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balletbride0316 · September 2014

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mileybangerz · September 2014

annabanana2016 said:

My fiance and I have been wedding planning for about six months now and are finally getting into the nitty gritty. I established my bridesmaids long ago and threw a small party for them and gave them personalized wine bottles with their names asking them to participate.

Since he's the "man" he felt it wasn't necessary to go so above and beyond, although I've offered a number of really cool and unique "asking" ideas just to make them feel special.

Our engagement party is coming up next month and we have invited all our friends, including his groomsmen, over social media to our party. None of his groomsmen responded on the official event page. My fiance then went as far as writing a personal message to them, inviting them and reassuring that they WERE to be his groomsmen and that he'd love to have them there. Because facebook allows you to tell when people 'read' the message, he can see that many of them have read it without responding. He's now questioning whether they are even up to the task of being part of the wedding, let alone if they are deserving of it.

Being a social butterfly, he has many friends who would love to stand by his side on his wedding day. Even though they weren't his first choice, he's beginning to question if he should ditch the men he's been friends with the "longest" and instead go with those that show they are actually excited for our wedding.

I am not sure which way to help him....reassure him that these are his friends of his childhood, and that they wouldn't let him down? (even though it seems it could be a possibility in the long run), or elect new groomsmen, who we do not see that often, and maybe i don't necessarily envision as part of our wedding, but that would jump at the opportunity to take part in our day?

Your man needs to relax. Make him a martini, give him a blow job, and tell him to keep his friends as they are.

zitiqueen · September 2014

annabanana2016 said:

My fiance and I have been wedding planning for about six months now and are finally getting into the nitty gritty. I established my bridesmaids long ago and threw a small party for them and gave them personalized wine bottles with their names asking them to participate.

Since he's the "man" he felt it wasn't necessary to go so above and beyond, although I've offered a number of really cool and unique "asking" ideas just to make them feel special.

Our engagement party is coming up next month and we have invited all our friends, including his groomsmen, over social media to our party. None of his groomsmen responded on the official event page. My fiance then went as far as writing a personal message to them, inviting them and reassuring that they WERE to be his groomsmen and that he'd love to have them there. Because facebook allows you to tell when people 'read' the message, he can see that many of them have read it without responding. He's now questioning whether they are even up to the task of being part of the wedding, let alone if they are deserving of it.

Being a social butterfly, he has many friends who would love to stand by his side on his wedding day. Even though they weren't his first choice, he's beginning to question if he should ditch the men he's been friends with the "longest" and instead go with those that show they are actually excited for our wedding.

I am not sure which way to help him....reassure him that these are his friends of his childhood, and that they wouldn't let him down? (even though it seems it could be a possibility in the long run), or elect new groomsmen, who we do not see that often, and maybe i don't necessarily envision as part of our wedding, but that would jump at the opportunity to take part in our day?

Newsflash -- nobody is going to be as excited about your wedding as you two are. You know, because people have lives. And it's your wedding, not theirs.

Has it ever occurred to him to pick up the phone and actually speak to them? To ask them about their lives, to see how they're doing, to make sure they're okay? To talk to them about things that aren't wedding-related?

Their only responsibility is to show up for the wedding in their pre-determined clothing and smile pretty for the pictures. That's it. Everything else is optional. They have no other duties. To kick them out for not exhibiting the proper level of enthusiasm would be a complete dick move. Members of the bridal party are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, not whoever does the most for you.

Please tell us you're not hosting your own engagement party.

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

Um, you shouldn't be inviting people to your engagement party. That's handled by the host / hostess of the party.

Your FI has already asked them to be in the wedding. Kicking them out would be a friendship ending move and would be completely unjustified (unless they slept with you or killed his dad or something like that).

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

Hey, @annabanana2016, previous posters have quoted you, so your delete was pointless. And the ".." As the thread title gives it away!

NYCMercedes · September 2014

Came for the ..

He should text or pick up the phone to ask them if they want to be groomsman.

CMGragain · September 2014

If the 2016 in her name means that her wedding isn't until 2016, what odds do you give that she will be back complaining that she wants to fire her bridesmaids?
We gave her excellent advice on her other post. Looks like she isn't going to follow it.
No wonder her FI doesn't worry about asking the guys yet!

Maggie0829 · September 2014

I think it is a little late to be having an engagement party to be honest.

sarawifenow · September 2014

chibiyui · September 2014

abbyj700 · September 2014

Why on earth would a guy want to do something cutesy to ask his groomsmen to be in his wedding?

I'm pretty sure my FI asked all of our groomsmen at the bar. They then did shots and teased him mercilessly about the 'ol ball and chain and what they'd be doing for the bachelore party.

levioosa · September 2014

flantastic said:

zitiqueen said:

annabanana2016 said:

My fiance and I have been wedding planning for about six months now and are finally getting into the nitty gritty. I established my bridesmaids long ago and threw a small party for them and gave them personalized wine bottles with their names asking them to participate.

Since he's the "man" he felt it wasn't necessary to go so above and beyond, although I've offered a number of really cool and unique "asking" ideas just to make them feel special.

Our engagement party is coming up next month and we have invited all our friends, including his groomsmen, over social media to our party. None of his groomsmen responded on the official event page. My fiance then went as far as writing a personal message to them, inviting them and reassuring that they WERE to be his groomsmen and that he'd love to have them there. Because facebook allows you to tell when people 'read' the message, he can see that many of them have read it without responding. He's now questioning whether they are even up to the task of being part of the wedding, let alone if they are deserving of it.

Being a social butterfly, he has many friends who would love to stand by his side on his wedding day. Even though they weren't his first choice, he's beginning to question if he should ditch the men he's been friends with the "longest" and instead go with those that show they are actually excited for our wedding.

I am not sure which way to help him....reassure him that these are his friends of his childhood, and that they wouldn't let him down? (even though it seems it could be a possibility in the long run), or elect new groomsmen, who we do not see that often, and maybe i don't necessarily envision as part of our wedding, but that would jump at the opportunity to take part in our day?

Newsflash -- nobody is going to be as excited about your wedding as you two are. You know, because people have lives. And it's your wedding, not theirs.

Has it ever occurred to him to pick up the phone and actually speak to them? To ask them about their lives, to see how they're doing, to make sure they're okay? To talk to them about things that aren't wedding-related?

Their only responsibility is to show up for the wedding in their pre-determined clothing and smile pretty for the pictures. That's it. Everything else is optional. They have no other duties. To kick them out for not exhibiting the proper level of enthusiasm would be a complete dick move. Members of the bridal party are supposed to be your nearest and dearest, not whoever does the most for you.

Please tell us you're not hosting your own engagement party.

Came for the DD.

It occurred to me while reading the bolded that certain people probably do equate "nearest and dearest" with "the people who do the most for me." Yikes.

Yuuuup. I got a text from the Bride the other day that asked when I would be over because she was stressed and "really only had three bridesmaids helping her at that point." She didn't even ask if I was feeling better (I've been ill).

Only thing I could think of was, "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

I didn't say it, of course, but I definitely feel like I don't matter as a person anymore.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

YOU RANG?

Seriously, who wigs out this much over an engagement party? Tell your FI to quit being a baby and go have a beer or something.

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