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would it be rude

mrstrevor3mrstrevor3 member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Would it be rude to invite some people from the office and not invite others?
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Re: would it be rude

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mrstrevor3 said:

    Would it be rude to invite some people from the office and not invite others?

    It all depends. How many people are on your team or in your office? Do you socialize with them outside of work? Are you talking about inviting everyone but one person?




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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think it depends on the ratio 9/10 invited... yes, rude. 10/25, fine. 
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  • mrstrevor3mrstrevor3 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    sarahbear31 said:
    Would it be rude to invite some people from the office and not invite others?
    It all depends. How many people are on your team or in your office? Do you socialize with them outside of work? Are you talking about inviting everyone but one person?
    I'm asking on behalf of my FI. There office has about 8 guys, he really only wants to invite 2 of them and his boss (the owner). He does not like a couple of the other guys and the remainder he does not really know.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    mrstrevor3 said:
    sarahbear31 said:
    Would it be rude to invite some people from the office and not invite others?
    It all depends. How many people are on your team or in your office? Do you socialize with them outside of work? Are you talking about inviting everyone but one person?
    I'm asking on behalf of my FI. There office has about 8 guys, he really only wants to invite 2 of them and his boss (the owner). He does not like a couple of the other guys and the remainder he does not really know.
    With only 8 guys I feel like it is an all or nothing thing.  Word will get around that 2 of the 8 were invited and then it could lead to some awkward and uncomfortable weeks/months ahead for your FI.

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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I don't think it is rude. If he only has a relationship outside of work with 2 of his coworkers then there is no reason to invite the others. I would mention to the ones invited that the rest of the office is not so that they don't bring up how much fun everyone at XYZ company is going to have at your wedding. That would be awkward. I would also make sure the invitations are mailed to their homes and not passes out at work. Otherwise, I think you are in the clear.
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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think 2/8 (excluding the boss in this - I feel like the boss would be a given anyway) is acceptable.  Especially if he hangs out with those two outside of work and not the others.  If I were one of the six not invited and know that he's friends with the two who are and we're not really friends outside of work, I wouldn't even question not being invited. 

    Now, if he routinely hangs out with all eight - they all hang out and watch football together on the weekends at someone's house and now he's just picking his two favorite, I think that might be awkward.
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  • mrstrevor3mrstrevor3 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Yeah, he barely hangs out with even the 2 guys out of work. he can't stand 2 of them, and the others he does not have anything in common with. Thank you for the advice. I think that we will Invite the 2 guys, the boss and their SO
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maggie0829 said:
    mrstrevor3 said:
    sarahbear31 said:
    Would it be rude to invite some people from the office and not invite others?
    It all depends. How many people are on your team or in your office? Do you socialize with them outside of work? Are you talking about inviting everyone but one person?
    I'm asking on behalf of my FI. There office has about 8 guys, he really only wants to invite 2 of them and his boss (the owner). He does not like a couple of the other guys and the remainder he does not really know.
    With only 8 guys I feel like it is an all or nothing thing.  Word will get around that 2 of the 8 were invited and then it could lead to some awkward and uncomfortable weeks/months ahead for your FI.
    2 out of 8 doesn't sound "all or nothing" to me.  Maybe 6 or 7 out of 8, yes, but if the 2 are the only ones he socializes with, I don't think it's going to hurt feelings if the rest aren't invited-especially if this is supposed to be a small, intimate wedding.
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  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    My husband invited only the folks he spent time with outside of work, which also happened to include one of the supervisors but not the other. 

    One person obviously was hurt by not being invited since my husband invited his best friend but neither me or my husband liked this guy nor did my husband ever hang out with him. So, we chose to be a little rude there by choosing to invite a little outside of the social circle. 

    So, my point is to ensure you invite in circles and as long as you do that it should be fine to invite only some and not all co-workers. 
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    OP, your FI sounds like he's doing the right thing in his situation. It totally depends on the group / office dynamics. At my dad's dental office, he had 8 people who worked there. In that case, it was an all-or-nothing approach.




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  • mommyhappymommyhappy member
    First Comment
    Remember... It's your wedding and your day, so invite who you want and not cause it's the right thing to do but because you want them there to celebrate the special day with you. After all you are paying for them to be there and if it's not a face you want to see, don't invite. It's about you , not making everyone else happy.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    mommyhappy said:
    Remember... It's your wedding and your day, so invite who you want and not cause it's the right thing to do but because you want them there to celebrate the special day with you. After all you are paying for them to be there and if it's not a face you want to see, don't invite. It's about you , not making everyone else happy.
    This kind of attitude is what causes people to split up SO. Once you invite guests it's not all about you.

    However, I think inviting 2 of 8 is perfectly acceptable.
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  • mrstrevor3mrstrevor3 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    mommyhappy said:
    Remember... It's your wedding and your day, so invite who you want and not cause it's the right thing to do but because you want them there to celebrate the special day with you. After all you are paying for them to be there and if it's not a face you want to see, don't invite. It's about you , not making everyone else happy.
    Yes,it is mine and my FI's wedding day and we care about proper etiquette.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    mrstrevor3 said:
    mommyhappy said:
    Remember... It's your wedding and your day, so invite who you want and not cause it's the right thing to do but because you want them there to celebrate the special day with you. After all you are paying for them to be there and if it's not a face you want to see, don't invite. It's about you , not making everyone else happy.
    Yes,it is mine and my FI's wedding day and we care about proper etiquette.
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