Wedding Etiquette Forum

I need to share this...

I've been a lurker here for a while now, but I feel I need to share my cousin's whole wedding story, as it it riddled with etiquette errors, and also just some unfortunate mishaps.

My cousin and his gf decided to elope a few years back.  This alone isn't a huge deal, they were both 18-21 years old.  They both, however, lived with their parents, neither one making enough money to support themselves.  Also, the gf lived in Mexico and had just been visiting with my cousin.  Whatever, marriage makes the immigration process easier, and they've since found jobs and she's learned the language.  This is where it gets interesting, though.

The gf (now wife) is very close to her family, so after they announce they're already married, wife says she wants a "real" wedding with her family in Mexico.  Her family doesn't have much money, neither did she and my cousin, but they just had to have this whole big thing in another country, so my aunt and uncle graciously offer to pay. 

Cut to "the wedding," she's in a wedding gown, there's a bridal party (including myself), a full-blown wedding cake, and all the trappings of a wedding reception.  They also did a reenactment of the wedding vows themselves, with some Mexican traditions thrown in, but acted as though this was their first time taking vows.  The whole thing was kind of a shit show.  The officiant, who needed to travel to the ceremony from OOT was late, the alcohol for the reception was supposed to have been supplied by one of bride's uncles, but on the day of he said he wouldn't be coming, and basically 3/4 of her family just didn't show.  

After the wedding, my cousin proceeded to hound my mother (indirectly though other family members) for a wedding gift.  Needless to say she and my dad didn't ever give them one. My mom, dad, brother, and myself were the only ones who went to the PPD of outside of his immediate family.  My brother and I were 12 and 15, so my parents paid for our outfits for the wedding and our travel in addition to their own, just to support my cousin, that should have been gift enough.  

To top it all off they celebrate their PPD anniversary as their actual wedding anniversary.

Re: I need to share this...

  • Well they are certainly a lesson in what not to do! Please tell me they they have matured a bit and lost some of the entitlement.......
  • Ugh. Why do people do this?

    Woof.
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  • Story time!

    My parents got married when mom was 18, and dad was 22.  Mom had moved here w/her parents only a year earlier, but her dad was getting transferred out of state.  So, mom was 18 which meant she could stay behind (first time on her own, working but not college education at that point) or she could go with her family.

    She and dad were just sooooo in love.  So, she decided to stay.  Grandpa (her dad) offered to help her pay rent so that she and my dad could shack up.  They were like, "nope, we want to get married."

    So, in a matter of weeks/a couple months, my mom planned a wedding that was held at other grandma's (dad's mom) house.   They did an off-time wedding with heavy apps and desserts for the reception.  No booze allowed at grandma's house, so it was dry, but still with other drinks.

    I don't know why the fuck anyone thinks they're entitled to be assholes because they're poor.  Guess what?  Money and etiquette are not intertwined!




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  • banana468 said:

    If only others knew that it's foolish to travel to Mexico for a big sham do over...

    Oh snap!!! :)
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  • rubyotter217rubyotter217 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited August 2014
    banana468 said:

    If only others knew that it's foolish to travel to Mexico for a big sham do over...

    The way it was presented, my parents thought it would be a nice little vacation, since my parents don't vacation at all really. Little did they know the whole thing would be so stressful.

    Plus, my elderly grandparents wanted to go, and my dad wanted to make sure they wouldn't have any issues getting around.

    ETA: quote
  • Interesting story. If this happened when you were 15, then presumably it was quite a few years ago. It's time to let it go now, IMHO.
  • @NYCMercedes‌ yes, it was about 7 years ago, at this point it's just a funny story I thought I would share
  • It's funny, we're getting married outside the US (in 5 days! O_O) and it's amazing the number of people who assume we've already gone to the courthouse or who have asked "When are you getting married here?"

    We went to great lengths to ensure we'd have a legal marriage at our destination! If we'd wanted to get married here we would have done it and saved ourselves a lot of time and logistical run-around.

    I realize that a lot of it comes from just not understanding the process, but I certainly wouldn't travel 3500 miles to pretend to get married.
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