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Etiquette

Who to invite to the shower

FI and I have a guest list of close to 165 (we were shooting for 150 but you know how that goes). My MOH has pretty much taken the lead on planning my bridal shower with input from my mom as well as other bridesmaids. She found the locations (it is a secret) and asked for a guest list of who I would like invited to the shower. I originally wanted a smaller wedding and thought I can have the guest list for the shower reduced to maybe 50-60 women. 

Here is the question- do I have to invite all 87 women on our guest lists or is it acceptable to have the shower be on the smaller side. I don't quite feel comfortable inviting some FI's parents family friends who I have never met. It just seems a bit gift grabby to me. I also have some women that are friends of the family that I would cut back on as well so it would not be me just cutting back on FI's side. 

Is this okay or should I just invite everyone?

Re: Who to invite to the shower

  • tlc9615 said:
    FI and I have a guest list of close to 165 (we were shooting for 150 but you know how that goes). My MOH has pretty much taken the lead on planning my bridal shower with input from my mom as well as other bridesmaids. She found the locations (it is a secret) and asked for a guest list of who I would like invited to the shower. I originally wanted a smaller wedding and thought I can have the guest list for the shower reduced to maybe 50-60 women. 

    Here is the question- do I have to invite all 87 women on our guest lists or is it acceptable to have the shower be on the smaller side. I don't quite feel comfortable inviting some FI's parents family friends who I have never met. It just seems a bit gift grabby to me. I also have some women that are friends of the family that I would cut back on as well so it would not be me just cutting back on FI's side. 

    Is this okay or should I just invite everyone?
    This is MORE than ok.  You may be getting confused because ONLY people who are invited to the wedding can be invited to the shower, but that doesn't mean that ALL the people invited to the wedding have to be invited to the shower.  You have one large list of wedding guests, and you can pick shower guests from that list.  You can't invite someone to the shower if you aren't inviting them to the wedding, but you certainly don't have to invite everyone.  Actually, if you did, you would 100% look like you were just trying to get more gifts.  
    SP29
  • Ask your MOH how many people she can afford to host. Once she gives you a number, that's how many people you can have on your guest list. 

    No, you do not need to invite every female wedding guest to your shower. It's perfectly fine and, in fact, most people don't invite everyone. But anyone invited to the shower (a wedding related event) must be invited to the wedding, so keep that in mind as you assemble your list.
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    holyguacamole79indianaalum
  • Thank you thank you! This is what I was hoping to hear. MOH informed me they are okay financially with the whole bunch but I would prefer something more intimate! 

    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915SP29
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Last two showers I attended, each had fourteen women there. More were invited, of course, but both seemed to be a perfect size.
  • As said above- no you do not have to invite every female attending your wedding.

    Showers are generally more intimate events involving close family and friends. 
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