Biological vs. Adopted Father

Re: Biological vs. Adopted Father

• indianaalum member

  

  August 2014

  Under the circumstances, I would have your adopted dad. Do what feels right to you.

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  August 2014

  I would have your adopted Dad walk you down the aisle. He's your dad legally and he raised you.

  
  

  You have no obligation to include the man that impregnated your mother. You don't get special privileges just because you share DNA with someone. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  August 2014

  Knottie51030385 said:

  My biological father has been quite absent from my life. I have no true memories of him, but am still in contact with him. My mother began dating another man after her divorce from my biological father when I was in 3rd grade. She started dating the man that would become my step father when I was in 5th grade. He has been my father figure ever since. In fact, when I turned 21, I asked him to adopt me, which he so graciously did. He was always meant to be my father. However, I am not newly engaged and am feeling guilt when in comes to the aisle walk. Seeing as my biological dad is still mildly present in my life I feel obligated to include him, however I have no desire to have him hand me off.

  
  

  Thoughts, suggestions??

  Have you considered walking alone?

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2014

  You bio-dad has no right to expect inclusion.  If you insist, he could be invited as a guest.
  

  

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• hanjoy member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  I am having my adoptive father walk me down the isle. I feel as though my bio dad and I have a friendship but not a father daughter relationship. I actually sat down and talked to him about it. I was very nervous to have that conversation but he did not give me a hard time and said he completely understood my decision. I know that not everyone will be as lucky as I was to have such and understanding bio dad but I do feel that honesty is always the best way to go about things like this. 

  
  

  I have been at weddings where the bio dad walks the bride half way down the isle and the adoptive/step father walks her the rest of the way.

  
  

  I've been at weddings where the bride's mother walks her down the isle and then the bride splits a father daughter dance with both fathers.

  
  

  There are lots of ways you can include both fathers  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  August 2014

  Serious question: Why are some people so concerned with their biological father getting butt hurt when they have a limited relationship with him, but have no problem not including their mother who is in their life and gave birth to her. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• chibiyui member

  

  August 2014

  Uh.......You asked your step-dad to legally adopt you. At that point, concerns for what your bio dad thinks kinda went out the window. 
  
  My step-dad walked me down the aisle. Don't worry about bio-dad, he's a big boy and he can deal with it. Or he's not a big boy and fuck him anyway.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  August 2014

  You can have anyone you like walk you down the aisle - bio Dad, Adopt Dad, Mom, Grandparent, Aunt, etc., or you can go alone. It's your choice and none are wrong if they are the correct choice for you. My SIL had both her bio Dad and step Dad walk her, one on each arm, but she has a great relationship with both.

  
  

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  August 2014 edited August 2014

  Evil Knot DP

  
  

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• BMoreBride6 member

  

  August 2014

  In my opinion, this man adopted you.  He is your father (not saying other step-fathers are not just as important if they do not adopt their step-children, but I feel like the fact that you asked him to do this and he did shows you have very little ties with bio dad).  Go with him! 

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• STARMOON44 member

  

  August 2014

  I think it would be nice to include your bio dad by inviting him. And if you really want to do more, seek him out for a dance together. Not a spotlight, just a spin round the floor like you'd have with anyone else who asked.

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• PnkBride member

  

  August 2014

  Your step dad adopted you. He is your father! He raised you, not your bio dad. He should have the honor to walk you down the isle. I am kind of stunned that you would even consider having your bio dad walk you down the isle. Invite bio dad to the wedding. That would be as far as I would go with him.  Your adopted dad, is your dad!

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