Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP with no guest name.

We had some guests RSVP with a plus one but they only put their name on the RSVP but with 2 meal selections so obviously they are bringing someone. How do we go about making escort cards for these people if we don't know their names. Do we call that guest and ask their dates name or Do we just put on escort card "date of Jon doe" ?

Re: RSVP with no guest name.

  • Call John Doe up and ask him who he is bringing so you can prepare an escort card.
  • What if we have like a dozen or so people who did this? We call them all up? Some are distant relatives and haven't talked to them in years I feel it may be awkward. I am confused why they did not add the name to begin with.
  • Yep, call all of them. Otherwise, how else are you going to know? Unless you're psychic, in which case you wouldn't have posted this!
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  • I agree that if you invited them to your wedding you should feel comfortable calling them...unless they were specifically on a list of your parents' friends or something.  In that case, or in the case of them being distant relatives that your parents insisted on inviting but you barely know, i'd ask your parents to contact them.
  • Use the telephone. Or send them an email if you can't muster the courage to call them. But I really don't get why you'd invite them to the wedding if a simple "Hey Flo, you put a guest down, but didn't write their name. Who's your guest and how do they spell their name? Ok thanks, see you in a few weeks! Bye" is too intimidating...
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  • delujm0 said:
    I agree that if you invited them to your wedding you should feel comfortable calling them...unless they were specifically on a list of your parents' friends or something.  In that case, or in the case of them being distant relatives that your parents insisted on inviting but you barely know, i'd ask your parents to contact them.
    This.
  • You realize you and your FI (or your parents) are going to have to contact guests that don't RSVP, right? 


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  • Sorry didn't mention it is a relative my mother insisted I invite who I do not know well obviously why I would feel awkward calling her. I already called everyone who hasn't RSVPed it isn't about feeling weird calling all my guests but the ones who did this were invites of my mother and FMIL and don't know these people well.
  • Your mother or FMIL could call if they are truly their invites
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  • Yup, have your mother of FMIL call. If they're flaky or putting it off, you just have to suck it up and do it yourself. 
  • As an aside, depending on how you're doing your escort cards, you could do each social unit on one card. So one card would say "Mr. John Doe and guest", another could say "The Smith Family", etc. Of course, this doesn't work if you have to indicate the meal choices for each guest on the card. 
  • MandyMost said:
    As an aside, depending on how you're doing your escort cards, you could do each social unit on one card. So one card would say "Mr. John Doe and guest", another could say "The Smith Family", etc. Of course, this doesn't work if you have to indicate the meal choices for each guest on the card. 
    Yea Unfortunately we are doing meal choices on the escort cards. I just didn't know if i put say an escort card for "John Doe" and right next to his put "Guest of John Doe" was appriopriate or not. My mother told me that is what she did but she got married 30 years ago.
  • Lhilb630 said:
    MandyMost said:
    As an aside, depending on how you're doing your escort cards, you could do each social unit on one card. So one card would say "Mr. John Doe and guest", another could say "The Smith Family", etc. Of course, this doesn't work if you have to indicate the meal choices for each guest on the card. 
    Yea Unfortunately we are doing meal choices on the escort cards. I just didn't know if i put say an escort card for "John Doe" and right next to his put "Guest of John Doe" was appriopriate or not. My mother told me that is what she did but she got married 30 years ago.
    only do this as a last resort if you, your FI, your mom, or your FMIL can't get a hold of them, or if they don't yet know who they're bringing.  Really try to get the name if you possibly can.
  • We had to make some calls to clarify RSVPs. No big deal. "Hi, Guest. I'm glad you are able to come to our wedding. I see you plan to bring someone with you. Can I get that person's name so I can make an escort card for them? Thank you!" Easy-peasy. You can do it or ask the family member who invited the guest to do it if you don't know them.
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  • Wait a minute. In this threads you're saying that people have rsvpd for guests without names (+1s) but in your other thread, you make it very clear that you don't want people bringing +1s. Which one is it?
  • Lhilb630Lhilb630 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited August 2014
      adk19 said:
    Lhilb630 said:
    MandyMost said:
    As an aside, depending on how you're doing your escort cards, you could do each social unit on one card. So one card would say "Mr. John Doe and guest", another could say "The Smith Family", etc. Of course, this doesn't work if you have to indicate the meal choices for each guest on the card. 
    Yea Unfortunately we are doing meal choices on the escort cards. I just didn't know if i put say an escort card for "John Doe" and right next to his put "Guest of John Doe" was appriopriate or not. My mother told me that is what she did but she got married 30 years ago.
    only do this as a last resort if you, your FI, your mom, or your FMIL can't get a hold of them, or if they don't yet know who they're bringing.  Really try to get the name if you possibly can.
     

    Thanks for the help. Glad i didn't just listen to my mother and put "guest of John Doe" etc. My Mother, FMIL, and I called the guest today that did that and were very apologetic for that never crossing their minds to put their SO name. Thanks for everyone’s help!!


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