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Uninvited guests inviting themselves

shellyp381shellyp381 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have a friend who I haven't seen in years and was not planning to invite to my wedding. But she already made me feel like I have to invite her by telling me that she can't wait to see me on my wedding day and is looking forward to it. I feel bad to not invite her, but at the same time am trying to keep it as small as possible due to costs. Any advice?
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Re: Uninvited guests inviting themselves

  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Also, don't give any excuses. Some people are crazy pants and will offer to pay for their plate. 
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    shellyp381 said:
    I have a friend who I haven't seen in years and was not planning to invite to my wedding. But she already made me feel like I have to invite her by telling me that she can't wait to see me on my wedding day and is looking forward to it. I feel bad to not invite her, but at the same time am trying to keep it as small as possible due to costs. Any advice?
    People do this all the time. They love weddings and they're bold/rude enough to invite themselves. Just ignore her comments and don't talk to her about the wedding. Change the subject every time she brings it up. DO NOT extend a verbal invitation or you need to invite her.

    If you decide to address it head on, just say, "I'm sorry but we couldn't invite everyone. Thanks for understanding. How's Johnny's football team doing?"
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    PP gave you great advice. I had a former friend do this to me as well. I hadn't even seen her in years.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It happens all the time, unfortunately.  People assume that just because you knew each other some time ago, or know each other in some non-intimate capacity, or even just because your paths have crossed, that they are invited (not even entitled to be invited, but automatically invited) to your wedding upon hearing that you are engaged.

    Respond: "Thanks for your good wishes, but it's not possible for us to invite everyone we would like." Offer no explanations or defense.  And if they push it, respond: "Thanks, but as I've already told you that we aren't able to invite everyone we'd like, I'm not comfortable discussing the wedding."
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  • littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    If she's only brought it up once, she might have realized her own mistake and be kicking herself for it. I would pretend like it didn't happen and then if she says it again/repeatedly address it then. I had a lot of people who must have known that they wouldn't be invited say that they were looking forward to seeing my dress - they saw the photos and seemed happy :)
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