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NWR - Would you guys let this one go? You can tell me yes . . . .

LabLove86LabLove86 member
500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
edited September 2014 in Chit Chat
So my 10 yr Highschool Reunion is in a couple months.

BF had some really awful experiences in HS and doesn't want to do anything that has any connection to high school at all. He didn't go to his own reunion 3 yrs ago.

However - this will not be held in a school, we didn't go to school together, the chances of him seeing anyone he knew would be slim-none. 

Of course I really want him to come with me, I love him and want to show him off. But I understand this would cause him anxiety and he wouldn't have any fun. If I told him it was really important to me he would come with me, but I know he doesn't want to. 


Slight Reunion background - they initially had it at a place in the middle of the city, while the venue is really nice and generally parties there are awesome - its a bitch to park, and it would have been out of my price range anyway (would have been $150 for both of us to attend) so I declined with it being so close to the holidays. Enough people declined due to cost so they found a new venue, w/ a free parking lot, and the cost is less than half per person. So now I would like to go - the biggest question is whether or not to ask BF to be uncomfortable for me.

Sidenote - he has willingly gone to all weddings, family functions, any other things since we started dating with me (and I with him). Its just the whole previous high school experiences that make him hesitant with this.


Any input appreciated!!!


ETA - I would be fine letting him bow out of this - I would just want him there for purely selfish reasons. Its an open bar - and he said he would come pick me/friends up.
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Re: NWR - Would you guys let this one go? You can tell me yes . . . .

  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Honestly, I would probably go by myself. My reunion was 4 years ago, and very few people brought their husbands let alone their boyfriends. Have a good time with your friends, and have him pick you up after. Then you can both be happy.
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  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My 20 year is next month, and FI wants to go just because he hasn't had the opportunity to go to his since he enlisted in the Army after graduation.  They sent out a poll, and lots of classmates aren't bringing their spouses or partners though, so I think if it's that uncomfortable to your FI, it's okay if he doesn't go. 
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think your BF's hang-up about this is a little over the top (he had a bad experience in high school so can't have anything to do with any high school ever? He doesn't even know these people!) and probably something he should figure out how to deal with it.

    That said I'd probably just go by myself. High school reunions aren't really fun for people who don't know anyone there anyway.


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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    At my 10 year, barely anyone had spouses there, unless they went to HS with us.  No one had really changed, since we were all just finishing Uni and looking for work.  I'd give him a pass if he really wants it, but make him pick you up for sure.  

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  • LabLove86LabLove86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yeah - I think you guys are right.

    And I've thought about the fact that he'll have to follow me around, and listen to me tell the same story over and over. 

    He's met my friends that are truly important to me. These guys I haven't seen in 10 years . . . . I mean - I haven't seen them in 10 years.

    I'll give him the good news the next time its brought up. ;)
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Mine was 2 years ago and I didn't go.

    Fi hated school and left early, so he doesn't have any reunions. I doubt he'd have an interest in going to mine either. I think it's fine. I mean, obviously I'd prefer if he wanted to go with me, so I get feeling a little bummed. But it's really not a big deal in the big scheme of things.
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  • ohannabelleohannabelle member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    As long as he doesn't mind your going, I'd give him a pass. Just one. ;)
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  • LabLove86LabLove86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    JennyColada said:
    Mine was 2 years ago and I didn't go. Fi hated school and left early, so he doesn't have any reunions. I doubt he'd have an interest in going to mine either. I think it's fine. I mean, obviously I'd prefer if he wanted to go with me, so I get feeling a little bummed. But it's really not a big deal in the big scheme of things.
    I agree, there are much bigger hills to die on.
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  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I agree with PPs. I'd just go alone and not make anything out of it, especially since this isn't part of a pattern of bailing on you in social situations. Good luck!
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  • NdelibleNdelible member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    I went with BFF.  It was great.  Plus, it's so boring for people who weren't there.  Do you have a GF you can hang with?  It was a great solution, because neither of us felt guilty leaving the other to catch up with individuals.
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I went to my 10 year reunion solo, and I don't regret it whatsoever. Many of the married couples brought their spouses, but my high school class was incestuous. There were at least 5 couples where both the husband & wife were in our class.




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  • wandajune6wandajune6 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I wish I hadn't taken my ex to my 10 year reunion. He was miserable and it made me miserable.

    As long as he's ok with you going alone, I'd drop it. But I do think he's being a bit overdramatic.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    My next HS reunion will be my 50th.  Interesting how every ten years has been different.

