Hi All,
This is my first post, and it's a little long winded, so I apologize...but this topic is giving me anxiety!
At the beginning of summer, I was asked to be a bridal attendant in a friend's wedding. She assured me I would only have to help set up (which I did). She also mentioned she was asking me because she couldn't have anymore bridesmaids but wanted me to be included on the boat the bridal party (which my then boyfriend, now fiance was a part of) was taking between the ceremony and reception (3 hours). On the day of the wedding, I found out from her mother that I would not be allowed on the boat, rather I would be serving drinks to guests at her wedding reception. I did not feel as though this is part of the bridal attendant duties (they had caterers?) and refused to do it. This obviously created tension between us and we have not talked since and don't see us resolving matters in the near (or far) future. I have heard from our mutual friends that she has no interest in being my friend anymore.
Fast forward to my engagement. We decided to have a destination wedding with our closest friends and family. I would like to get save the dates out but cannot decide what would be the right thing to do in regards to inviting her. Traditional etiquette states I should invite her since she is the wife of my fiance's friend. Although, I feel it would ruin MY time if she was there. If I were having a larger wedding at home, she would surely be invited. But I feel that my small destination wedding is far too intimate to bring drama along and also to have to spend 5 days with someone who doesn't like me pains me.
So, do I risk ruining my time and inviting her so my fiance and his friend won't lose their relationship over this, or should I invite her husband as a solo guest?
Any advice or suggestions, good or bad, would be much appreciated!