this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

brides made and grooms man. HELP!!!

Knottie67936944Knottie67936944 member
First Comment
in Chit Chat
So, I am in a pickle and I need some advice.
I am from Brazil and my husband is from the US. I have 2 friends and 1 family (women) that I would like as my brides made and one made of honor. 
My husband is the youngest of 6 kids and he is very close to his brothers and brothers in law and he wants them on his side of the wedding party, but NONE of his sisters (3 of them) are on my plans to be brides maids. Is it weird that he ask his brothers in law to be part of the ceremony with my people and let the sisters sit as guests or should I just add sister and husband together and find someone to be pair with my people?!
I know is my wedding, but I don't want to be awkward or make my sisters in law hate me.
PLEASE HELP!!!

image
Report Reply to Post

Re: brides made and grooms man. HELP!!!

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    So, I am in a pickle and I need some advice.
    I am from Brazil and my husband is from the US. I have 2 friends and 1 family (women) that I would like as my brides made and one made of honor. 
    My husband is the youngest of 6 kids and he is very close to his brothers and brothers in law and he wants them on his side of the wedding party, but NONE of his sisters (3 of them) are on my plans to be brides maids. Is it weird that he ask his brothers in law to be part of the ceremony with my people and let the sisters sit as guests or should I just add sister and husband together and find someone to be pair with my people?!
    I know is my wedding, but I don't want to be awkward or make my sisters in law hate me.
    PLEASE HELP!!!

    I don't understand the bolded.

    In general, are you asking whether you must include his sisters as BMs?  No, you don't.  The BMs are up to you, and you should choose who you want.

    However, reality is that sometimes family dynamics matter in these things.  I am including two female members of Fi's family because it was important to him, and I don't mind.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    It would be perfectly fine for him to have his brothers and brothers and law and you to just have the friends and 1 family member.

    You could get his sisters a pretty corsage to wear and seat them in the front row as a nice gesture to honor them in a different way.




    image
    Report Reply
  • Knottie67936944Knottie67936944 member
    First Comment
    Yes, I mean on the bold part is: Should I just add the sisters as my brides made and pair my people with someone else. Thanks for the reply!!!
    image
    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited September 2014
    Knottie67936944 said:
    Yes, I mean on the bold part is: Should I just add the sisters as my brides made and pair my people with someone else. Thanks for the reply!!!
    You never need to just add someone to make the sides even or to keep a couple together.

    Are you worried that the sisters will be upset if they are not included?

    Edited to add:  The bridesmaids and groomsmen to not have to be paired together.  You pick the women (or men) most important to you, and he picks the men (or women) most important to him.  Sometimes those people are a couple, but in the U.S. it's extremely common and normal for only one half of a couple to be included in the wedding party.

    That said, even if they aren't in the party, they still need to be included with their significant other for all other wedding events (rehearsal dinner, seated together at the reception, etc..)





    image
    Report Reply
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    Yes, I mean on the bold part is: Should I just add the sisters as my brides made and pair my people with someone else. Thanks for the reply!!!
    "Pairing your people with someone else" makes no sense to me.  Are you worried about having even sides?  You don't need even sides.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Report Reply
  • Knottie67936944Knottie67936944 member
    First Comment
    Yes, I dont want to create unnecessary family drama with his sisters.
    image
    Report Reply
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    Yes, I dont want to create unnecessary family drama with his sisters.
    Only you know them, not us.  Yes, it is "etiquette okay" to leave them out.  But you're familiar with the family, so can probably figure out whether there would be drama or not.

    For me, it was not a hill I wanted to die on.  I had already planned on including Fi's sister because we are pretty close.  I ended up including his female cousin to avoid family drama.  So far, it has worked out fine and I don't regret it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    Yes, I dont want to create unnecessary family drama with his sisters.
    If it's drama you're worried about, then you have to make a personal decision.  Have they been dramatic in the past and given you reason to be worried?  Or are you just afraid of hurting their feelings?




    image
    Report Reply
  • Knottie67936944Knottie67936944 member
    First Comment
    edited September 2014
    His 3 sisters are nice and I like them, but I have seen them 3 or 4 times as they live in the philly area and I live in Houston, TX. I just thought they could take it the wrong way if we invite their husbands to be in the wedding party but not them that are "blood family" on my husbands side
    image
    Report Reply
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Why doesn't your FI add them on his side if you're not close with them but you want to include them? It's perfectly acceptable to have "groom's maids." He doesn't need to feel like he should only choose their husbands because they have penises, but leave the sisters out.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    His 3 sisters are nice and I like them, but I have seen them 3 or 4 times as they live in the philly area and I live in Houston, TX. I just thought they could take it the wrong way if we invite their husbands to be in the wedding party but not them that are "blood family" on my husbands side
    I don't think you need to worry about it at all.  It is really normal to have just one half of a couple in a wedding party.  My fiance is having his brother as a groomsmen, but the brother's wife is not in the wedding.  Nobody's feelings were hurt at all.




    image
    Report Reply
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Knottie67936944 said:
    His 3 sisters are nice and I like them, but I have seen them 3 or 4 times as they live in the philly area and I live in Houston, TX. I just thought they could take it the wrong way if we invite their husbands to be in the wedding party but not them that are "blood family" on my husbands side
    Yeah, that would be a little weird to me too.  Why can't your Fi ask them to stand up with him?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    JCbride2015 said:
    Knottie67936944 said:
    His 3 sisters are nice and I like them, but I have seen them 3 or 4 times as they live in the philly area and I live in Houston, TX. I just thought they could take it the wrong way if we invite their husbands to be in the wedding party but not them that are "blood family" on my husbands side
    Yeah, that would be a little weird to me too.  Why can't your Fi ask them to stand up with him?
    Derp!  That didn't click with me before.  Yeah, I could see how it would be weird if I asked my brother's (hypothetical) wife and not my brother. 





    image
    Report Reply
  • Knottie67936944Knottie67936944 member
    First Comment
    I have no idea what I am doing! haha! Good thing I have until July next year!!! Thank you so much for all the help! I will let husband know and figure things! Thank you again!!!
    image
    Report Reply
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Good luck! We have lots of good advice. If you want to stick around, consider changing your username so we can easily recognize you. Your gif made me laugh, and if you look at the Tech Help board you can find some instructions on how to make them play within your post.




    image
    Report Reply
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    If you are still 10 months out, you really don't even need to choose anyone yet. Give it a few months before you make decisions because you CAN'T undo them.

    Stick around, we can help with lots!
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I had my husband's sister as one of my bridesmaids and loved that she was there with me. Now, I knew her a lot better than you know your future sisters in law. I would definitely talk to you fiance and see how he thinks they would feel. Sometimes, it's best to do something you don't 100% want to do because it is the least drama. I have a coworker who still bitches about how her brother didn't include her in his wedding years ago- but his wife's brother was included. You don't want that to be the lasting impression you make. 
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards