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WWYD?

LadyMillilLadyMillil member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
in Chit Chat
Bridezilla sis wedding is coming up. It should be a train wreck and I'll post all the details for your enjoyment afterwards :)

I'm Skyping the ceremony and am not sure who will be in charge of me for this, I just know it won't be MOB/FOB. Sis and her FI are getting married at the RD because the officiant (whom they have no relationship with) they booked can't legally marry them. They made this decision months ago and wouldn't consider a new officiant or using two officiants. Although you don't need to say the traditional vows to get married, to be legal the ceremony requires you to verbally confirm who you are, that there are no impediments to your marriage, that you willingly take the other person to be your spouse, and you are pronounced married. We sign the papers during the ceremony here, and I've asked around and no one I know has been to a wedding where they papers aren't signed during the ceremony. I have no idea if they are going to fake signing the papers during the not legal re-do ceremony. I also don't know how many people know and care that they are seeing a non-legal, re-do ceremony. Here is my dilemma: Do I ask the person Skyping me in why they didn't sign the papers during the ceremony? Or is this too petty?

If it changes your answer, she kicked me out of the WP over attire issues (out of my budget and comfort zone, but made attire exceptions for her friends) and she did everything she could to be the centre of attention at my wedding, and tried to ruin my day by accidentally-on-purpose spilling her dinner on my dress.

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Re: WWYD?

  • luckya23luckya23 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer

    Yes, too petty, but good for you for not attending!  What a biznatch!

    Why bother to watch the reenactment though?  Sounds like more trouble for the people in attendance and you don't seem to want to?

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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Long story, but basically had my sister crying on the phone about how I wasn't going to her wedding and my mom yelling at me for not going. I have told both of them since she started planning that there would be a lot of difficulties for me attending, including travel cost, travel time, time off work, and the fact that she is putting hay bales everywhere and I'm seriously allergic.

    Also, sis is very manipulative and AW so I am sure she has started saying to others "woe is me my sister hates me and won't come to my wedding" so I want to make sure that word gets around that I have legit reasons for not being there.

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  • steph861steph861 member
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    LadyMillil said:
    Long story, but basically had my sister crying on the phone about how I wasn't going to her wedding and my mom yelling at me for not going. I have told both of them since she started planning that there would be a lot of difficulties for me attending, including travel cost, travel time, time off work, and the fact that she is putting hay bales everywhere and I'm seriously allergic.

    Also, sis is very manipulative and AW so I am sure she has started saying to others "woe is me my sister hates me and won't come to my wedding" so I want to make sure that word gets around that I have legit reasons for not being there.
    Are other people aware of how manipulative and AW she is? If so, I don't think you need to worry - they probably wish they could join you in not attending ;)
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Yeah, it would be petty, OP.  But I know I'd be tempted to do it, too.

    And FWIW, we didn't sign the license at our wedding.  I've actually only been to one wedding where the license was signed during the ceremony.  Maybe it's different for us in Texas? 




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  • raissyraisraissyrais member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Wow, that sister of yours sounds like a peachy pearl. I would be so tempted to do it but yes it would be petty. If you really wanna get back at her I guess you can do it. Or you can also be the bigger person and just ignore the whole thing. Indifference is the epitome of insult in my book. But then again, you have to be witty to understand that. Sounds like your sister might have some trouble with that.
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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer

    steph11814 said:
    LadyMillil said:
    Long story, but basically had my sister crying on the phone about how I wasn't going to her wedding and my mom yelling at me for not going. I have told both of them since she started planning that there would be a lot of difficulties for me attending, including travel cost, travel time, time off work, and the fact that she is putting hay bales everywhere and I'm seriously allergic.

    Also, sis is very manipulative and AW so I am sure she has started saying to others "woe is me my sister hates me and won't come to my wedding" so I want to make sure that word gets around that I have legit reasons for not being there.
    Are other people aware of how manipulative and AW she is? If so, I don't think you need to worry - they probably wish they could join you in not attending ;)
     I don't think so. I'm hoping that after the well-hosted wedding DH and I had that people find all her plans extra rude. She has taken guest comfort into consideration exactly 0 times.

