Ceremony Start Time

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Hello ladies!

I am having a Friday wedding because of the budget and i'm still in the early stages of planning so be nice please

It would be next year in October.

Most of my guests live here in Jacksonville where we're having the wedding and i would definitely give them enough notice in advance that it's a Friday.

My question to you all is: What time should we start the ceremony?

Our reception with cocktail hour, dinner and dancing is in a location that is about 7-10 minutes away from the chapel.

I was thinking:

5:30-ceremony

6:00-7:00 cocktail hour

7-11 dinner, dancing, cake, etc.

Any ideas would be appreciated! Thank you ladies

lurkergirl · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

Hello ladies!
I am having a Friday wedding because of the budget and i'm still in the early stages of planning so be nice please
It would be next year in October.
Most of my guests live here in Jacksonville where we're having the wedding and i would definitely give them enough notice in advance that it's a Friday.
My question to you all is: What time should we start the ceremony?
Our reception with cocktail hour, dinner and dancing is in a location that is about 7-10 minutes away from the chapel.
I was thinking:
5:30-ceremony
6:00-7:00 cocktail hour
7-11 dinner, dancing, cake, etc.
Any ideas would be appreciated! Thank you ladies

Personally, I think 5:30 is too early for a Friday wedding. Your friends and family love you, but they also love their paychecks. They will have to leave work early, and while advance notice is nice, it doesn't change the situation, KWIM?

It's rush hour time, people will want to probably change clothes and get dolled up, so there's no way they can really spend a full day at work.

If you do go with 5:30, I would say you risk low attendance and some side-eyeing from guests/potential guests.

I really think 7:00 is best, but even 6:30 would still be better than 5:30. Can move everything up an hour so you have the ceremony at 6:30 and then have everything end at midnight?

(Disclaimer: I still think 6:30 is pushing it, but it's a lot better than 5:30)

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Thank you ladies.

Most of the people on our lists will have already taken the day off to be there.

I think 6 may be pretty good as well.

I just do not want to serve dinner so late, because i know people complain about that and i don't want to starve them! haha

banana468 · August 2014

Personally, I think it's fine. Yes guests will need to leave work early but they'll need to do that anyway with most evening weddings. Most Friday weddings I've attended start by 4:00 and they had a majority of the guests attend.

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Thanks banana468

My only worry about having it any later is lighting for pictures after the ceremony.

In October the sun sets around 7 pm and we're doing a First Look but i know we'll want pictures after they announce as husband and wife!!!

Also for family formals if need be.

tammym1001 · August 2014

The Friday weddings I've attended have all started at 5:00. It was never an issue for me but there were definitely a lot of people who missed the ceremony. Not everyone can just leave work early so as long as you're ok with that then I think you're fine.

MyNameIsNot · August 2014

Push it to at least 6:30, preferably 7.

I was just talking with a friend who got married at 6 on a Friday, 5 years ago. She mentioned that it's still her biggest wedding regret because nearly half the guest list got stuck in rush hour traffic and missed her ceremony.

Even assuming people can and will leave work early to get to your 5:30 ceremony, it's a difficult time to get from point A to point B anywhere that isn't rural.

PineapplePopsicles · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

Thanks banana468
My only worry about having it any later is lighting for pictures after the ceremony.
In October the sun sets around 7 pm and we're doing a First Look but i know we'll want pictures after they announce as husband and wife!!!
Also for family formals if need be.

Take as many pictures as you can before the ceremony. Don't inconvenience your guests because you want more pictures.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

PineapplePopsicles said:

MrsGaiser15 said:

Thanks banana468
My only worry about having it any later is lighting for pictures after the ceremony.
In October the sun sets around 7 pm and we're doing a First Look but i know we'll want pictures after they announce as husband and wife!!!
Also for family formals if need be.

Take as many pictures as you can before the ceremony. Don't inconvenience your guests because you want more pictures.

This. And if you have a professional photographer that you trust then they will certainly be able to take beautiful pictures even after the sun sets.

Viczaesar · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

Thank you ladies.
Most of the people on our lists will have already taken the day off to be there.
I think 6 may be pretty good as well.
I just do not want to serve dinner so late, because i know people complain about that and i don't want to starve them! haha

Didn't you say in your OP that most of the guests live in the same town as the ceremony and reception?

Viczaesar · August 2014

I wouldn't even try to make it to a 5:30 Friday ceremony. I'd be heading straight to the reception.

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

So if i push it back for those guests, what time would you say?

I just was trying not to serve dinner so late on a Friday especially if people have been at work all day.

We have 2 photographers so i'm sure that they'll be able to get everything done quick even with our first look and lots of pictures before.

