May 2015 Weddings

Ceremony!

Hey ladies! So, since we have our reception venue booked, we're focusing on the ceremony. How many of you are getting married at your reception venue vs. a church/chapel/outside/etc... ?

My fiance and I are not religious people, so there isn't an obvious ceremony site for us.  We'd LOVE to get married outside under a tree or something like that, but May in Massachusetts can either be a washout or absolutely gorgeous. I am not convinced that I should be taking such a risk! I've been searching for places that have a lovely garden but if it rains, we could easily move indoors. I've also been looking at Unitarian churches because they will let us have cart blanche with the ceremony structure and will allow us to pick who marries us.  Any thoughts? Any suggestions? I'd also love to hear your ideas for your own weddings!!

Cheers!

Re: Ceremony!

  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We are getting married at our reception venue. We are in NYC and our venue is at the Boathouse in Central Park. Not sure how familiar you are with it, but the Boathouse is a restaurant, and one section is a dedicated venue. It has floor to ceiling windows, and we will be getting married indoors in front of the windows. The Boathouse has an English garden which leads to the lake and will serve as the cocktail hour, as well as more mingling space during the reception. I really wanted an outdoor venue, but the weather in NYC is very crazy. I love our venue because while we will be getting married indoors, it has a very outdoors feel with the floor to ceiling windows. And if  -worst case scenario -  it rains or something, then everything can be held indoors. I would suggest a venue like that for its versatility.

    Also, if you want specific venue suggestions you can try posting on your local board.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    We're also getting married at our reception location, and also not very religious.  Our venue has an outdoor lawn with a little arch where they do ceremonies, so we'll just use that.  If it rains, we'll be inside looking out the windows toward Manhattan.

    Fi's family is Catholic though, and his grandfather was REALLY upset when he heard we aren't having a Catholic wedding.  I think we will get a nondenominational pastor or somebody like that to officiate, at least so there is a religious aspect to the wedding. But nope, sorry Nonno..... not Catholic and never will be.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • @JCBride2014--that sounds like it will be lovely!! Yeah, I know what you mean about the Catholic ceremony. My fiance and I were both raised Catholic but have long since left the church. Definitely not having the Catholic ceremony. Thankfully our families understand and are not putting any pressure on us to have a wicked religious ceremony.  I just wish I could have it outside!

    @pinkcow13, that's a good idea. I think I'll check in on my local boards for some advice on some locations that have outdoor and indoor places to get married!
  • We also knew that we would not be getting married in a church and that we would like to have an outdoor ceremony so we purposely looked for venues that would accommodate an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception. I think it makes more sense financially and logistically to have it all in one place.

     

    Also, I totally understand the Catholic pressure. FIL's are not happy that we're not getting married in the church. 

    cmarr684
  • I am just totally nervous about the fact that it could rain, and if we didn't have a backup indoor venue, we'd be screwed. I never thought this would be the hardest part of planning a wedding haha!
  • I am just totally nervous about the fact that it could rain, and if we didn't have a backup indoor venue, we'd be screwed. I never thought this would be the hardest part of planning a wedding haha!
    I had the same fear of rain. I'm in the Pacific Northwest and the chances of rain in May are pretty high. That's why I was so excited that the outdoor area at my venue is a covered courtyard. Also, most venues with outdoor ceremony areas do usually have back up plans in case of bad weather. I'd just make sure to ask any venues what they normally do if it happens to be raining.
  • Looks like I am in the minority. Our ceremony will take place in a Catholic church. It means a lot to us. Maybe because we were both raised Catholic, I am not sure why everyone dreads the Catholic wedding. I have gotten negative comments when I tell people that we are getting married in a church.
  • Hi Galzkicm, we too are having a Catholic Ceremony.  Don't listen to any negativity the ceremony is for you and our fiance, so enjoy it and make sure it is everything you want it to be.  :-)  As a guest I love all ceremonies no matter what type since it is so personal to that couple.

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    galzkicm
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
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    @galzkicm I'm sorry people are having negative reactions to your church wedding.  Of course if you were both raised Catholic, you are having a Catholic wedding!

    I am not Catholic, so I have obvious negative feelings toward a Catholic ceremony for my own wedding.  Just like I'm sure you would not want a Jewish or Islamic ceremony.
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    cmarr684
  • cmarr684cmarr684 member
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    edited March 2014
    We are getting married at the ceremony. Both are families are Roman Catholic and I had 8 years of Catholic school, but my fiance is agnostic and while I consider myself Christian, I'm definitely not Catholic and we don't go to church so there's no way we could have gone through pre-cana.

