TY note/gift question

Re: TY note/gift question

• allispain member

  

  September 2014

  
  

  Simky906 said:

  Couple questions for you knotties on how to handle these gift situations. 

  
  

  1. We got a notice from our Macy's registry that some of our crystal glasses have been purchased but are on back order and won't arrive until for 4-5 weeks. Should we for ahead and send them a TY note, mentioning that the items will arrive next month and we look forward to using them? Or do we wait until we get them? I feel weird waiting since all our other TY notes from our wedding last week are already done. 

  
  

  2. We went to exchange an item yesterday and the registry ladies gave us a printout that shows who bought us gifts. One of our friends purchased a set of drinking glasses but at the wedding we got a card from her. If she changed her mind or something that's totally fine, but I'm also worried now that her gift got misplaced. Would it be ok to send her a note thanking her for the sweet card? Or is that something I should mention in person next time I see her, that we really appreciated her card?

  1. You shouldn't send a TY note until the gift is in hand. Surely the people who purchase an item that's on back order also see a notice that says it won't ship until X.

  
  

  2. Send a TY just for the card that you received and for her presence at the wedding. Maybe she ended up having to return the gift for financial reasons or something else.

  
  

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  September 2014

  For #1, I see nothing wrong with sending the note now. I know what it's like to be in that rhythm and wanting to get them all out. That's just my opinion.

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• NYCMercedes member

  

  September 2014

  Normally you wait until you have the gift in hand until you thank the person. In this case, if you're really itching to get them out, then it wouldn't be any major faux pas to send the notes now. 

  
  

  As far as the other person with no gift, it's not customary to thank someone for their card as it tends to look gift grabby. Maybe they forgot the gift at home. I wouldn't do anything for a few weeks and see if the gift doesn't surface at her home or at the venue. After that, I'd probably ask her about it, referencing the registry. This is just another point of view and I could totally be all wet.

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• rsbloom member

  

  September 2014

  1: Wait till you have the gift, it could get lost/stolen in the mail.  

  
  

  2: Thank her for the card and her presence.  If she brings up the gift, then you can look into it.  

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• Simky906 member

  

  September 2014

  Thanks for all the replies ladies! I think I'll go ahead and send a TY note for 1 and for 2 I'll just thank her for the card and her presence next time I see her.

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• jacques27 member

  

  September 2014

  Ooooh - don't send the card for #1.  There was just a post on here last week about how someone wrote out a thank you card for a gift they didn't have in hand based on registry info and then something happened to the gift and now they have to go back all embarrassed and admit they don't actually have the gift, even though they wrote out a card as if they did. 
  
  Also, back-ordered 4-5 weeks could somehow turn into 6-8 weeks, or 10-12 weeks, or discovering that the glasses are discontinued and they won't be getting them in again at all.  And s/he might decide to cancel the order and get you something else instead of wait.
  
  Honestly, before registry information was updated real time and kept track of who got what - people somehow managed to wait until the gift was in hand and people were willing to wait for the thank you card until gift was in hand.  Just because you have access to that information now in advance doesn't mean it's a good idea to jump the gun.
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2014

  If, as a gift giver, I got a notice that my gift would be backordered for several weeks, I'd cancel that order and purchase something else instead.  Don't send the note until you have a gift in hand.

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• Simky906 member

  

  September 2014

  Good point with the back order; I'll wait on that one! Regarding our other guest she just texted me tonight asking when she can bring it over. Really excited because she bought us everyday drinking glasses and since I broke one of ours just before the wedding I was really hoping to get this gift!

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• perdonami member

  

  September 2014

  OP, don't send a gift till you have the gift in hand. If an item is returned on a registry, it will still appear as purchased. I stupidly sent a thank you card for a gift I didn't receive and it turned into an ugly situation. Just wait till you have gift in hand. If they had to return it for whatever which reason, they will feel bad they weren't able to give it to you and the once kind gesture is ruined.

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