Timeline for 2 ceremonies

Re: Timeline for 2 ceremonies

• holyguacamole79 member

  

  September 2014

  behsco90 said:

  My FI and I will be having two ceremonies, on the same day.  First ceremony will be a Catholic ceremony in his church at 2pm, about 30-45 minutes long, and the second ceremony will be a nikah (Persian wedding ceremony) at the reception venue.  The reception venue is about 20 minutes from the church.
  
  My question is, when should the second ceremony start?  I don't think it should start 20 minutes later, since not everyone will show up right away.  Should I host some small food and drink for people that arrive quickly and have to wait (like a mini-cocktail half hour)?  Should I have cocktail hour in between the two ceremonies, instead of after the 2nd?  Or should it just start once everyone has arrived?  I'm really not sure how to make this work.  Obviously I don't want there to be a gap, but it's unreasonable to think all 250 some guests will arrive at the same time.
  
  Thanks ladies!
  

  
  I'm genuinely curious, and mean no disrespect. Why are you having two ceremonies? I assume you and your FI both want to honor your cultural / faith backgrounds. 

  
  

   And, again, no disrespect - are you expecting your guests to come to 2 ceremonies?

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• slothiegal member

  

  September 2014

  I need more info before commenting.

  

  
  

  
  

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• behsco90 member

  

  September 2014

  Yes, FI is Catholic, I am not.  My family is from the Middle East, and traditionally have a nikah ceremony.
  

  
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  September 2014

  I would host a mini-cocktail party before the other ceremony. Maybe start it 45 minutes later.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  September 2014

  I give this one an OK.  You need to ask your FILS what is traditional in their culture and make plans to please them.  They will be able to tell you what is expected.   Do try to keep it as short as possible out of consideration for your guests who are not from their culture.
  

  

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• behsco90 member

  

  September 2014

  Thanks ladies. @CMGragain the Catholic ceremony will be outside of mass (and FILs know this), since I am not Catholic, so it will be a bit shorter, and the nikah should only be 20 minutes or so. I think for both ceremonies I will have a program that gives an overview of them so both sides of the family will be able to follow along.

  
  

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  September 2014

  I agree with a cocktail hour. I'm just curious - which of these two ceremonies will be the legally binding one? And does the other celebrant know about the other ceremony?

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  September 2014

  sarahbear31 said:

  I agree with a cocktail hour. I'm just curious - which of these two ceremonies will be the legally binding one? And does the other celebrant know about the other ceremony?

  Does it really matter?   They are happening on the same day.   All the same guests are attending.

  
  

    I think this is a case where we take the PPD, 2 ceremonies thing a little too far.  People who get legally married months or even years before I really side-eye.  If you don't tell me, then I'm pissed. 

  
  

   Those who have two ceremonies within a few days or the same day who cares?   It's just nick-picking to me.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  September 2014 edited September 2014

  Just curious. Not meant to sound nit picky. Just intrigued, that's all. I absolutely agree that OP is doing nothing "wrong".

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  September 2014

  lyndausvi said:

  sarahbear31 said:

  I agree with a cocktail hour. I'm just curious - which of these two ceremonies will be the legally binding one? And does the other celebrant know about the other ceremony?

  Does it really matter?   They are happening on the same day.   All the same guests are attending.

  
  

    I think this is a case where we take the PPD, 2 ceremonies thing a little too far.  People who get legally married months or even years before I really side-eye.  If you don't tell me, then I'm pissed. 

  
  

   Those who have two ceremonies within a few days or the same day who cares?   It's just nick-picking to me.

  I agree with this  I don't see how what the OP is describing is out of line, especially if both ceremonies are so close together in time.  I've attended the receptions of friends who practice the LSD faith; many of their guests can't attend the temple wedding, and several couples have chosen to start the reception with a ring ceremony.  If it's the same day and it reflects the couples' faith or cultural practice, I'm far less likely to side-eye or think it inappropriate.
  
  OP, I agree with PPs about having a mini cocktail hour or splitting the cocktail hour into pre- and post-nikah.  You could do:
  2:00 - Catholic sacrament/Mass
  2:30-3:00 - Travel time
  2:45 - Reception venue ready for cocktail hour
  3:30 - Nikah
  4:00-4:30 - Finish cocktail hour
  
  I might also put a more detailed timeline on your wedding website or consider an insert into your invitation with the nikah start time specifically.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  September 2014

  I like Jax's timeline.
  
  Can you tell us what the Nikah is like?  I'm just curious- I have never been to an Iranian wedding.
  
  Are you guys going to have Iranian/Middle Eastern food at the reception?  That would be fantastic- Mmmmmmmmmmm!
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  September 2014

  I'm curious too. I've never been to a Middle Eastern wedding.

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• JCbride2015 member

  

  September 2014

  Jax's timeline also sounds good to me.  I like the idea of cocktail hour ready for the guests as they trickle in after the Catholic ceremony.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• behsco90 member

  

  September 2014

  Thanks ladies. A Persian wedding ceremony has the floor set up with specific things on it and the couple usually sits behind it. On the floor are different foods each representing something as well as a mirror, since the couple is not supposed to look at each other directly.
  
  During the ceremony the officiant reads from the Koran while non-married women hold a scarf or shawl over the couple and married women rub two sugar cones over the couple to represent showering them in sweetness.
  
  At the end of the ceremony the bride and groom dip their pinkies in honey and feed each other.

  
  

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• slothiegal member

  

  September 2014 edited September 2014

  behsco90 said:

  Thanks ladies. A Persian wedding ceremony has the floor set up with specific things on it and the couple usually sits behind it. On the floor are different foods each representing something as well as a mirror, since the couple is not supposed to look at each other directly. During the ceremony the officiant reads from the Koran while non-married women hold a scarf or shawl over the couple and married women rub two sugar cones over the couple to represent showering them in sweetness. At the end of the ceremony the bride and groom dip their pinkies in honey and feed each other.

  Very cool!  Sounds like a beautiful ceremony.

  
  

  ETA: OK I just consulted the Googles and I want that food.  Now.

  

  
  

  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  September 2014

  Aw, that's very cool! 
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  September 2014

  That sounds like a beautiful ceremony! Maybe I should have worded my question differently. From what I've heard from my priest friends, the priest / deacon cannot have the religious ceremony of marriage without it also being legally binding. I was simply curious if the officiant for the Persian service also has the same restrictions. I'm sure OP has it all taken care of, but I am pretty sure that the setup could be problematic if the order of ceremonies had been reversed.

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• wrigleyville member

  

  September 2014

  That sounds gorgeous!

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• Cookie Pusher member

  

  September 2014

  We did a cultural ceremony at our wedding as well, and did it between the salad course and the buffet being opened. People were busy eating their salad and probably didn't notice me leaving to get changed. It took all of, maybe 10 minutes? Many guests who were unfamiliar with my cultural traditions came up to tell us how wonderful it was and how happy they were to witness it. Plus, they got to eat awesome food within a few minutes of it being over.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  
  

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• syoun1nj member

  

  September 2014

  I attended a wedding with a standard American ceremony and a Persian ceremony before. The Persian ceremony was SO AWESOME. It was one of my favorites I've ever seen. I also seem to remember a part where the groom had to ask her to marry him 3x and she had to refuse 2x? But it was many years ago.

  These were both in the same venue, so no gap, so I think the other ladies have great advice above on that.

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• lc07 member

  

  September 2014

  I would have a short cocktail time between ceremonies and then go straight into dinner after the second ceremony.

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