Chit Chat

In need of puppy gifs and soothing mom sounds

BrandNewJBrandNewJ member
250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Chit Chat
A heads up, another depressing post. A year ago on Thursday my best friend died of stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized to practically every organ. She fought for 5 years, went through chemo daily, and underwent 3 separate surgeries before succumbing and passing away. This has truly been the most difficult time of my life. I gained 30 pounds, practically stopped speaking to mutual friends, and frankly, given up a lot of who I used to be to the grief of the past year. I am on depression and anxiety meds which have helped a lot. She was truly my best friend and honestly practically a sister. Her parents have become a second set of parents to me and her sister, my sister. My household was not a wonderful one to grow up in and they always had their door open for me. It was a haven since 9th grade. I am especially grateful because they are not from this country, came here on asylum, and worked extremely hard to provide for their family. I know everything they have done for me has been an added burden, but they have never let me pay them back. They call me their daughter, and I am so thankful for that. This past few weeks, my phone has been blowing up with texts and calls from crying and distraught mutual friends. I completely understand their pain. I am experiencing it too. I have basically become a therapist to my friends, which is fine, because I am actually a therapist, but I am a little hurt that no one has asked me how Im feeling. Not that I expect them too, but this is difficult for me too. Since Ive been placed in this "rock" role, I feel like I need to suppress my feelings and help everyone else. This has obviously hurt me and I have kept a lot inside. I just needed an outlet to give my feelings and I do not feel comfortable approaching these friends who call me, and I would never burden her family with my feelings unless specifically asked. I welcome all puppy gifs, as puppies make me smile. Thank you for being my outlet. ETA: I had paragraphs, they disappear no matter what device Im typing on. wth?
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Re: In need of puppy gifs and soothing mom sounds

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend. Here is some cuteness for you!

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  • I'm mobile and can't gif but I offer tons of support. I'm so very sorry about your friend.
  • Sorry, no gif on mobile but i am the rock in my circle and understand what you are saying. Evreyone comes to you for soothing sounds of calmness but no one sees you are hurting. Vent away!
    Would you like to talk about your friend? Would you like to talk about how mad/sad/angry her loss makes you feel? How can we help? (i am in ohio again taking care of my brother so I am in and out, but there are extraordinary ladies here who are great listeners)
  • So sorry about your friend. Here is my own puppy.

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  • kmmssg said:
    Sorry, no gif on mobile but i am the rock in my circle and understand what you are saying. Evreyone comes to you for soothing sounds of calmness but no one sees you are hurting. Vent away! Would you like to talk about your friend? Would you like to talk about how mad/sad/angry her loss makes you feel? How can we help? (i am in ohio again taking care of my brother so I am in and out, but there are extraordinary ladies here who are great listeners)

    Thank you everyone, some of these had me literally laughing out loud. @kmmssg‌, thank you. Come Thursday, I just might take you up on that.
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  • There is nothing, nothing in the world harder than having to say goodbye to someone you love. You know this. And it changes who you are and hurts you in ways that you didn't know could hurt. 
    You won't always feel this intense pain, but right now it's terrible.
    It's okay not to help other people now. 
    Take care of you. It's okay to put a message on your phone to say: not up to calls today, leave a message. People will live through it.  Fuzzy blankets, soothing foods, extra rest, a new book- treat yourself as if you had a flu, and everyone else can take care of themselves for a while. Your mind needs a rest. Grief wears you out physically and mentally (and every other way possible) and you need to take a break. New pajamas or a good new pillow help, as weird as that sounds. 

    I have no puppy gifs, but highly recommend them.
  • @ohannabelle‌ thank you, I really needed to hear that's it's okay to care for myself first. I haven't picked up my phone all day. It's been quite cathartic.
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  • I'm so sorry that you have such a huge loss to deal with. Cancer is such a horrible thing and it's a very emotional process to watch someone you love battle it. You absolutely need to take care of yourself and put yourself first every so often. You are no help to anyone if you are not in the right place!!! Not to mention you have your own life that you need to live and maintain.

     







  • BrandNewJ said:
    kmmssg said:
    Sorry, no gif on mobile but i am the rock in my circle and understand what you are saying. Evreyone comes to you for soothing sounds of calmness but no one sees you are hurting. Vent away! Would you like to talk about your friend? Would you like to talk about how mad/sad/angry her loss makes you feel? How can we help? (i am in ohio again taking care of my brother so I am in and out, but there are extraordinary ladies here who are great listeners)

    Thank you everyone, some of these had me literally laughing out loud. @kmmssg‌, thank you. Come Thursday, I just might take you up on that.
    If it will help you then please just post a big ol post to get it out of your system.  While it doesn't take away your loss, it can be very cathartic.  I hope you will page me if you post - I would like to be supportive as you go through this. I have lost a number of immediate family to cancer and it really changes who you are.  A good friend is no different than family, it breaks your heart.
  • I spoke to her mom this morning, and just hearing her voice was so wonderful. I literally felt weight off my shoulders. The schedule is set for Thursday, it will be from 10:30am until after dinner. I texted it to my friends who wanted to come to my house, with her permission of course, and now I don't have to worry about anything except being there for my second family. Especially because I know really only 2-3 of those people will come. The funeral itself didn't seem real. It felt like a play. I'm wondering how this will be a year later. I went to her plot with her sister about a month ago before she left for law school and I truly felt the gravity of the situation. The soil was setting back into the ground, so you could still see the outline, that felt real. I miss her a lot and think about her daily. I'm adding this because it is a wedding website, but when she was in remission for almost a year in the middle of the 5 years we were talking to each other a lot our dream weddings because we both had serious boyfriends. Mine is going to be my fiancé very soon. I wish she were here so we could be excited for each other and go through the process together. She won't even see the ring, let alone be there. I'm glad at least I have my boyfriend with me. He's taking Thursday off to stay with me and drive. Thank god for him and his kind heart. It's going to be quite the day.
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