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Unexpected Guests - How to Handle?

suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member
100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I am not sure if this is an etiquette or 911 issue but I figured I'd start here!

We are having arranged tables/seating at our reception and now that we've verified all of our attendees I am going to be putting together escort cards, but I keep wondering - what if someone brings a +1 unexpectedly or what if someone who previously RSVP’d "no" shows up?? Should I have backup escort cards at the ceremony just in case?

Should we have an extra table decorated just in case?

or am I being completely irrational and something like this wouldn't happen? Any advice or experiences are appreciated!

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Re: Unexpected Guests - How to Handle?

  • ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderfulifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    If someone brings a crasher to my wedding hell no I'm not going out of my way to get them a seat so they can feel comfortable and welcome. Don't stress out over this. If someone who didn't RSVP just shows up that's rude on their part...that's what the RSVP was for after all. Do you have a wedding planner or coordinator? If someone does show up with a random guest it can be brought to the attention of one of the staff and they can add a chair and that person can feel awkward while they stand there waiting for their place setting to be added.

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I had a table our coordinator referred to as the "late for dinner table." I sat my vendors here and had a few extra seats in case someone showed up. While I would have been within my rights to turn them away, I didn't want to do that. I didn't have anyone extra show up. But it was worth it to have a table for the vendors to eat so they could get back to work quickly without having to eat on their lap or in the back room. Do not have backup escort cards - that's definitely over thinking it :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can't predict stuff like this.  We had a couple RSVP for just the two of them but bring their daughter (who was included on the invite, but not RSVPed for).  I honestly don't remember where they ended up sitting with her (I was a bit distracted), but it all seemed to work itself out fine.




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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    photokitty said:
    I had a table our coordinator referred to as the "late for dinner table." I sat my vendors here and had a few extra seats in case someone showed up. While I would have been within my rights to turn them away, I didn't want to do that. I didn't have anyone extra show up. But it was worth it to have a table for the vendors to eat so they could get back to work quickly without having to eat on their lap or in the back room. Do not have backup escort cards - that's definitely over thinking it :)
    We sat our vendors with our other guests, since they were friends of ours anyway. Our DJ didn't end up using his seat (he ate at his booth, which had plenty of room), but our photographer and 2nd shooter were so grateful that we provided them a real seat with a normal place-setting among people they knew with a safe place for them to keep their extra gear. Apparently, many of the events they've worked had no food or other provisions for them whatsoever!
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    HOLY CRAP I FORGOT TO ADD SEATS FOR VENDORS.

    Sigh...

    I dunno what I'd do without these forums sometimes. Thanks ladies... you saved me from a major panic the day of when I realized how rude I was to have forgotten them!

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    If someone RSVPs for 1 and then brings an unexpected guest, let them figure it out. Or split them up and seat the unexpected guest at the vendor table. If there's an extra meal, there's an extra meal. If they RSVP for 2 (and only 1 was invited), you need to follow up prior to the wedding. If you say nothing, you should host that extra person properly.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • vh2014vh2014 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I did my escort cards well in advance as well as wine markers on glasses (yes I know most of them will be left behind... so will my chargers and centerpieces and linens I bought, I'm viewing them as a table accessory. :) ).  Since then I have had 3 cancellations and 2 additions.  My paint pen, extra markers, and extra blank escort cards are packed in the boxes.  I've kept track and it isn't worth opening the boxes.  I did it mainly in case there was someone I missed though... not for extra guests.  I just figured that way I wouldn't be embarrassed with... crap! even though I triple counted I missed a line on my spreadsheet. 

    As for vendors- I was a photographer.  All the DJs seemed to eat at their booths so I sat our DJ right beside his booth.  Photographer and 2nd shooter have a seat... can't tell you how many weddings we stole a corner of the DJ's booth for our plates because there was no place setting for us. 


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    We had an unexpected guest.   The venue handled it.  We had some no shows so it didn't effect our bill.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    MissMaeisbeforeJune said:

    HOLY CRAP I FORGOT TO ADD SEATS FOR VENDORS.

    Sigh...

    I dunno what I'd do without these forums sometimes. Thanks ladies... you saved me from a major panic the day of when I realized how rude I was to have forgotten them!

    Don't freak out about this.  Ask your venue what they do for vendor seating.  Some venues have arrangements for photographer seating, etc.  Mine said the photographer could eat where ever she wants.  We didn't do a place card for her, but did inform the venue of her meal choice. Once you have figured it out with the venue, let the vendors know what the plan is. Our photographer indicated she would find at a table with a extra seat (we had several tables with an extra seat, because we had even numbers of seats at all tables due to decoration choices, but not every table had an even number of people at it). She found a seat and got her meal no problem.
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  • NymeruNymeru member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We had a table set for our vendors, but as there were more seats than vendors, we just set the whole table in case random people did show up...and some did!  It turned out to be a good thing, but thank goodness for my DOC.  She handled all last minute changes.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Our DJ ate at his booth, and the photographer ate by or at the bar (I think). We didn't do a table setting or anything for him, our coordinator knew we had 2 vendor meal, and they took care of it. 

    If you are not having a coordinator or doing most things yourself, then definitely have a seat for them somewhere.
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