Wedding Etiquette Forum

Friends with benefits as a date?

My friend doesn't have a SO, but she has a Friend with Benefits that she's only been "seeing" for about a month.  The wedding is next month, should her invite be extended to him as well?

Re: Friends with benefits as a date?

  • Yes. If she's "seeing" someone, he should be invited. Plus, this is a nice gesture to your friend. 
    holyguacamole79indianaalummrstrevor3
  • I'd do it. It's nice to give a +1 to a friend. Plus, if you're not really sure where there relationship stands, it covers any hurt feelings if you let her invite him. Are you asking whether she should get a +1 (since you're not sure she'd bring him), or whether he should be invited by name?
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I like jellybeans answer best.

    I don't consider fuck buddies to be a "realtionship" in the way that dating is, but it really depends on the individual fuck buddies. Some do consider themselves as a social unit, others don't. So if you have the space, ask what she'd prefer. If you have space and most of your single friends have been offered +1s, or she's one of the only singles, give her a plus one anyway.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd like someone to ask Miss Manners this question. I wonder how she's like the term fuck buddy. If you're not automatically budgeting space for general plus-ones, I'd do what JellyBean said.
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    melbenso
  • Ask your friend first. If she says yes, invite him by name like you would any SO. If she says no or she's not sure, give her a +1 and let her decide if she wants to bring him or someone else or just come to the wedding solo.
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  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So, they're just friends who sometimes get it on?  Nope; they're just friends and the fact that they are having sex does not make them a couple, since they do not present themselves as such.  I would not invite him.
    image
  • It depends on if they present themselves socially as a couple.

    If you invited your friend to your house for dinner, would you invite her "buddy" too? Would she show up at a friend's house party with him? 

    If yes to either, then yes, he should be invited as her SO. If not, then no you are not required to invite him.
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    ITA, totally depends if they consider themselves in a relationship. If so, then invite, if not, then you aren't obligated to but you certainly can if you want to. If you just want to give a +1, then she can bring him or someone else, up to her.
  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited September 2014
    If you're screwing your friend, it's a relationship.

     If you want to make clear to each other/the world in general that it's a very casual relationship, you can call it whatever you want, but two friends who fuck are indeed in a relationship, no matter if neither party intend the relationship to be long term or exclusive.

    (Why somebody would ever refer to a "fuck buddy" or "friend with benefits" is beyond me, because why does anybody else ever need to know this? It's like saying, "Tom's my friend. Sometimes we fuck." Uhm. Good for you? Needed to know.)
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you're screwing your friend, it's a relationship.

     If you want to make clear to each other/the world in general that it's a very casual relationship, you can call it whatever you want, but two friends who fuck are indeed in a relationship, no matter if neither party intend the relationship to be long term or exclusive.

    (Why somebody would ever refer to a "fuck buddy" or "friend with benefits" is beyond me, because why does anybody else ever need to know this? It's like saying, "Tom's my friend. Sometimes we fuck." Uhm. Good for you? Needed to know.)

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    Stuck in the box

    Actually, a fuck buddy is the opposite of romantic relationship. Fucking does not a relationship make. It's just an extended one night stand.  The whole point of a fuck buddy is get laid on the regular without having to be in a relationship. 

    OP, I'd ask her if she wants to bring him, but unless they consider themselves in a relationship, you are fine to exclude him.  
    mrstrevor3RebeccaB88
  • make sure you have your friend fill out a questionnaire about how many times she's fucked this buddy, how she felt each time she did, whether she has any romantic feelings for him, how he feels about her, and whether orgasm was reached. These facts are important to know to decide whether one is in a "real" relationship or not and it is absolutely your business to know that. Oh, you're not comfortable with asking such intimate questions about another person's relationship? Could have fooled me. Just give your friend the +1, and stop worrying about whether the relationship is "real" enough for you. Jesus.
  • FRIENDS with benefits. Not 'in a relationship'. If everyone's getting a +1 then so too should this single guest. If not, they do not need to be invited as a social unit because they do not consider themselves a social unit.

    Just as it can be insulting to disregard some peoples' relationships by NOT inviting them as a social unit, to me it is equally insulting to try and force someone's situation into a relationship status if that's not what they consider themselves. If they wanted to be in a relationship, they would be. 

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    [Deleted User]RebeccaB88
  • I too would go with jellybean. Let your friend decide.
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  • MegEn1 said:
    FRIENDS with benefits. Not 'in a relationship'. If everyone's getting a +1 then so too should this single guest. If not, they do not need to be invited as a social unit because they do not consider themselves a social unit.

    Just as it can be insulting to disregard some peoples' relationships by NOT inviting them as a social unit, to me it is equally insulting to try and force someone's situation into a relationship status if that's not what they consider themselves. If they wanted to be in a relationship, they would be. 

    SIB*
    THIS.
    I've had a fuck buddy before, if I had been invited to the wedding with him, it would have been really awkward for the both of us because we definitely were not in a relationship. That's the whole point of fuck buddies.
    [Deleted User]
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