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Etiquette for no registry

bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi All Just wondering how to deal with not having a registry when guests ask (if they ask my mom or sister or bridesmaid). I am Canadian so many of my friends and family will be coming from there to my wedding here in the Bahamas (where I now live). My problem is that I really don't have anywhere to register here and to register somewhere close like Miami in the states would cost me an arm and a leg (duty & shipping) and a ton of headaches to bring everything in afterwards. Plus, other than a vitamix (that I just want, don't "need") and vacuum, there isn't anything I could think of that we need. I have already said that people traveling to the wedding shouldn't get us gifts because of the expense of travel but I also don't want it to seem like we are asking for money by not having a registry anywhere. Any suggestions? Thanks!
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Re: Etiquette for no registry

  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    "Oh, we don't have a registry; we're currently saving up for a house/new mattress/boat/robotic pony.  Have you tried the bean dip?"

    Your guests will get the hint.
    Anniversary

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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    If guests ask, simply say, "We don't have a registry.  But we are saving for ______."   Or just, "We don't have a registry, but thank you for thinking of us," if you aren't saving for anything in particular.
    image
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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Lol I know we would probably just use any $ we got for the honeymoon spending but I know honeyfunds are taboo on here so won't open that can of worms! :)
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bahamabride2015 said:
    Hi All Just wondering how to deal with not having a registry when guests ask (if they ask my mom or sister or bridesmaid). I am Canadian so many of my friends and family will be coming from there to my wedding here in the Bahamas (where I now live). My problem is that I really don't have anywhere to register here and to register somewhere close like Miami in the states would cost me an arm and a leg (duty & shipping) and a ton of headaches to bring everything in afterwards. Plus, other than a vitamix (that I just want, don't "need") and vacuum, there isn't anything I could think of that we need. I have already said that people traveling to the wedding shouldn't get us gifts because of the expense of travel but I also don't want it to seem like we are asking for money by not having a registry anywhere. Any suggestions? Thanks!
    I'd stop saying this.  It implies that you expected a gift from them otherwise. 




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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited September 2014
    I knew someone was going to read it this way and already revised it once in hopes of preventing that.  Obviously I'm not saying "If you don't come, get us a gift" It's been more "Don't worry about gifts, we would just love to see you there"
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bahamabride2015 said:
    I knew someone was going to read it this way and already revised it once in hopes of preventing that.  Obviously I'm not saying "If you don't come, get us a gift" It's been more "Don't worry about gifts, we would just love to see you there"
    I know what you're intending to say.  There are just some that can see it as though you are expecting gifts (which you shouldn't).  Just leave it at "We would love to see you there."




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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I think we're splitting hairs now. These conversations have only taken place when people have asked where/when we will be registered.  I'm obviously going to address their question while still saying we would just love if they could attend.  
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    bahamabride2015 said:
    I think we're splitting hairs now. These conversations have only taken place when people have asked where/when we will be registered.  I'm obviously going to address their question while still saying we would just love if they could attend.  
    You're the one who asked if there were any suggestions.




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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Yes and so far you there have been none aside from what I am actually already saying.  


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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    bahamabride2015 said:
    Lol I know we would probably just use any $ we got for the honeymoon spending but I know honeyfunds are taboo on here so won't open that can of worms! :)
    That's fine.  If people choose to give you money and you choose to use it for your honeymoon, that is perfectly acceptable.  The tacky thing about honeyfunds isn't that the couple is choosing to spend money guests give them on their honeymoon, it's that you are specifically telling your guests to give you money, those things lie to guests about what the guests are purchasing (not actually giving you a romantic dinner for two, just what the fund determines the cost of that is) and the sites take a portion of the money.  If you don't have a registry and your guests choose to give you cash, spend away.
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  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2014
    bahamabride2015 said:
    Yes and so far you there have been none aside from what I am actually already saying.  


    Then you're FINE. Pat yourself on the back, and hit the chill button.
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I'd just tell them the truth... that you don't have any large chain stores nearby to register at, so you have not created any registries because it would create hassles with travelling to the US to register or return duplicate gifts. That would sound like an acceptable excuse to me and I would give cash instead. Nobody wants to give a gift that will inconvenience you. 

    FYI, we did a registry on Amazon, which may be an option for you. I loved that we could register for pretty much anything on one registry site.  And they are great with return policy.  Even if you only register for one or two items, it gives people some options for tangible gifts. It still won't totally satisfy the people that prefer to shop in person, but since most people are travelling they will likely ship gifts to you anyway. And a very small registry will still relay the idea that money is probably preferred gift. We had about 80 invited guests and about 15 items on our registry (most under $50)... we received a lot of checks/gift cards and very few tangible gifts.

    image 

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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    DH and I didn't register for anything. When people asked us what we wanted, we said we had everything we could possibly need and were just excited to share our wedding day with people we love so much. Every single guests who gave us a gift gave money in one form or another.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    slothiegal said:
    "Oh, we don't have a registry; we're currently saving up for a house/new mattress/boat/robotic pony.  Have you tried the bean dip?"

    Your guests will get the hint.
    This^^ and I totally have a robotic pony!! Her name is Smores. My dad got her for me for Christmas and my 30th bday a few years ago. My brother gave her the affectionate nickname of "I scare boys off." Luckily DH didn't mind and she lives in the basement with his 5 deer head mounts.

    Continue on.

    On topic...
    We did not register - anywhere.
    Some people will want to get you a physical gift - most of them are pretty cool bc you'd never think to get them yourselves...others are lovingly selected :)
    For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts. 
    There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are saving up for the honeymoon (or house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase). GL!

    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    ...now I want a robotic pony.


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