this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Woes

Guys' Weekend(s)

So my fiancé has at the minimum two guys' weekends planed each year.  There is one in the spring at our house (where I have to leave which isn't necessarily nice to me) and another in the fall at a buddy's lake or mountain house.  He has always been the single guy, so it has never been an issue... until I moved in.  It worked out last fall because I planned a weekend away during the same weekend.  I'm frustrated because these "two" weekends are multiplying very quickly.  So far in the past two or so month, he has had a weekend away with the guys because one of them has left his wife and now this man weekend started Thursday and will end Sunday.  I don't necessarily blame him because he is participating in these other times with his friends who are going through difficult times..... But part of me is frustrated because it is feeling like one weekend out of each month he is being a friend for his (amazing - I really do like them) buddies.  He gets mad if I get frustrated.  I just don't know how to respond.

Additionally, they usually have a no social media rule, but the one single guy posts ridiculous stuff throughout the weekend.  Like right now he has posted a picture of someone with a very intense bloody injury.  That is on Facebook.  I can't get in touch with my fiancé, and I have no idea who is hurt.  This just seems over the top, and this is the stuff that makes me very angry!  My fiancé is an amazing man, and I would bet my life that he isn't doing anything wrong.  But I don't like seeing a picture of a bloody injury with no explanation!  That worries me!  What should I do?!?

Also, at what point should guys' weekend become a once a year thing instead of whenever the wind blows and they can get together?  With him working out of town I don't want to be a clingy bitch, but I do want to have a minute to relax with my fiancé.  Help!

Re: Guys' Weekend(s)

  • Thanks for the response y'all.  Sometimes you just need someone to bring you back down to earth.  I'm more frustrated that he works out of town most of the week, and I don't have many friends in the town where we live.  I get very caught up in feeling like I'm "stuck" up here taking care of the house and the dog while my friends are all having fun in our hometown where we hopefully will be moving back to very soon.  I think it feels excessive because he left this week for work on Tuesday, and then he went straight to the lake.  So I'll see him for probably two days before he is out of town again for work.  I think I just get really frustrated with the situation when it isn't the guys' weekend that bothers me but the fact that we moved up here and I'm here alone most of the time.
  • Have you tried talking to him about how you feel lonely living there?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • AddieCake said:
    Have you tried talking to him about how you feel lonely living there?
    This. It may be that he needs to lay off on long bro weekends until you guys move back home where you have more of a social group so that you don't feel alone all the time.

  • We actually talk about it a lot.  He genuinely tries to make it better by saying we can board the dog for the weekend so I can go out of town too.  But with trying to save to move and for the wedding I feel really badly "wasting" that money because in my mind, that extra $250 (boarding the dog and my expenses out of town) could go a long way toward adding a videographer which we don't have room for in the budget right now or even giving us some more wiggle room with a venue or bar or whatever we choose.  We are slowly but surely getting the house ready to put on the market - it is a 100-year-old house in a tee-tiny town, so the market isn't what I would call booming and the house needs quite a bit of cosmetic work (he bought this house about a year before we met).  Anyway, we are both doing a weekend with my good friends next weekend.  I think this week was just harder than normal for whatever reason.  There just isn't much time for any quality time during football season.  That saying "we now interrupt your marriage for football season" definitely rings true for us, but I am just as big of a fan as he is.  I need to remember that is one of the things we really connected about in the beginning and love about each other.  I think it magnifies not spending the week together and having dinner together or even just hanging out watching tv when he is also gone all weekend with next to no contact because they are in the middle of nowhere on the lake.

    The issue too is that  his best friend is right in the middle of leaving his wife and starting the divorce proceedings.  I love how great of a friend my fiancé is, and his bff really needs him right now.  There is just a lot going on.  I think I was having a pity party for one the other night.  Thanks y'all! : )
  • Do his other friends have gfs/wives? I would try to befriend them. I know I don't watch any football but I can sit around in the kitchen, eat appetizers, and gossip with the girls for hours =) When my FIs friends come for poker me and the gf of his one friend go shopping and drink wine. Then you are spending time "together" even if you aren't necessarily doing the same thing. He can still have guy weekends but maybe next thing you know at least one weekend of the year will involve couples!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • That is actually an awesome idea!  Out of the four so far this year, I don't think it is too much to ask to have one be a couple's mountain weekend or something.  I do know the wives... I'm the only not wife (yet).  Great suggestion!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards