Mom wants me to move back in.

sarawifenow · September 2014

...the week before my wedding. This is apparently a thing in my family that I had no idea of. It is supposed to be the bonding time between the brides and their mothers/fathers (my dad is not in the picture so this doesn't matter). Part of me thinks this would be really fun and would make seeing FI the day of and at the rehearsal that much more special. The other part of me thinks I would go crazy. Has anyone done this? Thoughts?

climbingsingle · September 2014

My parents couldn't pay me to move back in for a week.

sarawifenow · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

My parents couldn't pay me to move back in for a week.

Lol! My mom and I are really close and I see her everyday as it is, so I don't think that would be the issue. I am, however, wondering how I would handle it with all the pre-wedding jitters and no FI.

lyndausvi · September 2014

I can't say it's necessary, but I stayed with my family the night before. DH stayed with his mom. We lived far from both. I enjoyed spending the night with them. DH and his mom enjoyed their night together.

If you want to do it great. If not, do not let you mom bully you into it. A week is a bit much IMO (unless you are from OOT and will be in town anyway)

JCbride2015 · September 2014

This would not work for me. But if you think you would have fun, go for it!

I guess the question is, do you think the bonding time would outweigh Fi's support during pre-wedding jitters? Will you feel more or less anxious if you're with your mom?

Fran1985 · September 2014

Well I am staying with my parents for he 3 days before he wedding because I am coming in from out of town. I do think it will be nice to hang out a bit. My mom already asked in a sad voice if I will still come over by myself sometimes after I am married haha.

climbingsingle · September 2014

SaraBrideSoon said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

My parents couldn't pay me to move back in for a week.

Lol! My mom and I are really close and I see her everyday as it is, so I don't think that would be the issue. I am, however, wondering how I would handle it with all the pre-wedding jitters and no FI.

BOX

Don't get me wrong. I love my parents and I'm actually very close with them. But I need my own house. And my bed. And my mom at times can be very high strung. I'd rather her be high strung in her own house right before the wedding.

misshart00 · September 2014

I don't know that I would do it. But my H lived with my parents for a little while before our wedding because his lease expired and we didn't live together before we were married.

Bubblegum5586 · September 2014

I stayed at my moms the night before the wedding in my sisters room. It was great. But one night was enough.

slothiegal · September 2014

Ack I don't know if I could have done a week. But I did spend the night before at the house they had rented. It was really nice waking up to Momma Slothie making me coffee and breakfast like she used to do back in school. (Of course "waking up" implies that I slept the night before which....not so much.)

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · September 2014

Ehhhh...I think I'd kill myself.

I love my parents. They are my friends and I can confide my life to them, but I love my independence and I'd be bored out of my mind and completely engrossed in wedding stuff instead of distracting myself from it. So, no, I couldn't do a whole week...

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

My parents couldn't pay me to move back in for a week.

My parents couldn't pay me enough to move back in for a night!

Liatris2010 · September 2014

I stayed alone at my mom's a few nights before the wedding, because we were coming in from OOT and whenever we do that I stay at my mom's and H stays at his parent's. We spent the night before the wedding together in a hotel. Wouldn't have done it any other way.

SmileDamnit · September 2014

I love me some Ma, but I think a week would be excessive and unnecessary. I really relied on my H a lot the weeks leading up to the wedding and it would've been really hard to not have him physically present for some support for that much time.

jenna8984 · September 2014

I think it's ridiculous. But I'm also one who is spending the night with FI in our home, having breakfast with him, photos before the ceremony, and only see mom 3 days per year so we don't really have a bond.

sarawifenow · September 2014

Thanks all! I will talk to my mom tonight and suggest maybe doing 2 days instead of a week.

climbingsingle · September 2014

jenna8984 said:

I think it's ridiculous. But I'm also one who is spending the night with FI in our home, having breakfast with him, photos before the ceremony, and only see mom 3 days per year so we don't really have a bond.

We're doing this too, and so many people have made comments about it. We're spending the night before together, and then we're doing a first look.

southernbelle0915 · September 2014

I mean, if you're close enough, sure. I'm close with my mom too, but I'd never move in with her right before my wedding. Zoiks!

theartistformerlyknownas · September 2014

I'll spend about 3 hours with my mom at the RD, and it'll be about 2 hours too much "bonding time." No thank you.

I need my space, and my FI, and good lawd all this crafty shit would not go well at either of their places.

ETA I am spending the night at the hotel with my sisters, so we'll have a little time together.

afox007 · September 2014

I am pretty sure if I had to spend the week before the wedding at my parent's house I would not show up at the wedding. I would either have tried to drink myself sane and wound up with alcohol poisoning or would be locked up in the looney bin.

Peaseblossom55 · September 2014

I wouldn't have done it. My relationship with my parents is pretty good too. There was a lot going on and a lot of stress the week before the wedding. There was a lot we needed to do as a team and communicate on. I also felt like we were very far ahead of the game and didn't leave a lot until the last minute either. H has a very calming effect on me, and I wouldn't have wanted to lose that the week before. We didn't spend the night together and the anticipation was still great.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

My first reaction to this was

My parents live 3 1/2 hours away. They came into town the week of the wedding and stayed with me. But, I have a 3 bedroom house, so there was room for them.

They were actually a HUGE help with DIY stuff and other random things. I actually have fond memories of us folding programs and assembling centerpieces and my husband making margaritas.

But, the night before and of the wedding, I stayed in a hotel.

missdelilah · September 2014

My dad has told me about fifteen times since I've been engaged that I'm free to move in with him. Nice house, maid, very high standard of living, real Thai food. Plus, Dad is exactly like me with the alone time thing, so, all in all, not a completely sucky situation. Would work for me if I saw any opportunities for employment over there and wasn't in a relationship. He's stopped short of asking me directly. I think he's decided that I'm just going to fail horribly at life.

OPs situation sounds like it has fun potential.

lurkergirl · September 2014

Nahh. We are probably going to rent a house and stay there by ourselves the entire weekend. We will get ready separately, so the first time he sees me all done up will be when I walk down the aisle.

We have also been together over 6 years and lived together much of that time so it would be silly to pretend otherwise.

Mom wants me to move back in.

Re: Mom wants me to move back in.

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