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Wedding Etiquette Forum

The nerve of some people! With UPDATE in comments

BrandNewJBrandNewJ member
250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My friend is supposed to come over tonight and come to a Packers bar with my BF and I for the game because she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner even though her BF is a groomsman. In fact, she said she got a text from the groom telling her specifically not to come to the rehearsal dinner. Strike 1. I don't say anything because at least I get my friend for the night. My friend just texted me saying now her BF isn't going because the groom called him, told him not to come to the dinner either and rather pick up their desserts from the bakery and store it in heir fridge over night. Did I mention they live 2 hours away from the bakery and venue? So unbelievably rude! I told her how rude that was and they should both come to the bar and tell the groom she already has plans she won't break. I'm waiting to hear what they're going to do, but I seriously hope I'm going to see my friends tonight instead of them being bridal slaves for the evening :(
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Re: The nerve of some people! With UPDATE in comments

  • That doesn't even make sense...people are stupid.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • They're taking advantage of my friend's kind nature. I'm sure she's going to help them, but seriously. This sucks.
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  • Yeah I would be telling them where they could shove those desserts.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Are you fucking kidding me?

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  • That's some serious BS right there.
  • That is terrible! The rehearsal dinner is to thank the bridal party. This GM is told not to come but spend the time running around with their desserts. I sure hope he tells them no.
  • UPDATE: apparently her BF is actually honored by this and she is appalled, but doesn't want to fight so she's staying out of it, but also NOT going with him to get the desserts. While discussing it with her, she also informed me that this is not actually their wedding, but a PPD to their wedding they had months ago. Apparently, the wedding months ago was "for him" because it incorporated his Chinese culture. This wedding is "for her" and her vision. She promised me live text updates on the shit show.
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  • @short+sassy‌ neither would I! Just insane. @beethery‌ seriously though. I told my BF why she isn't coming anymore and on his own fruition said "there's no way in hell were doing that to our friends". I love him.
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  • Umm.... I'm Chinese (DH is not). We were able to have a wedding incorporating what we both wanted in one shot. No PPD for us. It's not that hard!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • BrandNewJ said:
    My friend is supposed to come over tonight and come to a Packers bar with my BF and I for the game because she was not invited to the rehearsal dinner even though her BF is a groomsman. In fact, she said she got a text from the groom telling her specifically not to come to the rehearsal dinner. Strike 1. I don't say anything because at least I get my friend for the night. My friend just texted me saying now her BF isn't going because the groom called him, told him not to come to the dinner either and rather pick up their desserts from the bakery and store it in heir fridge over night. Did I mention they live 2 hours away from the bakery and venue? So unbelievably rude! I told her how rude that was and they should both come to the bar and tell the groom she already has plans she won't break. I'm waiting to hear what they're going to do, but I seriously hope I'm going to see my friends tonight instead of them being bridal slaves for the evening :(
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  • So wait a second--not only is this couple asking their groomsman to drive 2+ hours each way to pick up their desserts instead of attending the rehearsal dinner, but they are then going to, presumably, serve desserts at the reception that have been in a car for 4+ hours with no refrigeration?  Here's hoping that the car has really good AC and/or that these deserts are limited to cookies and cookie-like offerings .  .  .
  • So wait a second--not only is this couple asking their groomsman to drive 2+ hours each way to pick up their desserts instead of attending the rehearsal dinner, but they are then going to, presumably, serve desserts at the reception that have been in a car for 4+ hours with no refrigeration?  Here's hoping that the car has really good AC and/or that these deserts are limited to cookies and cookie-like offerings .  .  .

    You're so right! It's stuff like macaroons and little cakes. I'm texting her ASAP not to touch that stuff. Aside from a/c, I love my friend, but her car is crazy dirty. I always drive when were together. I hope nothing go through the cracks in the boxes!
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  • If they sent me two hours away to get desserts and then I had to drive two hours to the venue, there would be an unfortunate brake check involving a "deer".
  • It's situations like this that honestly make me kinda thankful I went through a period of extreme broke-ness to know that my time & gas are too precious to expend on something so fucking rude without asking for reimbursement. Seriously, I'm sure your friend would never ask the couple to reimburse her for gas (the fact that she's even doing this task speaks volumes of her sainthood), but I could never. I would tell them "If you really have no other way of getting the cake here I'll do what I can for you, but honestly 4 hours driving is a lot. As long as you can cover the gas for me and the Starbucks I'm gonna need for that trip, I'll go get your cake." This is only something I would volunteer to do without reimbursement for my SO's mom or something. I know being broke and struggling for gas money to get to job interviews all to well to just take a 4 hour trip for someone who doesn't even seem to deserve it.
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