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Honestly i'll probably leave it where it is because all that matters for the ceremony is me and future hubby, his family, my family, our close friends and the officiant. I know the people that will really want to be there will do so even if they have to leave work a little early. It's a wedding not just a normal birthday party or event. I understand it's not the ideal Saturday wedding but doing it on a Friday will save us about $1,000 and we're paying for it alone. The most we'll have at the wedding is 75 guests. I would say 50 of those are family who live out of state so they will already be off.

Thanks anyway!

kmmssg · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

Honestly i'll probably leave it where it is because all that matters for the ceremony is me and future hubby, his family, my family, our close friends and the officiant. I know the people that will really want to be there will do so even if they have to leave work a little early. It's a wedding not just a normal birthday party or event. I understand it's not the ideal Saturday wedding but doing it on a Friday will save us about $1,000 and we're paying for it alone. The most we'll have at the wedding is 75 guests. I would say 50 of those are family who live out of state so they will already be off.
Thanks anyway!

True story regarding the bold: back in 2005 my 18 yo stepdd decided to get married and had her wedding at 5 pm on a Friday, in the capital city of our state. In May - that is officially road construction season here so that caused problems on its own. These things occured:

1. My oldest DD had gotten married 3 months prior to stepdd and was in a probationary period of a new job. They were incredibly kind about giving her 3 days off for her own wedding but she was absolutely unable to attend the stepdd's wedding because she could not get the time off. Of course she wanted to be there, but her employer said it wasn't an option.

2. She has 3 aunts who are school teachers and they all have contratual clauses that there is NO PTO in May. Those 3 aunts and uncles wanted to attend but could not because of the 5 pm start time.

3. She had 2 aunts on the other side of the state who did not feel it was a good decision to pull their kids out of school to attend a wedding. They wanted to attend but felt it wasn't in their kids best interest.

The bolded above is not a realistic way to approach this. A wedding is an event on a social calendar - not the end all be all. The invitation is just that, it is not a summons. If attending a wedding doesn't work for us we decline and send a gift. We don't lose sleep because we didn't attend, nor should we.

I REALLY encourage you to move things to 6:30. My other stepdd had a Friday evening 6:30 wedding in the same town, same month, and all those who couldn't attend her sister's wedding were able to attend hers because it was later. She did all of her pics prior to the wedding and her guests had cocktail hour at 7:15, dinner at 8:15. No one was starving because of the apps at cocktail hour and it really did work quite well.

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

That's what i mean though, I know with picking a Friday we will lose some guests. But i'm sure they'll do what you said. Declining and sending a gift. We don't have alot of guests with children. Even with the ones that do they will be done with school around 3 on a Friday at the latest 3:30. I think the latest i would do is 6 because our cocktail hour will just have fruits and cheese. For our budget we can't afford do lots of apps. Our guest list are not just acquaitances. They are very very close friends and family who we've talked with them about our time and day. They all said they will make arrangements to be there. Even if people can't make it to the ceremony but show to the reception i would still be happy they came. I talked with my coordinator at the reception venues and she was very discouraging of starting it later than 6. The ceremony i mean.

mheller300 · August 2014

5:30 start time is fine for a Friday night. Just be sure to send out info as early as possible to guests. I went to a Friday night wedding last year and basically I had to just take a half day. It wasn't a big deal at all. My Fiance was in the wedding and had to take the entire day off obviously. If you push it back any further people will be starving and you will most likely feel like you are rushing through the night. You're only getting married once. People who deserve to be there will make it work.

PineapplePopsicles · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

That's what i mean though, I know with picking a Friday we will lose some guests. But i'm sure they'll do what you said. Declining and sending a gift. We don't have alot of guests with children. Even with the ones that do they will be done with school around 3 on a Friday at the latest 3:30. I think the latest i would do is 6 because our cocktail hour will just have fruits and cheese. For our budget we can't afford do lots of apps. Our guest list are not just acquaitances. They are very very close friends and family who we've talked with them about our time and day. They all said they will make arrangements to be there. Even if people can't make it to the ceremony but show to the reception i would still be happy they came. I talked with my coordinator at the reception venues and she was very discouraging of starting it later than 6. The ceremony i mean.

It sounds like you're hoping some people will decline and send gifts. I hope that isn't the case.

When i was a kid, i came home from school sticky, stinky, tired, hungry, dirty, whiny, etc. You've got to factor in time for those kids to get ready/dressed/cleaned up/etc, so "school gets out at 3" isn't necessarily a great argument. You're cutting it close.

Your wedding is NEXT October and you've already had people commit to being there??

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Thank you mheller! It sounds like you understand exactly where i'm coming from! Pineapple, i wasn't expecting that i was just agreeing with another commenter about it. I never really thought about what she said. Everyone just assumes I'll have kids at my wedding but I'm not having a flower girl and people on our list either have teenagers or have already joked saying they'll find a babysitter since there will be drinking at our wedding. Yes it may sound crazy but because our wedding has been restricted to close friends and family they have already said they will be there. No matter what, not everyone can be pleased especially people on here.

JennyColada · August 2014

I think that 5 is ok, but I think that 6-6:30 is better. Eating dinner at 8pm, while late, isn't really HORRIBLE, especially since you'd have snacks at cocktail hour, so really I'd start eating around 7:15, which is about usual for dining out on a weekend anyway.

caitlinmca · August 2014

I know this is a different date, but I'm doing a Saturday evening wedding, our guests are arriving at 530 PM with our ceremony starting at 6PM to 6:30 PM and cocktail to follow. We are having a first look with our entire bridal party and parents before the ceremony and we only have 1 photographer then we will have just a few photos to take afterwards. Dinner is set to start around 7:30 PM.

On a Friday night, if you can swing just that extra half hr for your guests to arrive they will thank you, that extra half hr, if you decide to have a first look, you could potentially have more than half of your photos done before your guests arrive and only leaving a few photos after the ceremony is over with.

MrsGaiser15 · August 2014

Thanks ladies, I really think starting at 6 is comfortable since the reception is about 10 mins away. More like 5 but 10 at the most. So they won't get stuck in traffic on the way to the reception because it's really down the street and around the corner.

Viczaesar · August 2014

MrsGaiser15 said:

Honestly i'll probably leave it where it is because all that matters for the ceremony is me and future hubby, his family, my family, our close friends and the officiant. I know the people that will really want to be there will do so even if they have to leave work a little early. It's a wedding not just a normal birthday party or event. I understand it's not the ideal Saturday wedding but doing it on a Friday will save us about $1,000 and we're paying for it alone. The most we'll have at the wedding is 75 guests. I would say 50 of those are family who live out of state so they will already be off.
Thanks anyway!

That is not a fair expectation to put on people.

Viczaesar · August 2014

caitlinmca said:

I know this is a different date, but I'm doing a Saturday evening wedding, our guests are arriving at 530 PM with our ceremony starting at 6PM to 6:30 PM and cocktail to follow. We are having a first look with our entire bridal party and parents before the ceremony and we only have 1 photographer then we will have just a few photos to take afterwards. Dinner is set to start around 7:30 PM. On a Friday night, if you can swing just that extra half hr for your guests to arrive they will thank you, that extra half hr, if you decide to have a first look, you could potentially have more than half of your photos done before your guests arrive and only leaving a few photos after the ceremony is over with.

I don't understand this timeline. How do you know they'll be arriving at 5:30 if the ceremony doesn't start until 6?

Viczaesar · August 2014

mheller300 said:

5:30 start time is fine for a Friday night. Just be sure to send out info as early as possible to guests. I went to a Friday night wedding last year and basically I had to just take a half day. It wasn't a big deal at all. My Fiance was in the wedding and had to take the entire day off obviously. If you push it back any further people will be starving and you will most likely feel like you are rushing through the night. You're only getting married once. People who deserve to be there will make it work.

A lot of people don't have that kind of freedom in their jobs, and a lot of people can't afford to take off half a day unpaid or use half a day of vacation time to attend a wedding. And I really, really loathe the mindset behind the last line.

caitlinmca · August 2014

Viczaesar said:

caitlinmca said:

I know this is a different date, but I'm doing a Saturday evening wedding, our guests are arriving at 530 PM with our ceremony starting at 6PM to 6:30 PM and cocktail to follow. We are having a first look with our entire bridal party and parents before the ceremony and we only have 1 photographer then we will have just a few photos to take afterwards. Dinner is set to start around 7:30 PM. On a Friday night, if you can swing just that extra half hr for your guests to arrive they will thank you, that extra half hr, if you decide to have a first look, you could potentially have more than half of your photos done before your guests arrive and only leaving a few photos after the ceremony is over with.

I don't understand this timeline. How do you know they'll be arriving at 5:30 if the ceremony doesn't start until 6?

Well our venue is gated (private family estate that is leased to our caterer) so the soonest that they can arrive is 5:30 obviously guests don't have to come at 5:30 and most often times don't show up until 5-10 minutes before hand but 5:30 PM is when they would be allowed to start coming onto the property. Most of our guests are from OOT and my family tends to arrive early for everything. We get our venue from 6 PM until midnight, and our venue is allowing our guests to start arriving 1/2 hr early thus because it is a privately owned gated facility if people show up earlier than 5:30 there will be no gate attendant to let people through so our facility advised us to let our guests know that gates would be open starting at 5:30.

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