Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Guest Hotel Check-in vs. Ceremony time

jjtobe10032015jjtobe10032015 member
First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My photographer suggested we have the ceremony by 3:00 in the afternoon in order to get all the pictures we want and not feel rushed. I refuse to do the "first look" but am willing to get girls and guys pictures done before the ceremony, just not together. I was hoping for a 4:00 wedding ceremony so my guests could get checked into the hotel and take the free shuttle to the ceremony. The ceremony/reception venue is all in one place, but the hotel is about a 15 minute drive and guest check-in is at 3:00 also. Most of our guests live within 1-2 hours and will only be staying in the hotel for the night since we will also be providing a free shuttle to and from the wedding. I asked the hotel if my guests could get early check-in and he said he can't promise anything until the day of. What to do? Stick with the 4:00 and rush through pictures during cocktail hour or make guests wait to check into hotel once they get there after the wedding ends? I'm struggling!  I want my guests to have an awesome time and not have to worry about the drive home but yet I understand that it might be a rush the later we start things. I'm struggling!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Guest Hotel Check-in vs. Ceremony time

  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jjtobe2014 said:
    My photographer suggested we have the ceremony by 3:00 in the afternoon in order to get all the pictures we want and not feel rushed. I refuse to do the "first look" but am willing to get girls and guys pictures done before the ceremony, just not together. I was hoping for a 4:00 wedding ceremony so my guests could get checked into the hotel and take the free shuttle to the ceremony. The ceremony/reception venue is all in one place, but the hotel is about a 15 minute drive and guest check-in is at 3:00 also. Most of our guests live within 1-2 hours and will only be staying in the hotel for the night since we will also be providing a free shuttle to and from the wedding. I asked the hotel if my guests could get early check-in and he said he can't promise anything until the day of. What to do? Stick with the 4:00 and rush through pictures during cocktail hour or make guests wait to check into hotel once they get there after the wedding ends? I'm struggling!  I want my guests to have an awesome time and not have to worry about the drive home but yet I understand that it might be a rush the later we start things. I'm struggling!
    I am confused.  If you got married at 3pm you would still only have an hour for pictures because anything more then an hour between ceremony and reception is rude to your guests.  And an hour for pictures is plenty.  H and I didn't do a first look and we barely did any pre-ceremony pictures but we still managed to get a shit ton of photos done during cocktail hour with time to spare.  Honestly, it sounds like your photographer isn't all that great because an experienced photographer knows how to get the shots in the allotted time, not request you start your ceremony an hour earlier.

    As for your guests, it is their responsibility to figure out check-in times and such.  They will either be able to check in before your ceremony or they won't.  They are big boys and girls and can figure this out on their own.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    jjtobe2014 said:
    My photographer suggested we have the ceremony by 3:00 in the afternoon in order to get all the pictures we want and not feel rushed. I refuse to do the "first look" but am willing to get girls and guys pictures done before the ceremony, just not together. I was hoping for a 4:00 wedding ceremony so my guests could get checked into the hotel and take the free shuttle to the ceremony. The ceremony/reception venue is all in one place, but the hotel is about a 15 minute drive and guest check-in is at 3:00 also. Most of our guests live within 1-2 hours and will only be staying in the hotel for the night since we will also be providing a free shuttle to and from the wedding. I asked the hotel if my guests could get early check-in and he said he can't promise anything until the day of. What to do? Stick with the 4:00 and rush through pictures during cocktail hour or make guests wait to check into hotel once they get there after the wedding ends? I'm struggling!  I want my guests to have an awesome time and not have to worry about the drive home but yet I understand that it might be a rush the later we start things. I'm struggling!
    Well, whether you have a 3pm or 4pm ceremony really doesn't matter with regards to photography, as the cocktail HOUR/reception needs to start immediately after your ceremony. So let's say hypothetically your ceremony is 20 minutes, for a 3pm wedding, cocktail hour would start at 3:20 and your reception would start at 4:20. If it was 4, it would be 4:20 cocktail hour and 5:20 reception start. So whether you start your wedding at 3 or 4 is moot as it pertains to photography. You have an hour for photos no matter what.

    If you are suggesting having a  gap or longer cocktail time for photos, then no, there is no polite way to do it. If you need more than an the length of cocktail hour for photos, you have to do a first look, or have a photo session at a later date. 

    With the check in time, I would suggest doing a 4pm ceremony. I  would not want to leave the ceremony site, check in, and then come back for the reception. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    A good host prioritizes her guests over her photographs.

    If you move the wedding up to 3pm then your guests will not only have to wait to check in, but they will have to endure an hour gap, correct? If you would not have a gap I don't see how it increases the allotted photo time.

    If your photos are that important then you should rethink doing the first look. Otherwise get the photos you can during cocktail hour.

    Keep it t 4pm - Your guests will appreciate you not making them haul their luggage in at 11pm, after waiting not he shuttle, then waiting in line to check in. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • Options
    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is there a reason you still can't do all of the pictures (minus you and groom, and both of you and families/WP) before the ceremony?  Do the bridal pictures, Groom and groomsmen pictures before, have the ceremony at 4, and then do the bride/group/full WP/family pictures during cocktail hour.  It should work out just fine.  

    Am I reading that the photographer basically wants two hours to do pictures after the 3 pm ceremony?  Don't do that.  


