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Offering singles +1s after the RSVP deadline - is this B listing?

jenijoykjenijoyk member
Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm thinking not, right? We're a week out from the deadline and we're in really good shape with our numbers. We expected about 30 declines and are almost there and I expect a few more. Is it tacky to call up our single friends once the deadline has passed and let them know they're welcome to bring a friend? Or is this just asking for too much trouble. As in.... could it be taken as B-listing? Could it be taken as "Hey you single loser, you should bring a date."? Or am I creating an unnecessary headache for myself because I know I'll have to chase them down again in a few weeks to try and figure if and who they are bringing so I can finish my tables and my escort cards?
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Re: Offering singles +1s after the RSVP deadline - is this B listing?

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I never think of this as B-listing. B-listing would be like if Aunt Edith declines, so you invite your friend from college you didn't originally have room for. 

    Your truly single guests would probably appreciate this.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is not technically B listing, but Knotties here seem to sit on both sides of the fence. Some people still consider it rude, because if you wanted them to bring someone you should have budgeted for it in the first place. Others think it is considerate and would have no issues if a friend called them up for the same reason. I think it's fine to do, call up and say, "Hey Sally, we have some extra space and if there is anyone you would like to bring with you, please do". It's not B listing because you're not counting on declines so that you can invite more guests for yourself, you're offering a "comfort" to a guest.
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  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    Im on the "this is ok" side of the fence. As RSVPs came back I talked to truly single guests one on one and said "hey, I know you won't know many people there. Please let me know if you'd like to bring someone as a guest."
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  • cafarriecafarrie member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments 5 Answers Name Dropper
    I think this is fine and would be really happy if I were one of the guests that got to bring someone, even if it was later :)
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Glad I read this I would have thought it would be an automatic no this isn't right. But glad to see others are ok with it.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    It depends on how you approach it. I've had friends say, "Hey, we ended up with some extra space. You're welcome to bring someone if you want." I didn't take offense, since I was single and not expecting to be invited with a date. It was kind of a bonus.

    B-listing would be if I hadn't been invited in the first place and then they came to me and said, "We got 20 declines. Do you want to come to the wedding?"
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  • littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper

    The only hesitation I would have with approaching your single guests with this is if you have any singles who declined, particularly one's living OOT, who may have travelled if they had the option of travelling with someone.

    We had some extra spaces once all our RSVPs were in and we did mention to a couple of people about bringing extra people if they wanted - a friend who had just started seeing someone, and one of my mom's friends who had a younger family member staying with them that weekend. If you're chatting with people and it looks like they may be interested in a plus one I would go for it. I'd just be hesitant about going out of your way to contact every single guest incase it gets back to someone who declined and that causes an issue. Or I might be being too sensitive about that ;)

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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer

    These are all good points! We only have one OOT single who declined, and frankly that was a relief because she is not my favorite person on earth. The other singles (and there's maybe 5 at the most) are all close friends. We will just mention it in passing if it  feels right and we have room. Thanks guys!

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