faces when you do try and hold back tears. Allowing yourself to cry (as long as you aren't hysterically crying) will make you look better in pictures (not that pictures are the only thing that matters but I doubt you want a bunch of pictures of you looking like you are trying to suppress a fart).

    plainjane0415
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper

     

    I am no help because I really wasn't nervous nor did I cry or even felt like I was going to cry. I was just excited and only had to try and control myself from running down the aisle. I kind of was surprised that I wasn't emotional because typically I am (or I should say was...not so much now) but I was just happy and smiley about the whole thing. But I have heard from photographers that if you are going to cry then cry. Don't hold it back because then you typically make some really interesting faces when you do try and hold back tears. Allowing yourself to cry (as long as you aren't hysterically crying) will make you look better in pictures (not that pictures are the only thing that matters but I doubt you want a bunch of pictures of you looking like you are trying to suppress a fart).
    Haha!  This really tickled me!  Glad to see the photographers perspective from it all.  Did you have a first look or no?
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  • I expected to be a nervous wreck, but I was actually quite calm..even whem my mom threw a hissy fit and stormed off. I stayed calm.

    sometimes, your emotions will surprise you on that day.

    Good Luc
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Minutes before the wedding, I was playing Words with Friends on my phone to keep the jitters at bay. Otherwise, I was pretty chill. We didn't do a first look; DH wanted the old-fashioned seeing me walk down the aisle. Just have fun with it!
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

     

    I am no help because I really wasn't nervous nor did I cry or even felt like I was going to cry. I was just excited and only had to try and control myself from running down the aisle. I kind of was surprised that I wasn't emotional because typically I am (or I should say was...not so much now) but I was just happy and smiley about the whole thing. But I have heard from photographers that if you are going to cry then cry. Don't hold it back because then you typically make some really interesting faces when you do try and hold back tears. Allowing yourself to cry (as long as you aren't hysterically crying) will make you look better in pictures (not that pictures are the only thing that matters but I doubt you want a bunch of pictures of you looking like you are trying to suppress a fart).
    Haha!  This really tickled me!  Glad to see the photographers perspective from it all.  Did you have a first look or no?
    Nope, no first look.  Looking back I wish we did do one.  I think it would have helped H and his crazy amount of nerves during the ceremony.

  • @Maggie0829 glad to see I am not the only non-crier.  I always feel a little bad about that.  When I found the dress I got all excited and giggly... not tears.  Scared to death that some people may not understand that I may laugh or bounce through the ceremony not cry.... I guess we'll see soon. 
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  • I am no help because I really wasn't nervous nor did I cry or even felt like I was going to cry. I was just excited and only had to try and control myself from running down the aisle. I kind of was surprised that I wasn't emotional because typically I am (or I should say was...not so much now) but I was just happy and smiley about the whole thing. But I have heard from photographers that if you are going to cry then cry. Don't hold it back because then you typically make some really interesting faces when you do try and hold back tears. Allowing yourself to cry (as long as you aren't hysterically crying) will make you look better in pictures (not that pictures are the only thing that matters but I doubt you want a bunch of pictures of you looking like you are trying to suppress a fart).

    Hahahah, I wish I'd seen this advice before my ceremony because all of the pictures I've seen of me walking down the aisle are fart-holding-back faces of me trying not to cry. My problem was that I didn't want my nose to start running!

    hpubride
  • I'm the one weeping at your wedding, your baby, the movies, while reading, at practically the sunset, wailing, "But it's soo beautiful!!"

    And yet...not a single tear was shed at my wedding. So weird! I think it was partly because I wrote the ceremony, so I read it so many times over that I practically knew it by heart (I remember thinking once, "Oh, the officiant messed that up. Eh, whatever.") And partly because I was so excited to be marrying DH. I practically ran down the aisle, I couldn't wait. I was grinning like a fool the whole entire time. 

    Also, I had this horrific waterproof mascara that made my eyelashes look blobby and false. If it'd been the normal, nice stuff I'm sure I would have cried it all over my face and dress. 

    Then happy I, that love and am beloved 
    Where I may not remove nor be removed.

     --William Shakespeare (Sonnet 25)

  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I'm not a super emotional person, but I did cry during our vows. There was no controlling it or trying to stop it. Tears just started flowing down my face and I just let it happen. DH ended up wiping them away before he started his vows. It was very sweet.

    I was a little nervous and kind of overwhelmed before the ceremony so I asked my girls to just let me get dressed by myself. They went to get in their dresses and I got in my wedding dress by myself and took a few minutes to see myself in the dress and think about what was getting ready to happen. That little moment of quiet time really helped to settle me down.
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  • I am not a crying type of girl.  I went to enter the ceremony room and I blanked out.  COMPLETELY.  I have no idea how I got to the end of the aisle.  Once I was at the end of the aisle I was totally overwhelmed with emotion.  I can't even describe it.  I felt this huge transition during those moments.  Unfortunately, I didn't delicately cry, my nose started running and wouldn't stop!  I tried to turn my face away when I wiped my nose so that people would think I was dabbing my eyes.  It was so embarrassing.  After the ceremony I needed air, so we went outside.  Then I felt fine.  Just really happy the rest of the night.  
  • edited September 2014
    I am such a crier; I feel ya. I have to agree with PPs that can/should own your emotions. Their yours, girl, and nothing to be ashamed of! We greeted people before our ceremony, which helped with DH's basket of nerves and social anxiety, and I cannot tell you the amount of family members who teared up as they saw us. I struggled even then to not cry. The worst was when my dad and I were getting ready to walk down the aisle, and I start feeling him shaking. I turned to him and half-jokingly whispered, "Now, don't you start!" because if I focused on him, that would get me going. A friend of mine told me that she started tearing up as she saw me walked down the aisle, and had turned to her husband and said that she wasn't even crying at her own wedding. I told her that I cried at hers, so she was covered. ;-) Truly, there were a few times I shed a tear or two. I have a friend who is undergoing treatment and just could not make it to the wedding. She texted my MOH, which I saw beforehand, and started crying then. My Something Borrowed became my MOH's hanky. ;-) I then cried during our Prayers of the Faithful (we had a Catholic ceremony) and had said a prayer for our departed friends and family. I had a dear friend of mine who committed suicide three and half years ago, and even though I put her name in there, it still made me tear up to know she was not there. As we were told later, there were a few other people we made shed a tear or two during that particular prayer. As I said, I am a very emotional person (What do get when you mix and Irishman and Latina?--me), and I am so glad for the roller coaster of emotions that day because remembering the day has made me feel so full. That's what's best for me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I am so glad for everyone's input on this, and glad to know that I'm not alone in having so many feelings lol.. I asked FI if he would be interested in a first look to help calm his nerves and he said no, I want to see you for the first time as you walk down the aisle.  It's more special to me that way.  So while I know that will be a HUGE emotional moment for us, I'm not going to try and stifle the tears.  I am so in love with my FI that if I'm crying, so be it.. and they are happy tears, which in my opinion are the best kind!  Less than 8 months to go! Whoo hoo!  Thank you again for everyone's input, I've enjoyed hearing the many stories thru posts, and hope your weddings were very special!
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    hpubride
  • When FI proposed I cried so hard that I got a terrible nose bleed. I bled all over his shirt and my dress and my hands. I bled for about 30 minutes until it stopped. So, our surprise photographer that was supposed to photograph a romantic sweet proposal ended up getting a bunch of pictures of me with tissues and blood everywhere. 

    That being said, I'm SO SCARED that I'm going to cry myself into another nose bleed during the wedding! I dont' want to ruin my dress and bleed everywhere! FI tells me EVERY DAY that he thinks I'm going to have antoher nose bleed during the wedding. So, he's got me really anxious about it!
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    Knottie37373131
  • Update: I did cry... and laughed... all at the same time.  My grandmother got me started before the ceremony.  We weren't sure if she was going to be able to make it there and she did... so she cried, I cried.  So then I was under control.. and teared up again when they left me in the bridal room and I thought about my other grandmother not being there and how proud she would have been of all the DIY... but I got that under control.  I thought I would be fine after that.  As soon as I saw H at the end of the porch (I walked down a long porch alone and we walked up the aisle together) I teared up again and then couldn't stop... which struck me as funny because I am not a crier so I laughed about it at the same time.   I thought he'd be the one and it was me... I guess you just never know.  That day was amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Totally caught me by surprise.  We've been together a long time and I was married before... but this was definitely the way you should feel on your wedding day (tears or not).  :)
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    tammym1001Knottie37373131MrsMelodyShah
  • There's something about this whole wedding business that makes you emotional! I'm not a crier and I tear up at every episode of Say Yes to the Dress, every person's wedding video, every proposal story now. I cried during our proposal and when I found my dress, so bring on the waterproof mascara for the wedding day...ugh when did I get so sentimental! 
  • I just got married on Friday, and I completely surprised myself with how emotional I got. I was teary eyed as I was walking down the aisle. The closer I got to DH, the more I cried. Then I nearly lost it when we danced to our first dance song. The point is, embrace it. It's a very emotional day. As long as it's happy tears (and waterproof eye makeup), then it's, IMO, no big deal.

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