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Snarky Brides

Help!!!! My Bridesmaid and i have booked the same venue (XP)

msbangor03msbangor03 member
Second Anniversary First Comment
edited September 2014 in Snarky Brides
So here I am horribly torn. I have been engaged since may of 2014.I have been spending all this time looking for venues that fit my idea and our budget. I have looked at 3 different venues in the area we want our wedding but still did not book one due to them not being what I wanted I was coming down to the wire too because things are booking up fast. One of my bridesmaids got engaged 2 weeks ago. She is also planning a barn wedding like me. She told me that she is already looking at venues and one of them was in the area I was searching, that for whatever reasons I did not come across. I went and looked at the venue too and absolutely fell in love with it. I called and spoke with her about looking at it and loving it and that they still had open dates so we had to change from august 8th 2015 to September 19th 2015. She informed me that they had just booked it that day!!!!. I asked her if she would be upset if I booked it too. (I had 2 days left to turn in my deposit) She told me she would not because we share no mutual friends or family that would attend our weddings. I am supposed to take the deposit today and she has now just sent me a message that her and her fiancée spoke last night and they feel that they want their day to be special and they think that being at ours 2 weeks before that will take away from their special day! She wont return my calls, and im supposed to take the deposit today to save the date!!!!! Am I wrong for booking the same place? Should I let her have her day and search somewhere else? I just don't know what I should do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Help!!!! My Bridesmaid and i have booked the same venue (XP)

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't understand what the problem is. Unless you booked it for the same day at the same time? 

    You asked her if she minded and she said no. So....again, what's the problem? 

    steph861
  • Oh thank you...I will do that...im just desperate for some advice too.
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I will never, ever understand why things like this are a legitimate problem.
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    novella1186
  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited September 2014
    Ugh. This is a "her" problem, not a "you" problem. You don't need to bend over backwards to appease her. Hell, you already went out of your way in running it by her first. Personally, I'd feel shitty telling somebody that I didn't want them to have their wedding at the same venue as me because then my wedding wouldn't be "special". You know what makes a wedding day special? A wedding. Not a venue, not a theme, and not a centrepiece. Just a wedding. Everything else is window dressing. ETA I promise I had paragraphs...
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    kikstizzy
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    There are two wedding venues in my home town. 75% of people I went to highschool with and both my siblings have got married in one or the other.

    There are no 'dibs' on venues. You were polite and asked and thats more than you needed to do. 

    Book The venue. Enjoy your day. Hopefully she will see how silly she's being and get over it.
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    sarahuflkikstizzynovella1186
  • You want the venue, you book it.  End of story.  I seriously don't get how this ruins anyone's special day.  Her day will be special to her, and your day will be special to you.  The fact that isn't returning any calls to you shows a certain level or maturity she's lacking.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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    [Deleted User]
  • If she wants to be crabby about it, it's on her.  You asked her and she said she didn't have a problem with it, she can't change her mind now.
  • Seriously, like PPs said--book it and she can deal.  Her wedding day is as special as she and her FI make it.  It has no bearing on you and where you have your wedding.
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    image

    she can get oooooover it.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    KatieinBklnslothiegalashley8918
  • Book it, girl! And don't feel badly about it, either.  I've lurked for quite a bit and you will see that the ladies on here will tell you that you get ONE DAY, and as long as your one day isn't on her one day, they you are FINE! She's overreacting. 

    You seem very sweet to be taking into consideration her feelings on the matter, and it was very mature of you to ask her permission. She originally said she didn't mind, so book it.  She doesn't get to claim the entire month of September 2015 as her wedding month. She gets one day and that is it.
    PineapplePopsicles
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Basically everything PPs said. She is being absurd.
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  • She is being ridiculous. At least her pettiness will save you the cost of two plates!
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    wandajune6
  • I would be over the moon if any of my friends had their wedding at the same venue we did. I was so excited about the food and drinks, and oh my god the desserts. I talked about banana-rama cake for weeks. On our wedding day I had too many butterflies to eat, barely touched my dinner, forgot to drink, and never even got to try the banana-rama cake because I was busy saying goodbye to the people going home to put the kids to bed. I dream about crashing a wedding at that place so I can eat all the things I missed out on at my own wedding.
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    thisismynickname2kikstizzywrigleyvillesarahufl
  • So here I am horribly torn. I have been engaged since may of 2014.I have been spending all this time looking for venues that fit my idea and our budget. I have looked at 3 different venues in the area we want our wedding but still did not book one due to them not being what I wanted I was coming down to the wire too because things are booking up fast. One of my bridesmaids got engaged 2 weeks ago. She is also planning a barn wedding like me. She told me that she is already looking at venues and one of them was in the area I was searching, that for whatever reasons I did not come across. I went and looked at the venue too and absolutely fell in love with it. I called and spoke with her about looking at it and loving it and that they still had open dates so we had to change from august 8th 2015 to September 19th 2015. She informed me that they had just booked it that day!!!!. I asked her if she would be upset if I booked it too. (I had 2 days left to turn in my deposit) She told me she would not because we share no mutual friends or family that would attend our weddings. I am supposed to take the deposit today and she has now just sent me a message that her and her fiancée spoke last night and they feel that they want their day to be special and they think that being at ours 2 weeks before that will take away from their special day! She wont return my calls, and im supposed to take the deposit today to save the date!!!!! Am I wrong for booking the same place? Should I let her have her day and search somewhere else? I just don't know what I should do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Book it.  She can get over it.  As we always say, you get ONE DAY.  She gets one day, you get one day.  If anything, being at your wedding 2 weeks before her own should make her more excited!!  Geez.  Book it, and don't feel bad. At all.
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Your friend is being a nutjob. 

    I mean, you could find another venue. You could appease her. But would you really feel right about it? I mean, is your relationship with her ever going to be the same anyway? Why live with a damaged relationship (which she damaged, btw, by being a nutjob) AND get stuck with a venue you don't like as much? Sounds like a lose-lose.

    I'd just book it without saying anything to her. If she asks, just say "Oh, I booked it after you said it was ok. How exciting that we are both getting married in the same place!" Let her deal. If she freaks out, you'll know that she's got some growing up to do. It doesn't mean you have to hate her, but it probably means your friendship is diverging a little bit anyway. 
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    beetheryabbyj700steph861levioosa
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You know, I love my venue so much that I'd actually be overjoyed if one of my friends booked it. Because I'd be so happy to attend another wedding there that wasn't my own. 

    Liatris2010
  • I looked at two wedding venues that other friends were married at because their weddings were so amazing that I knew it would be a good place.

    And they were both totally cool with it because they're not crazy.

    This is not a real problem and you don't owe that girl shit.
    I'm out.
    ashley8918[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Omg, this is ridiculous.  Book the venue.  She gets one day.  You don't share any family or friends.  

    She probably would have been upset that you are "sharing" her month regardless.  Go with the venue you love.  


    image
  • thanks ladies. I truly appreciate the advice! and after hearing multiple opinions on here ( I cross posted it) and speaking with my mom I have def decided to book the venue! It was never anything intentional and it would in NO way impact her day.
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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