    The 20 year reunion was all about the "cool people".  (Not included in that group)  Some of us were noticing that they didn't look so cool anymore, and many of them were unhappy with their lives.  Some were still under the impression that they were special people.  The rest of us watched our kids play around, and laughed.  The school bully's son was beating up kids, just like his Dad used to do.  My daughter decked him.

    The 30 year reunion was missing a lot of the cool people.  Instead the kids who had made it were featured.  Two of the quiet ones had become VERY successful in the business world.  Interesting!

    The 40th year reunion was missing all the formerly cool people.  Health issues (like mine) were noticeable.  I attended sporting a buzz cut, courtesy of cancer chemo treatment.  Everybody talked about their grandchildren.  A few talked about retirement.

    My point is, that your husband should reconsider future reunions.  It is eye-opening!  The captain of the football team weighs 350 pounds and has been divorced four times.  The "fat girl" lost weight, and she is gorgeous!  The school genius blew his mind on drugs in college - sad.  The class creep is now a rich, Jewish doctor with a lovely wife and kids.
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    Go, and have fun with your friends now. Those memories will be fun for you and your friends, even if your boyfriend doesn't fit in (I've been to plenty of events without H, and with friends-frankly, sometimes I'd have more fun without!) Someone implied that success doesn't matter or something since everyone is so close out of "uni" or something like that...where I'm from, college takes normally 4 years, 5 if extended (more if extenuating circumstances like ill family or whatever)-I found it odd to imply that nobody had careers bc everyone had just finished "uni". Anyways, I just thought it was weird without noting extenuating circumstances as being the norm.
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  • NdelibleNdelible member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    CMGragain said:
    My next HS reunion will be my 50th.  Interesting how every ten years has been different.

    The 20 year reunion was all about the "cool people".  (Not included in that group)  Some of us were noticing that they didn't look so cool anymore, and many of them were unhappy with their lives.  Some were still under the impression that they were special people.  The rest of us watched our kids play around, and laughed.  The school bully's son was beating up kids, just like his Dad used to do.  My daughter decked him.

    The 30 year reunion was missing a lot of the cool people.  Instead the kids who had made it were featured.  Two of the quiet ones had become VERY successful in the business world.  Interesting!

    The 40th year reunion was missing all the formerly cool people.  Health issues (like mine) were noticeable.  I attended sporting a buzz cut, courtesy of cancer chemo treatment.  Everybody talked about their grandchildren.  A few talked about retirement.

    My point is, that your husband should reconsider future reunions.  It is eye-opening!  The captain of the football team weighs 350 pounds and has been divorced four times.  The "fat girl" lost weight, and she is gorgeous!  The school genius blew his mind on drugs in college - sad.  The class creep is now a rich, Jewish doctor with a lovely wife and kids.

    I'm confused.  Was he a Jewish creep then or did he find religion after med school?  
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  • afox007afox007 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Since he happily attends other social events with you, I would let this one slide. My only concern is if he wants zero to do with high school, even one thats not his own, will this same thing happen if you have kids. Dad doesn't show up for his son's first football game, hides in the living room while his daughter gets ready for prom, is out of town for graduation?
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My friends and I all attended our reunion without our SOs. Actually, come to think of it, I don't really remember anyone being there with a wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend. 
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I just got invited to a FB group for my 10th. I honestly and truly give no fucks. None of these people (in my graduating class of 300) were friendly to me then, so why the hell would I want to pay money for a ticket and a cash bar to hang out with them now?

    H, on the other hand, attended his (with a class of 24) two years ago and they went bowling and evidently had a good time. I couldn't get enough time off to go with since this happened a three-hour drive away.

    I definitely wouldn't push him to go if he doesn't want to.
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd give him a pass on this one since you're perfectly fine with going solo. He'll definitely be happier that way and you'll have a DD --- a win-win! 
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  • LabLove86LabLove86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    @afox007 - those are points I've honestly never even thought of. 

    I would like to think he won't be the type of father to do that. 

    And he has said that if our future children are into sports/clubs/activities - he will be supportive of whatever it is that they choose because his father was only supportive of the sports that he chose to be supportive of (he eventually came around - but his behavior in the formative years make up BFs mind for his future children). So I"m hoping he'll get over himself. 


    @CMGragain - interesting points! I'll be sure to raise them when its time for his next reunion! Plus - if he continues on the same career path he is on now - he will be extremely respected and successful by his 20 year - and I'm sure he would love to show that to some of the people that made his life hell all those years ago (The "cool" kids you were talking about . . . . . ).
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