    @sarahbear31 I'm in Canada. My American friends find it odd that we sign the license during the ceremony, but I've never been to a wedding that didn't do it.

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  • raissyraisraissyrais member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    LadyMillil said:

    steph11814 said:
    LadyMillil said:
    Long story, but basically had my sister crying on the phone about how I wasn't going to her wedding and my mom yelling at me for not going. I have told both of them since she started planning that there would be a lot of difficulties for me attending, including travel cost, travel time, time off work, and the fact that she is putting hay bales everywhere and I'm seriously allergic.

    Also, sis is very manipulative and AW so I am sure she has started saying to others "woe is me my sister hates me and won't come to my wedding" so I want to make sure that word gets around that I have legit reasons for not being there.
    Are other people aware of how manipulative and AW she is? If so, I don't think you need to worry - they probably wish they could join you in not attending ;)
     I don't think so. I'm hoping that after the well-hosted wedding DH and I had that people find all her plans extra rude. She has taken guest comfort into consideration exactly 0 times.

    @sarahbear31 I'm in Canada. My American friends find it odd that we sign the license during the ceremony, but I've never been to a wedding that didn't do it.
    Where in Canada are you? I'm in Montreal, and Quebec people literally NEVER marry so I've never been to a wedding here.How do they normally sign the license?
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  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    If they typically sign the marriage license but won't be then you don't have to bring anything up. Other people will notice that they didn't sign it and they will talk. Your sister's actions will speak for themselves- no need for you to point them out.
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We signed at our reception.

    image   image   image

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    I think every wedding I've been to, it was signed after the ceremony. But off to the side or something and not in an obvious manner with everyone watching.  That's what we did with mine. After the ceremony, we did it in the back of the room with just us, officiant, our witnesses and our photographer.

     

    I did find it glaringly obvious though that at the last wedding I attending, after the ceremony the officiant asked the bride if they had the license to sign and she said they didn't need to do that. AKA: it was secretly signed 3 months earlier... for "convenience" reasons. I'm shocked that they didn't even tell their officiant that they were already legally married!  She had mentioned it to me months earlier as a potential option to overcome some logistical obstacles but I didn't know they had done it until I had overheard that conversation with the officiant, although I had my suspicions. I don't think they told anyone though.  And nobody else at the wedding noticed since it's not usually signed as a public, part-of-the-show, thing in my circles.

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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    raissyrais said:

    Where in Canada are you? I'm in Montreal, and Quebec people literally NEVER marry so I've never been to a wedding here.How do they normally sign the license?
    I'm in BC now but the only weddings I've been to are in Ontario. Usually there is a small table off to the side of the alter. The officiant asks if you take the person to be your spouse, if there is any reason why you can't be lawfully married, then you do the vows. After that the officiant, B&G (or B&B or G&G) step to the side, the bride signs the license first, then the groom, then the two witnesses. The officiant signs last. The officiant pronounces you married, you have the kiss then it's party time.

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  • KaurisKauris member
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    Can't you have technical difficulties and treat yourself to a spa day instead?
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  • missdelilahmissdelilah member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Your sister sounds like a terrible person.  Good on you for not attending.  I wouldn't even bother watching if I were you.
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  • steph861steph861 member
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    edited September 2014
    LadyMillil said:


    raissyrais said:




    Where in Canada are you? I'm in Montreal, and Quebec people literally NEVER marry so I've never been to a wedding here.How do they normally sign the license?

    I'm in BC now but the only weddings I've been to are in Ontario. Usually there is a small table off to the side of the alter. The officiant asks if you take the person to be your spouse, if there is any reason why you can't be lawfully married, then you do the vows. After that the officiant, B&G (or B&B or G&G) step to the side, the bride signs the license first, then the groom, then the two witnesses. The officiant signs last. The officiant pronounces you married, you have the kiss then it's party time.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yay! A fellow British Columbian!
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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    kasmith1 said:
    Can't you have technical difficulties and treat yourself to a spa day instead?

    I wish! I just found out that I'm getting human tissue for my research to morrow, which means I need to work all weekend to deal with it.

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  • NdelibleNdelible member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    She's your sister.  Just stick your tongue out at her.
    Happiness is an inside job
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