For reference, my shower is this coming Sunday. I have had basically no input (as it should be). The only input that I had was getting how many my sister/MOH was comfortable hosting so that I could give her a list of people I would like invited in addition to getting FMIL's list of people that FMIL would like invited.
Tonight (possibly today.. my phone was dead- great job, me!) I got a text from FMIL. "Suzy McFancerpants never got an invite".
As it so happens, when being nosy and asking my MOH about RSVPs to the shower, I found out that Suzy wasn't on the list. I was a little shocked because she and her H are close friends with FMIL, but I didn't look into it any further and went about my business. I double checked the list that FMIL sent me (that I forwarded to MOH) and I was correct, Suzy wasn't on it.
Where it is right now, I have alerted my MOH and cleared it with her that she might be getting an RSVP from Suzy. I told FMIL that she wasn't on the list that I was given and was forwarded to MOH (I do feel kind of badly, but I am sure as hell not throwing my MOH under the bus for something that was actually FMIL's mistake), I also told FMIL that I was sorry for the oversite, and she is of course more welcome to come.
My etiquette blunder may have been in offering to call Suzy to help smooth things over. (Not sure how I will do this while throwing no one under the bus, but still letting her know that I would love to see her.. but I'm sure that I could figure it out.)
I'm just trying to figure out what to do. From my understanding, we're not B-listing her, as FMIL thought that she was invited from the beginning... and it's not like we were waiting to invite her, it was just a simple mistake.