    My parents obviously took it kinda hard (more my mom), and my grandfather who is a deacon in the Catholic church.

    But I honestly couldn't give a damn about pissing them off anymore, since they are seriously ridiculous (for example when my fiance stays over my parents house he has to sleep on the floor)...but that's ANOTHER story...

    ANYWAYS, I still wanted to have God in our ceremony so I found a Lutheran minister, because I didn't want a non-denominational one. Parents seem appeased and I'm getting what I want.

     
  • So glad I am not the only one here who was feeling the Catholic pressure. I swear, sometimes it feels like I am the only one that still has to argue about religion with their family.
    JCbride2015
  • I did not mean to offend Catholics with this post, that was certainly not my intention at all! There is nothing wrong with Catholic ceremonies. My fiance and I just want to have a little more control over how the ceremony goes, that is all. We prefer for have non-biblical readings, our own friends as musicians singing non-church music etc. 

    @cmarr684--ditto on the fiance sleeping over BS. Mine has to sleep in the basement. My parents aren't even religious!!! fml haha!
  • Hi Lindseyfera, no offense taken at all.  I was just letting Galzkicm know that she wasn't the only one going the church route.  I think the 'negative comments' she was referring to were not on this board but from her guests in general.  
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  • @lindseyfera—So glad I am not the only one :) LOL
    yogablossom
  • I was not offended on this board! I was just surprised that when I posted I was one of the few going this route. I am definitely getting negative comments in general. The ceremony is the most important part of the day! Everyone has to do what is right for them.
  • We are getting married at the reception location...I went to Catholic school my entire life, but don't consider myself to be a "good Catholic" (my grandma's words). Fi is kinda Lutheran kinda Christian, haha. We want to incorporate religion into the ceremony, but it obviously won't be Catholic. 

    Funny how people give you a "look" when you tell them it's a Catholic ceremony. They're beautiful. I will only be the second to not get married in the church, so I'm feeling the heat, especially from older family members
  • I fee like if you don't go to church regularly, why run to church to get married? What's the point? Have the wedding that reflects you and your fiance!!

    My fiance and I are very religious (and we too will be getting married in the Roman Catholic Church) and our ceremony will reflect us and our vision of what we want our marriage to be. I also happen to LOVE outdoor weddings, I find Hindu ceremonies beautiful, and I cry at heartfelt, handwritten vows/ceremonies. The most beautiful, meaningful ceremonies will reflect the couple and be able to be felt by the entire congregation of guests!

     I think it's silly to pressure anyone into a religious ceremony if that's not what they want. In my family it's unthinkable to get married anywhere else but in a Catholic ceremony, and I have many cousins who run to church to get married and never go again until they have a baby. I think that's wrong too.

    There are so many beautiful places to have a wedding! There is an art museum in the area that I've been to a wedding in their gardens. A wedding I stood up in was at a wedding chapel, it was pretty, intimate, and sweet! There was a time in college when I wasn't as into my faith as I am now ("I'm spiritual, not religious") and I wanted to get married in this state park called "Cathedral of the Pines." So many options to express your marriage :)
    yogablossom
  • We are also not particularly religious and we are having our ceremony at our reception venue as well (we are getting married at a winery in Sonoma). The ceremony will be set up on one part of the property, cocktail hour will be in another place, and then the reception space will be a different spot as well, so each space will look and feel different without having to actually go anywhere. 
  • My fiancé and I are not religious either so we are having our ceremony and reception all in one place. We are planning to have the ceremony on a dock that is right next the venue. Our officiant is an interfaith minister. We are doing a Celtic hand fasting ceremony and ending with an Irish blessing. Since we are both Irish, it is more important to us to incorporate our heritage than anything else.
    yogablossom
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
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    FI and I are having a secular ceremony on-site. We're going to ask FI's dad to officiate :-)image
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  • @MrsKatieBrown - we've decided to do a handfasting too!!! :)
    MrsKatieBrown
  • We're both very religious, but I'm Protestant and FI is Catholic.  We're going to get married in the church where I grew up (my Mom is the music minister, and we've been there for 22 years-it's where I was baptized and where both of my sisters were married), but make sure we go through all the appropriate channels for the marriage to be recognized by the Catholic church. (From the research I've done, we'll have to apply for a "Dispensation from Form" in order to be married in the Protestant Church, but we shouldn't have to do much more than that because I've been baptized.  I'm still looking into this though--have an appointment to speak to a priest in a few weeks.)

    I'm looking forward to planning the ceremony most out of any other part of the wedding, actually.  It's going to be traditional but meaningful, which is a total reflection of us as a couple.
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