    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jjtobe2014 said:
    My photographer suggested we have the ceremony by 3:00 in the afternoon in order to get all the pictures we want and not feel rushed. I refuse to do the "first look" but am willing to get girls and guys pictures done before the ceremony, just not together. I was hoping for a 4:00 wedding ceremony so my guests could get checked into the hotel and take the free shuttle to the ceremony. The ceremony/reception venue is all in one place, but the hotel is about a 15 minute drive and guest check-in is at 3:00 also. Most of our guests live within 1-2 hours and will only be staying in the hotel for the night since we will also be providing a free shuttle to and from the wedding. I asked the hotel if my guests could get early check-in and he said he can't promise anything until the day of. What to do? Stick with the 4:00 and rush through pictures during cocktail hour or make guests wait to check into hotel once they get there after the wedding ends? I'm struggling!  I want my guests to have an awesome time and not have to worry about the drive home but yet I understand that it might be a rush the later we start things. I'm struggling!
    I would do your timeline like this:

    2:30 or 3pm - Pictures
           - just you with your BMs / just BMs
           - just him with his GMs / just GMs
           - just you with your family
           - just him with his family
           - basically any photos that don't involve the two of you seeing each other
    4pm - ceremony and receiving line (if having)
    4:30 - 5:30 - cocktail hour for guests
    4:30 - 5:30 - Pictures
           - family formals w/ B&G
           - WP formals w/ B&G
           - B&G photos
    5:30 - B&G/WP introductions into reception
    Then everything else

    Your photographer should be able to capture family formals, WP formals and B&G photos in one hour. There's absolutely no reason they can't do that unless you're wanting to travel around town, go to a bunch of different places, etc. Then it's up to you to make the necessary changes so you don't have a ridiculous gap.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    crackktheskyycrackktheskyy member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    jjtobe2014 said:
    My photographer suggested we have the ceremony by 3:00 in the afternoon in order to get all the pictures we want and not feel rushed. I refuse to do the "first look" but am willing to get girls and guys pictures done before the ceremony, just not together. I was hoping for a 4:00 wedding ceremony so my guests could get checked into the hotel and take the free shuttle to the ceremony. The ceremony/reception venue is all in one place, but the hotel is about a 15 minute drive and guest check-in is at 3:00 also. Most of our guests live within 1-2 hours and will only be staying in the hotel for the night since we will also be providing a free shuttle to and from the wedding. I asked the hotel if my guests could get early check-in and he said he can't promise anything until the day of. What to do? Stick with the 4:00 and rush through pictures during cocktail hour or make guests wait to check into hotel once they get there after the wedding ends? I'm struggling!  I want my guests to have an awesome time and not have to worry about the drive home but yet I understand that it might be a rush the later we start things. I'm struggling!
    Usually hotels will say that they can't promise early check in, but often guests are fine to check in early. It will sort of be contingent on whether the hotel is totally booked up the night before so if you're getting married on a busy weekend, I'd keep that under consideration.

    The hotel I contracted with said that in the event that guests arrive early and their rooms are not quite ready, our guests are welcome to use the hotel spa to freshen up and get dressed and ready for the wedding. The bellhops are happy to store their luggage if they don't want to keep it in the car until rooms are available. 

    Could you talk to your hotel about any of these options? 

    Also, if your ceremony and reception are in one place, how would your timeline look if you do have a 3:00pm ceremony? What time would cocktail hour start and how long is your ceremony? If it's going to cause you a gap, I'd stick with the 4:00pm time. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jjtobe10032015jjtobe10032015 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Thank you all!! I never thought that people would have to bring their luggage on the shuttle if they wanted a free/sober driver!! A 4:00 ceremony it is!!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Why would anyone need to bring their luggage on the shuttle?  They would either leave their luggage in their car which would be parked at the hotel or they would take their luggage inside the hotel and store it with the bellhop or, if they are lucky, be able to check in early.  There would be zero reason for them to bring it with them to the ceremony/reception.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    jjtobe10032015jjtobe10032015 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    If they couldn't check-in to the hotel, they would drive themselves to the wedding and if they wanted to get on the shuttle at the end of the night, they would need to bring their luggage on the shuttle to get there things to the hotel. And another thought, they would have to get their car from the venue the following morning!
    Report Reply
  • Options
    crackktheskyycrackktheskyy member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    jjtobe2014 said:
    If they couldn't check-in to the hotel, they would drive themselves to the wedding and if they wanted to get on the shuttle at the end of the night, they would need to bring their luggage on the shuttle to get there things to the hotel. And another thought, they would have to get their car from the venue the following morning!
    Why would anyone drive to the wedding if they couldn't check into the hotel? Does the hotel have a parking lot? I don't understand -- if it were me I would just leave my luggage in my car in the hotel parking lot, hop on the shuttle, and take the shuttle back to the hotel at the end of the night, when I would finally check in. I'm confused. I think I'm missing something here.
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    jjtobe2014 said:

    If they couldn't check-in to the hotel, they would drive themselves to the wedding and if they wanted to get on the shuttle at the end of the night, they would need to bring their luggage on the shuttle to get there things to the hotel. And another thought, they would have to get their car from the venue the following morning!

    Or they could park at the hotel, leave luggage in the car, hop on the shuttle and attend the wedding.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    misshart00 said:
    If they couldn't check-in to the hotel, they would drive themselves to the wedding and if they wanted to get on the shuttle at the end of the night, they would need to bring their luggage on the shuttle to get there things to the hotel. And another thought, they would have to get their car from the venue the following morning!
    Or they could park at the hotel, leave luggage in the car, hop on the shuttle and attend the wedding.
    This.

    Just because you may not be able to check into your room doesn't mean that you can't still take the shuttle.

    And if for some reason you had to take your car to the ceremony/reception venue then you as the driver need to either not drink or watch your alcohol intake so you can drive back to the hotel safely (or designate a DD). This is not hard.  People are adults.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards