Why did I even try?

BreMR · September 2014

So, little back story.. I'm getting married in Mexico and also frequent a message board (bestdestinationweddings.com) mostly to keep tabs on the resort I'm getting married in. I made the silly mistake of checking out the etiquette and of course a topic labeled "legal ceremony before your DW wedding" or something along the lines. It's a DISASTER in there. Every. Single. Bride. (at least from what I skimmed) is getting married prior to their destination wedding. I simply replied that I was not, even though it'd save me money I was expecting people to spend a lot of money to come see me get married, not have a vow renewal.

I got called judgmental, and someone else called out the knot and said everyone here is HORRIBLE about the PPD.

Clearly this BDW is a lost cause on PPD's.... and I will bathe myself in the light of TK and proper etiquette.

JCbride2015 · September 2014

Ugh. I often find that people who are so quick to scream judgmental are those who are most afraid of being judged because they know they are doing something wrong. They jump to defensiveness because something feels off about what they are doing. Sounds like you only talked about yourself, not others, nothing judgmental about that.

Just stay here! Where it's warm and bright and [mostly] where Knotties don't lie to their guests!

WinstonsGirl · September 2014

I hate how so many people use their DW as an excuse to not get legally married there. We did Hawaii, and I took off 2 days of work (no pay, no pension, plus I had to pay $300/day to my supply teacher) cos we needed to get there before the weekend to get our license (We got married on a Monday, also a State Holiday). Sure it would have been cheaper to show up on Saturday but we refused to ask everyone to fly down there to not see us get married. It was very important to us to do it at the ceremony.

BreMR · September 2014

Agh, thanks ladies! If it's so effin' difficult to get married legally AT your wedding, then make alternate plans.

We're going to be spending close to $1,000 extra to get married legally in Mexico, but it was part of our budget right from the get go. I'll admit, before the knot I considered it... but I was taught the right way when I came here. I was hoping I could shed the same light on the ladies over there....

BreMR · September 2014

WinstonsGirl said:

I hate how so many people use their DW as an excuse to not get legally married there. We did Hawaii, and I took off 2 days of work (no pay, no pension, plus I had to pay $300/day to my supply teacher) cos we needed to get there before the weekend to get our license (We got married on a Monday, also a State Holiday). Sure it would have been cheaper to show up on Saturday but we refused to ask everyone to fly down there to not see us get married. It was very important to us to do it at the ceremony.

SITB:

Yes! We have to arrive 4 business days prior to our wedding for legal purposes, again.. something we're planning for.

RebeccaFlower · September 2014

I just felt so "in the moment" (I know, it makes me gag too) at our ceremony that I can't imagine doing the legal part before and doing a reenactment, I just can't. It makes me sad for people that they won't (can't) get that genuinely.

BreMR · September 2014

@rebeccaflower I 100% agree...granted I am not married yet but that is the moment I absolutely cannot wait for.

Jells2dot0 · September 2014

It's all about entitlement. Brides want to get married on a pretty beach in a tropical paradise but don't want to follow the location's process because it's "too complicated." I knew it would cost a little more to have a legal wedding overseas, but that's what I signed up for when I made my plans. It was worth every cent.

raissyrais · September 2014

BreMR darling, you stay right here with us honey, we pearl-clutcher-PPD-hating biatches have your back. You've done us proud!

BreMR · September 2014

Knottie37373131 · September 2014

I would not be going to Jamaica if we were no legally getting married there. I just do not understand the point of getting legally married before we go. It just would not be the same on our "wedding day" in Jamaica. I want the date on my legal certificate to be the day I walked down the isle and will want to remember forever. People keep asking me if I am going to go to the courthouse before we leave. I say no, we sent in out paperwork to do it legally months ago. . .

sophhabobopha · September 2014

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

You try because you want to do the right thing

I think youre a great fit for this board. Though I do think you need to creep the PPD board you go on for shits n' giggles and report back anything juicy

Junebug2015 · September 2014

I'm not doing this, but I'm curious. Is the etiquette view the same if the couple files the legal paperwork AFTER they get back? I have acquaintances who mentioned that nothing about their ceremony was legal. They needed a three-day waiting period after getting their marriage license and just never bothered to do it before the ceremony. This was for a wedding where they lived, so it was essentially only about laziness, not about DW convenience. Is this the same etiquette problem as the PPDs mentioned above? And, REALLY, you're too lazy to just drop by city hall to get it done? The requirements in our state are so easy to meet, you'd think they could take an hour out of their day and knock it out since they live here. Ugh.

RebeccaFlower · September 2014

Junebug2015 said:

I'm not doing this, but I'm curious. Is the etiquette view the same if the couple files the legal paperwork AFTER they get back? I have acquaintances who mentioned that nothing about their ceremony was legal. They needed a three-day waiting period after getting their marriage license and just never bothered to do it before the ceremony. This was for a wedding where they lived, so it was essentially only about laziness, not about DW convenience. Is this the same etiquette problem as the PPDs mentioned above? And, REALLY, you're too lazy to just drop by city hall to get it done? The requirements in our state are so easy to meet, you'd think they could take an hour out of their day and knock it out since they live here. Ugh.

@junebug2015 I don't think it makes a difference if it's before or after. It's still (probably) lying to guests and not a legitimate ceremony.

thisismynickname2 · September 2014

During a fit of daydreaminess I looked up the requirements to get married in Mexico, and it didn't look that hard. It appears that resorts with wedding packages go to the extra mile to educate couples on what they need to do.

A former coworker did a legal ceremony here about a week before they had a DW in Punta Cana, and then they had an AHR. I remember looking at the pictures on Facebook and thinking, "What was the point of dragging everyone to PC to watch the ceremony?" She posted pictures from everything; the legal ceremony before the trip wasn't a secret.

I'm really not into group vacations. I'd have just attended the AHR to congratulate them on their marriage.

beethery · September 2014

sophhabobopha said:

Y'all better lutch you pearls all day lol

Why did I even try?

Re: Why did I even try?

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