Thank you to everyone for the advice

Re: Thank you to everyone for the advice

• ohdannyboy24 member

  

  August 2014

  I appreciate the insight, it's not an easy reality to swallow. FI is around but between our crazy work schedules and whispers in his ear about what to do for the wedding and who to add to the guest list—just feel he's as lost as I am about what to do with everything but am I wrong for thinking I shouldn't be the only one with some incentive?
  I'm glad his friends try to act as though they want to be involved in the planning but with it me against them who knows. Just can't help feeling lost and wonder if I'll get back to feeling that "magic" of planning our wedding day

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  My daughters wedding had 135 guests.  I only knew about 12 of them, and yes, we paid for the wedding.  Only 6 relatives showed up.  The groom's family was a huge Asian family.  They all came.
  It was a beautiful wedding.  I wouldn't do anything differently.
  Many of us come from odd families.  I am 63 years old, and still have to deal with family craziness.  It is especially hurtful when it involves money.
  Try to remember that you are marrying the love of your life.  Enjoy your wedding.  It sounds like there are people in your family that you wouldn't want to be there, anyway.  I was so thankful that my racist mother didn't come to daughter's wedding!  I now have a beautiful blond grandson with Asian eyes.
  

  

  

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• MsNise812 member

  

  August 2014

  I can understand how you are feeling as in the early stages of my wedding planning I also worried about "my side". I have grown very close to my FI's family and they welcome me as if I have always been there, but there were times where I would look at the list and see how little of "my side" would be there and did feel a bit hurt.

  It's good to take a step back and look at the people that are current in your life and you know love you and support you. I am at the point where I could care less if "my side" shows up or doesn't. I will have the people who have been around, especially my future husband. Which in the end is really about the two of us. 

  As PPs said before, enjoy your wedding with your future husband!  

  

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• ohdannyboy24 member

  

  August 2014

  You guys are all really awesome. The advice really is appreciated. I think I might take some time to take a step back and just breath and reapproach my idea boards, index cards vendors and planners with a clearer head

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• short+sassy member

  

  August 2014

  ohdannyboy24 said:

  You guys are all really awesome. The advice really is appreciated. I think I might take some time to take a step back and just breath and reapproach my idea boards, index cards vendors and planners with a clearer head

  I think this is a great idea. I was so worried my DH would feel the same way you do at our wedding. We got married OOT in my hometown. We had a small wedding (30 people), but everyone there except for his BM was my friends and family...only about a third of whom he had met. But his attitude was to be excited to meet my relatives he hadn't met yet and meet the family friends who had known me since before I was born. He even joked about getting the dirt from them on what a naughty child I was. During the ceremony, he was actually crying more than I was . My mom even made the comment about how there were many people there who had never met him, but his emotion at the altar, immediately endeared him to everyone. I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulties you have had with your family. Every child deserves to feel loved and cared for growing up, but unfortunately that is not always the case. Instead of feeling like a guest at your own wedding, take this opportunity to embrace the family you are joining and creating a new family with your FI.

  

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