Cheating fiancé

Re: Cheating fiancé

• thejucheidea member

  

  August 2014

  jfc $50,000 could pay off both of our cars and most of our home renovation

  
  

  Go to a counselor. The Internet can't help you. You need a professional.

  
  

  Report8 Reply
• penguin44 member

  

  August 2014

  courtneymb11111987 said:

  So we are about 1 month away from our wedding. I recently found out that my fiancé has been lying about his whereabouts and I have a feeling he is cheating. His exgirlfriend has popped up in conversation and I see she is now on his email list and he had missed calls from her. We share a computer and he left his email open. I am in a really tough spot. I've asked and he denies it 100% . He also recently told me that he isn't sure he wants to marry me because he doesn't always find me attractive and physically appealing anymore. Being a month out everything is nearly paid for (about $50g all by my parents). I have no idea what to do. I don't want to talk to my family about it because I don't want them to be involved in this at this point. I' need help.

  Go get counseling. Not even because of the jealousy and/or cheating, but because of the bolded.

  
  

  Good luck.

  

  
  

  
  

  Report3 Reply
• birdybride2014 member

  

  August 2014

  Please talk to someone about this. There are so many reasons. I wish you all the best.
  

  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• 6fsn member

  

  August 2014

  Postpone postpone postpone. Get a counselor and talk to your family. A divorce or a loveless marriage are going to cost more money and mental anguish than $50k. Also get an std test.

  Report1 Reply
• VarunaTT member

  

  August 2014

  Call all of your vendors and explore your options of delaying vs. canceling.

  
  

  After that, at the minimum, delay this wedding.  Ask your parents to deal with the announcement, since I'm sure they're the hosts.

  
  

  Then, explore if counseling is even an option for the two of you or if you're leaving him.  After you know that, you'll know if cancellations are in order.  By then, you might be able to work something out with the vendors re: money back.

  �

  Report0 Reply
• JasperandOpal member

  

  August 2014

  I agree with PP, call all your vendors and see what their delay/cancellations policies are.  Delay the wedding as much as you can and get counseling asap.  If he won't get counseling you need to go see someone on your own and talk through these issues.  In the end, you may lose the 50g but that is better than marrying someone and being miserable or marrying someone and going through a divorce a few months later.

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• larrygaga member

  

  August 2014

  If how much money your parents spent on you is important, ask yourself if losing that is cheaper or if a divorce is cheaper.

  
  

  lol just kidding go to a counseler. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  August 2014

  If my fiance told me he didn't find me attractive or physically appealing anymore, that would be the end of that. Dump this loser and move on. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report9 Reply
• Fran1985 member

  

  August 2014

  Separate the two issues. 1) your parents might lose 50k and 2) your fiance is probably cheating, but most certainty a jerk, a rude person, and untrustworthy. If you get divorced, your parents are "losing" that money anyway. How are you going to be happy on your wedding day? You both don't seem like you want to marry each other. Cancel the wedding, go to therapy, explore your issues.

  
  
  

  Report3 Reply
• artbyallie mod

  

  August 2014

  Don't go through with a wedding just because you think it's too late to cancel. I'm sure your parents will be supportive and will get over the money if it is what you need to do. My cousin thought it was too late to back out of her wedding and separated after six months and is now looking into an annulment or divorce. Please please please talk to your parents now and don't get married, at least not right away.

  

  Report0 Reply
• GBCK member

  

  August 2014

  the $50 k is wasted if you go through w/ a crap wedding.  It's wasted a bit less (as in, probably *some* of it will not be spent) if you cancle a crap wedding.
  
  Postpone.  Find a counselor for YOU (if you have an EAP through work, now is a good time to call them),  and if you're postponing instead of canceling, find a separtae counselor to do couples counseling
  

  Report2 Reply
• Marzipan13 member

  

  August 2014

  I assure you, your parents will be more upset if you marry someone who is a fucking scumbag (and treats you as such, too) than if they lost $50k.  
  
  

  

  
  

  Report2 Reply
• Bubblegum5586 member

  

  August 2014

  AddieCake said:

  If my fiance told me he didn't find me attractive or physically appealing anymore, that would be the end of that. Dump this loser and move on. 

  agreed!!! 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• emmyg65 member

  

  August 2014

  courtneymb11111987 said:

  So we are about 1 month away from our wedding. I recently found out that my fiancé has been lying about his whereabouts and I have a feeling he is cheating. His exgirlfriend has popped up in conversation and I see she is now on his email list and he had missed calls from her. We share a computer and he left his email open. I am in a really tough spot. I've asked and he denies it 100% . He also recently told me that he isn't sure he wants to marry me because he doesn't always find me attractive and physically appealing anymore. Being a month out everything is nearly paid for (about $50g all by my parents). I have no idea what to do. I don't want to talk to my family about it because I don't want them to be involved in this at this point. I' need help.

  You know what's more expensive than a wedding? Divorce. DTMFA. Seriously, who says shit like this!? Sounds like classic gaslighting.

  
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member

  

  August 2014

  Please please please go to counseling.  PP's are right: a divorce is far more costly, and your parents wouldn't want you going through with a marriage to someone who doesnt love you the way you deserve.  

  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply