Months ago, my 3 lovely BMs asked if they could throw me a shower. It's going to be small - just us and my mom. They planned a bunch of super fun activities around my hometown (brunch, touristy sightseeing, afternoon tea). I am SUPER pumped about it and can't wait to fly home for it!
After we had made all these plans, my FMIL also asked if she could throw me a shower in the city where FI and I (and all of FI's family live). It was clear to me she wanted a big thing and to invite all her friends and relatives. She also asked if she could invite my BMs and my mother. Of course I said yes because it would have been weird to say no, and then I let my girls know they most certainly were not expected to fly here for this shower that will be 90% FI's family, most of which even I had never met before the shower. I really did not expect them to come out for it, but my mom and 2 BMs did anyway, because they are fabulous, lovely people. They also brought me super generous gifts. The BM that didn't make it sent me a super nice gift in the mail, with a note that she was sorry to miss it.
I feel kind of terrible that they are all now all stuck with having to get me ANOTHER gift at the shower they are throwing themselves. Is it rude to reach out and ask that they not? I definitely know that saying 'no gifts please' is rude in the context of a wedding.... but with showers gifts ARE expected. And these girls already got roped into giving me a gift at my FMIL's shower. Since it's only the four ladies I'm closest to in life that will be at this second shower, can I get away with asking for no gifts? Or am I being a special snowflake here?